“Courage” is not all it’s cracked up to be

Why do we admire certain “positive” qualities so much when they require us to be miserable?

In last week’s post about how I was facing cancer without any fear whatsoever, I explained why I didn’t think that I was brave. Bravery requires experiencing fear and I wasn’t experiencing any fear. I went on to point out that you’re better off not feeling fear at all—which eliminates the need for bravery—than being brave. And I explained what you could do to eliminate all your fears.

In thinking about that idea further this past week I realized that there were several other “positive” qualities that required you to be miserable before you could develop the positive quality. Three of them include “courage, “toughness” and “self-discipline.”

What is each of these “positive” qualities?

The Oxford English Dictionary defines courage as “the ability to do something that frightens one.”

So to have courage, you first must first be frightened and then be able to act in the face of the fear.

It goes on to define brave as “People who are ready to face and endure danger or pain.”

“Toughness” is defined as “able to endure hardship or pain.”

And “self-discipline” is defined as “The ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses.”

Each quality requires that you experience negative emotions so you can use that quality to overcome them.

It doesn’t look like fun getting there

To be courageous requires that you first experience fear.

To be brave requires that you first endure danger.

To be tough requires that you first endure pain.

To be self-disciplined requires that you first have negative feelings to overcome.

Yes, I agree that if you were having all these negative emotions, it would be nice to find a way to not be run by them. But why would anyone ever want to experience fear, danger, pain, and negative feelings in order to become courageous, brave, tough, or self-disciplined?

Suffering is not inevitable

If you think that suffering is inevitable (as do most people in the world), then it is wonderful to find a way to endure it. But suffering is not inevitable.

Suffering is nothing more than experiencing negative emotions. Stop your fear, anger, sadness, upset, grief, and envy and you will stop suffering.

Think about the alternative and decide which type of life you choose:

Either continue to experience suffering and then develop some qualities that enable you to deal with, handle, and perhaps overcome your suffering.

Or use the Lefkoe Freedom Process to dissolve the meaning you unconsciously and automatically assign to meaningless events, thereby simultaneously eliminating your negative feelings and your suffering.

I’ve written extensively on how to use the Lefkoe Freedom Process to dissolve occurrings. See especially https://www.mortylefkoe.com/important-improve-life/ and https://www.mortylefkoe.com/what-they-seem-2/. You can also view my TEDx talk, “How to Stop Suffering,” where I walk the viewer through the process for dissolving meaning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMdVM-t5kFs.

I want to thank you for the hundreds of communications of love and support. I really appreciate them.

Thanks for reading my blog. Please post your questions or comments on why pain and suffering are required to acquire some very popular “positive” qualities. Disagreement is as welcome as agreement. Your comments add value for thousands of readers. I love to read them all and I will respond to as many as I can.

If you want to help your friends who want to understand how to stop suffering by learning how to stop giving meaning to events, please share this blog post with them by using the buttons located below.

If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to http://www.recreateyourlife.com where you can eliminate several limiting beliefs free.

By Morty LefkoePublished On: Tuesday, April 15, 2014Categories: Uncategorized10 CommentsTags: beliefs, brave, courageous, danger, fear, LBP, Lefkoe Belief Process, Lefkoe Institute, Morty Lefkoe, Oxford English Dictionary, pain, self-discipline, stress, suffering, The Lefkoe Method, toughness

Joel Kaartinen July 10, 2014 at 8:00 am - Reply

I think you’re slamming down on courage too hard. Why? Because, you can’t dissolve the fear causing occurring if you don’t first have the courage to face the fear and find it’s source.

In other words, you don’t need to be courageous right now because you already used your courage to dissolve the fear.

This is perfectly in line with the dictionary definition for courage, is it not? Same goes for the other words you listed here.
- Morty Lefkoe July 10, 2014 at 11:21 am - Reply
  
  Hi Joel,
  
  I’m not sure I had to face any fear. I noticed the meaning that was causing my fear and dissolved that meaning, over and over, until I stopped giving meaning most of the time. Asking myself what meaning I gave what events that had caused my fear didn’t seem to take any courage. I’ve talked to hundreds of people in my courses who learned how to do this and never once has anyone told me it was scary to dissolve meaning.
  
  Love, Morty
Cheep April 19, 2014 at 2:25 am - Reply

Dr. Wayne Dyer, was recently saved by John of God, it is possible to temporarily improve your health
with help from the correct people. Darkness requires only visible light to diminish; infrared remains within us, even while taking dirt naps. We <3 you Morty.

Athenians, do not mind clever people, so long as they do not impart their cleverness to others. – Plato
Predators tolerate other predators' predation, as long as the herds remain healthy.
Lefkoe methods could turn U$ tax cattle feral, eliminating our owners rustled zombie prey.
Phoenix April 17, 2014 at 7:17 pm - Reply

Thank you, Morty! I love the distinction you’re making between having courage and having no fear. Most people would think it impossible to bypass suffering. I look forward to creating an increasingly sufferingless life for myself as well, so I can have maximal fun and show more people what is possible!

Here are a few questions I have.

1. What about the physical pain people undergo? Even if we don’t magnify the pain of injuries and sickness by giving the events meaning, don’t they still bring up negative feelings and constitute suffering?

2. Is suffering inevitable for children who haven’t developed the mental ability to dissolve meaning yet? If the Lefkoe Method became common knowledge, would it still take people extensive practice to fully overcome the mental habit of giving meaning, perhaps mastering the ability by early adulthood? Or would people avoid the problem in the first place due to being raised differently?

3. What kind of stories might people tell in a world where everyone knew events had no inherent meaning? Currently, the stories people tell typically require characters to grow through strife and suffering, which is supposedly necessary to make it a good, interesting story. And some people say that conflict and contrast is what makes life worth it – that you can’t properly appreciate feeling happy and free unless you have also been in great distress. How would you respond to that?
Ken Jenkins April 16, 2014 at 2:15 pm - Reply

Hi Morty,

In your case, no fear is a positive and giving no meaning to your cancer is great. I respectfully disagree with the point that “Courage” is not all it’s cracked up to be. I have a great friend that was at the Boston Marathon bombing last year and almost lost his life. The people that were there showed great courage in helping save peoples lives while they experienced fear, danger, and pain. I know every situation is different but its takes courage for a lot of different scenarios.
Paul Mitchell April 16, 2014 at 9:35 am - Reply

By putting all of these feelings and emotions into words it helps me to see more clearly. Thank you Morty, you have a magical way with words.
Love, Paul
Ted April 16, 2014 at 12:39 am - Reply

Thanks for the words of wisdom, Morty.

I do have a question about dissolving your occurrings. I normally have a hard time saying no to junk food/ fast food when I’m hungry. I’ve eliminated several beliefs with Shelly, but I haven’t gotten them all eliminated yet. Is there a way you could use the occurring process that would make it very easy to choose the healthier food options, (while I’m still searching and eliminating the relevant beliefs?)

I’ve thought about it before, and I’ve realized that the meaning in my mind is “I want McDonalds” and the event is me being hungry. Could that be the correct meaning and event I need to distinguish? Or do I need to look deeper at why I find myself wanting McDonalds? All of your other processes have helped so much, this last one (making better food choices) is the only thing I haven’t been able to fix yet.

Thank you for your time and have a good day. I look forward to hearing from you.

Ted

Ted
- Morty Lefkoe April 16, 2014 at 7:35 am - Reply
  
  Hi Ted,
  
  I don’t think the Lefkoe Freedom Process will help much with emotional eating. That requires using the Lefkoe Behavioral Conditioning Process even more than the Lefkoe Belief Process.
  
  And you may also have some specific conditioning about McDonalds itself.
  
  Love,Morty
  - Ted April 17, 2014 at 12:36 am - Reply
    
    Thanks Morty for the reply. That would explain why I still have trouble eating better even though I’ve eliminated belief after belief. I would love to schedule a session with you or Shelly sometime to tackle those last conditionings. Anyways, on a side note, would it be possible to use the WAIR (who am I really) process to overcome those conditionings in the meantime? That way I’m not trapped in those negative behaviors?
    
    Thanks again,
    
    Ted
    - Morty Lefkoe April 17, 2014 at 8:22 am - Reply
      
      Hi Ted,
      
      The WAIR? Process does not decondition conditionings.
      
      There are different types of conditioning and we have several different processes to decondition each type. emotional eating involves behavioral conditioning.
      A few sessions with Shelly should handle it.
      
      Love,Morty

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