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As I started to get dressed this morning it hit me. “It” was this overwhelming feeling of unhappiness, heaviness, and upset. I felt miserable. I did not want to go to work. I hadn’t felt this badly in many months.
I hadn’t felt this way when I had awakened a couple of hours earlier. I had jumped out of bed when the alarm went off after getting plenty of sleep. I had put on my robe and gone down to my desk as I always do to spend about 45 minutes answering emails and preparing my schedule for the day. Then still feeling fine, I had a good breakfast of eggs and toast. It was when I went to the bathroom to start getting ready for the day that this horrible feeling seemed to spring up from out of nowhere.
For a few minutes I felt overwhelmed by it. Then I started to use some of the techniques I’ve developed and written about to try to get myself out from underneath this ominous black cloud. After a few minutes the thought occurred to me:
“This is a great opportunity to notice everything I am doing to overcome this heavy, dismal feeling, so I can write about it in this week’s blog post. Instead of writing an article with suggestions on how to overcome suffering, I’ll write an article about what I actually did. I’ll dictate my thoughts into my pocket recorder and transcribe them later.”
I felt really terrible
So here are my thoughts and feelings from earlier today.
The first thoughts I recorded were: “It’s hard for me to think; it’s hard to concentrate. I just don’t want to be here. This is really painful.”
I used to have this type of feeling at least once a week for most of my life. As I eliminated beliefs and conditionings, these attacks became less and less frequent. I think the last episode was about a year ago.
It only took a couple of minutes of focusing on what I was feeling before I noticed a big difference between my experience of painful feelings today and my experience of similar feelings years ago.
In the past Morty had been upset. The upset had been inside me and all around me at the same time. There had been no part of me that wasn’t upset. This morning was very different: “I” could detach from the upset and watch myself being upset. It was almost as if there was a separate “I” who was watching Morty be upset. Moreover, I knew I was only having a “feeling”; it wasn’t who I was. I knew it would pass soon no matter what I did or didn’t do. This little exercise didn’t make the feeling go away, but it did create a slight distance between the upset and ME. As a result I didn’t feel totally overwhelmed by the feeling, as I had been years ago.
Looking for the source of the feeling
Once I had gotten some distance from the “black hole” I seemed to be in, I asked myself: “Where did this feeling come from? What is causing it?”
I thought of everything that was going on in my life. Both of my daughters have been going through difficult times recently and I felt that neither have allowed me to help them the way I wanted. They have been talking to my wife Shelly a lot more than they have been talking to me. Had I given that any meaning? I realized that I had given it meaning when I first noticed it, but I had dissolved it quickly. This morning it was clear to me that my relationship with the two of them had nothing to do with the lousy way I was feeling.
At this point I noticed that some part of me wanted to hold on to the upset. I had reverted to feeling that Morty was upset. I was so identified with the upset that not having it seemed like an invalidation of me somehow. As soon as I noticed this, I again focused on observing myself having the feeling. As soon as I was able to separate myself from the feeling and watch myself having it, the resistance to finding a way to get rid of it disappeared and the feeling itself diminished in intensity.
Then, as I started looking for the source of the feeling “I” was observing Morty having, the intensity diminished even more. But Morty was still feeling pretty horrible.
The event that started it all
I suddenly realized that just about the time I first noticed the unhappiness this morning, I had the thought: “I don’t want to go to work today. I really don’t.”
I had a strong sense that that wasn’t just a coincidence, so I looked more closely at that thought. Maybe I felt shitty because I needed a good excuse for not going to work. But on reflection that explanation didn’t really make sense. If I really wanted to take the day off, I would have. I didn’t really need an excuse. I’ve taken time off, even an entire day, when I felt really tired and needed some time off.
But it still seemed as if the event that set off this miserable feeling was thinking about going to work. What meaning had I given this event that could produce the upset I was experiencing?
The meaning I gave the event
Here’s my answer as I said it out loud into my recorder earlier today:
“It’s a struggle. It’s too hard. I have something that makes such a profound difference in people’s lives. It shouldn’t be so hard to make the world aware of it. Yes, over 150,000 have tried the free belief-elimination program, but that’s just a drop in the bucket. We should be helping millions of people.
“I’ve been at this for almost 28 years and I shouldn’t have to work this hard to contribute this to the world. The Lefkoe Method can help people get rid of their negative feelings and their barriers to taking action. There’s nothing else in the world that can do what our work can do. Yes, it’s getting out there but it is so slow, so incremental.
“I spend almost a full day each week to write a blog that can make a profound difference in people’s lives and there are only about 50 thousand people on the mailing list. I’m 75 years old and I don’t have forever. If I were only 35 it would be different. I’m never going to make the impact I want to make in my lifetime.”
That last sentence was it: “I’m never going to make the impact I want to make in my lifetime.” That was the meaning I was giving to getting ready to go to work. And that meaning had produced the all-encompassing upset that seemed to have descended on me from out of nowhere. But the feeling hadn’t come from out of nowhere. It had come as the direct result of giving a meaningless event this particular meaning.
How I stopped the cloud of negativity
The next thing I did was to realize that what I have accomplished so far tells me nothing for sure about what I will accomplish in the future. In other words, no matter what my team and I accomplish … or fail to accomplish, has no inherent meaning. It isn’t the truth that I’m never going to make the impact I want to make in my lifetime.
When I made it clear that what had seemed like a fact—meaning that had seemed to be inherent in the event—was actually only a meaning I had ascribed to the event, the feeling dissolved on the spot. And when the meaning dissipated, the dark cloud I had been living under for the prior couple of hours dissipated also.
I was almost done. But before I stopped I also wanted to get clear on my vision and what I might and might not accomplish, so what happened this morning wouldn’t happen again.
Making sure this doesn’t happen again
My vision is to help create a world in which people stop their mental anguish and suffering and create new possibilities for happiness and success. Was I attached to that vision? For many years I had been attached. I thought that achieving my vision is what made me a good and worthy person. I thought my vision was better than the visions other people had for their lives. I thought the world “needed” what I had to offer.
But many years ago I had let go of all that. I had started seeing my vision as a game I choose to play. I knew I was okay regardless of what I achieved and I was clear the world would do just fine with or without me. So I wasn’t attached any more, but, like when playing any other game, I get excited when I win and unhappy when I lose my “make a difference in the world” game. When you play a real game, you always know you are playing a game that you can put away and go back to life, so the unhappiness when you lose only goes down so deep. But you can still be unhappy for a while when you don’t do well in your game.
Now this is the most important realization of the day:
Even though I was experiencing my life as a game, I could still be unhappy for a short time if I thought I was losing the game. The trick is to not give that meaning—namely, that I am losing the game—to anything I achieve … or don’t achieve.
No matter how much I achieve, there is always so much more I have not yet achieved. By focusing on all the things I want to do that I haven’t been able to do, instead of focusing on what the number of lives we at the Lefkoe Institute have impacted positively, this morning I was giving what we haven’t yet achieved the meaning that I am losing the game. And that meaning resulted in me feeling really bad for a couple of hours.
So you’ve now seen a blow-by-blow description of my thoughts and feelings over the past couple of hours. The black cloud and heaviness I felt all morning has totally lifted.
How did I do it?
What exactly did I do to stop my suffering?
First, I remembered that I have feelings, but I am not my feelings. I was able to separate from the “creation” called Morty and observe him being upset. That perspective significantly lessened the intensity of the negative feelings I was experiencing and enabled me to complete the other steps.
Second, I looked for the event that immediately preceded the onset of the upset.
Third, then I found the meaning I had given the event that was responsible for the upset.
Fourth, once I made a clear distinction between the event and the meaning, the meaning dissolved along with the feelings that had been caused by the meaning.
There is no need to suffer
These four steps really do work. The next time you find yourself overcome by negative feelings, no matter what they are, just follow these four steps. There really is no need for you to suffer any more. Try it and see for yourself. I love you.
This week’s exercise
The next time you experience an upset, follow the four steps I present in the post.
For more information about how to observe yourself having a feeling, see https://www.mortylefkoe.com/042709/#. And for more information about how to distinguish meanings from events, read my post at https://www.mortylefkoe.com/important-improve-life/# and watch this short video http://www.occurringcourse.com/#.
Please comment on this post and write your results from the exercise
Your comments and questions increase the value we all receive. I read them all and respond to as many as I can.
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If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to http://recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one negative belief free.
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Copyright ©2012 Morty Lefkoe
Dear Morty,
You’ve just made the impact on my life!
Thank you for that.
I am following you since a couple of months and I following you from Italy.
Your teachings and advice are so valuable!
Morty,
You defined the feeling I keep giving meaning to. “I’m losing the game.” Gosh I needed to hear that. It was an ahha moment.
It was good to hear your story on this. I have a tendency to think people like yourself are past having to deal with things like this. It helped me for when that thought comes “by now I shouldn’t have to be dealing with this.” Your refreshing honesty makes you so helpful and effective.
Thank you
Hi Morty – Thanks for this. It’s really helpful to have a way to deal with feeling upset to me. I appreciate how this adds to my effectiveness and quality of life.
Hi Morty
I am wondering whether suffering can sometimes be the motivator we need to make changes in our lives. If we remove that are we in danger of losing our impetus for taking action?
Interesting post – thanks for your openness. Mailing list of 50,000 sounds pretty good to me :-)
Hi Ros,
You can be motivated by passion or fear, the desire to achieve or the desire to overcome. One does not need to suffer in order to act.
Love, Morty
This really, really works. It helps me to remember my feelings are like clouds passing in the sky. Sometimes they are white and fluffy and sometimes they are dark and stormy; they always pass through and do all day, every day. We don’t flip out over clouds, do we! Nor should we flip out over feelings, as Morty points out. Great tool to stop the suffering. Thanks Morty, you’re awesome. :)
Dearest Morty,
I just wanted to tell you that regardless of your mailing list, you help more people than you ever know.Thank-you for your wisdom and honesty in your sharing of yourself.it really helps.
May you and your beautiful family have a Christmas as joyous as the joy you share with us all, and your New year be full of prosperity.
Love to you all in the Lefkoe family.
Hi Morty,
Yes, I respect your candor and courage of self-examination/self-disclosure.
Might I offer you that the ‘occurance’ of the occurance that you had not reached millions of lost souls may well have been ignited from a deeper inner sense of self-creator; symbolic of an internal organization of metaphorical meaningfulness! Your consciousness logically examines your rational logic/illogic of making meaning out of events. As 90% of consciousness is outside of commonsense logic, your inner self may be referring to Quality of two very Inherently, Meaningful relationships seeking ground of being connection that can never be measured in the Quantity of numbers of people reached! Has it ‘occurred’ to you that some meanings of family connection are more inherent and not arbitrary interpretations of situational flux? Your soul of father is beautiful and know that how your daughters express themselves to you or not taps inherent Meaningfulness that you can cope with but your core bonding with them is intrinsic to your self-being and never not affects at that deeper level! You are a very good man/father Morty, the kind every child would appreciate! Recognition of the multiple sides of caring doesn’t mean change, rather it’s acceptance of the gift and art of loving! Love, Don
Dear Morty,
So many people are expressing similar idea with a different path toward peace. There are many ways to reach the same destination, and I think that people are finding the path that resonates with them. You have done so much for the hundreds of thousands you’ve reached so far by giving them their perfect path. Just because this path my not resonate with millions doesn’t make it unsuccessful, but you already know that now :)
Hey Morty
As a dedicated reader of your posts, I can say that most of us that really apply your suggestions have better lives than most people. Also, you did a great job by handing us a description of the actual Occurring process from YOUR point of view, which is truly priceless.
I have a suggestion for you myself
I don’t know exactly how you advertise the Lefkoe Method, but as we all know, it could have a significant impact on any person’s life. Think about it: Everyone wants to end their sufferring. I think it is one of the very few things that all people in the world have in common. Think how just one broad advertisement could increase the awareness for this world-shifting method.
Also, I personally think that TLM should be taught in public schools and universities. I am 16, and I can say that TLM has shifted my entire reality, so other teens should study it as soon as they as old enough to understand. If these organizations really acknowledge the power of TLM, it will be accessible to a lot more people.
Love, Almog, Israel
Well I am really happy I read this post as I really feel that for every person you have helped the impact of that help touches everybody in their lives too.So really the number you have helped is far greater than you could possibly know.
The things that I have learnt have changed me so much for the better in such a short time,that everybody around me benefits and in turn the people around them will benefit too.
I encourage everyone who has not done so to do the confidece course it will change your life and touch everyone around you too.
Lusana
Thank you for sharing this, its very helpful. And you do make a huge difference, which is enough. Much Love :)
Excellent post. Thanks for the enlightening example of how to use the Occurring and Belief Processes.
In regard to the actual content, the reason why suffering cannot be totally undone by your efforts or by the Lefkoe Method in general is that LM only addresses symptoms. That is not a criticism. LM actually addresses deeper symptoms than most other approaches working as it does on the mental – and perhaps to some extent and times – super-mental levels. And I might add, used correctly, it works wonderfully in my experience!
The problem is that we are out of sync with our Creator and this is like holding our breath or refusing to admit we need to eat. Animals don’t have the same issues as humans because they work primarily off of instinct instead of reason. Thus, animals do what they do with very little reasoning whereas humans tend to use a lot of reasoning.
If we think of instinct as an animal operating system and of reasoning as the human operating system what do we find? (Again, I’m not saying that animals don’t reason or that humans aren’t governed to an extent by instinct.)
What we find is that animals are perfect. They live in relative harmony within their species, across species and with their habitat to the extent that the complex system of interrelationships is able to continue in perpetuity. Humans act upon their natural instinctual drives with the benefit of reason. It is there where they run into trouble. They do not maintain balance with each other, other species nor their environment and thus, throughout history we tend to corrupt and destroy all of these.
The Bible reveals that the Creator meant animal creation to be governed by instinct, or programs that he personally put into place, but that humanity would be governed by reason which would be informed with accurate knowledge and guidance under his direct association. That was cut off by our first ancestors and no human has been able to restore it. This state is like having billions of powerful computers working in a large plant without a central coordinator.
LM is a method that seeks to bring consciousness to what is going on with our perceptions and creations. Other methods seek to help people connect by realizing their natural oneness in the web of life. The results are profound and amazing. But none of these addresses the mother of all problems. We can get some relief but none of these are the paths to the end of all human suffering and they cannot lead to the natural coherence/harmony (and thus the continuance) of the human race with other species and it’s habitat.
Hi Dan,
Thanks for posting your thoughts.
Just one clarification: As far as I’m concerned The Lefkoe Method does eliminate suffering. It doesn’t do it once and for all so that suffering never happens again, but it is possible to get to the point that you can catch it and dissolve the meaning that caused it in a matter of minutes.
As I said, I haven’t had an upset this bad for about a year and I got rid of it rather quickly.
I and people who complete my ten week occurring course learn how to reduce the number of occurrings in our lives and dissolve most of the rest of them automatically. The few that sneak through we can handle relatively quickly manually.
Love, Morty
Thanks, Morty.
That’s what I understood you to say and I agree that your Occurring Method and the LBP work very well.
What i meant by the content of your experience was addressing your efforts to spread your work and the possible impact that your work would have.
I do think that, as you’ve said or implied in the past, that your Method does actually prevent much actual suffering, because the user is in a better state and has more freedom from subconscious anomalies. If everybody used these no doubt the world would be a much better place.
My point was that it would not reduce human suffering completely because it would not unite humanity with each other, nor with other species nor with their overall environment nor with the Creator. Eliminating the meaning allows the emotions to stop hurting. But that doesn’t teach the person what is really going on. You teach that there is nothing really going on and that all meaning is something that we (conscious beings) create. However, if there is one personal Creator of all things then it stands to reason that every event has a meaning that doesn’t come from us. In addition to dissolving our own meanings we would do well to actually search for the Creator and the meaning the Creator has given to the creation. Any meanings which we develop, if in line with that central meaning, would only build on it and thus would cause suffering a greatly reduced amount of suffering while uniting the meaning creators with each other. However, any meaning that fails to build on the Creator’s meaning would eventually cause great suffering as it would disconnect them from the Creator and their fellow meaning creators.
Dan,
This sounds more like a human being yearning for this Creator and wanting his life to have meaning, not dissolving the meaning that causes violence and heartache to varying degrees. We create the meaning and imagine an entity somewhere paying attention to us as a species. But it is all supposition. To think about our lives living a meaning that an entity comes up with and somehow relays that to us is keeping us from living our lives to the fullest. If there is this Creator somewhere, maybe it(he/she) just wanted to experiment so see what would happen. Suffering, like Morty says exists; he’s just found a method that dissolves what creates the suffering. Personally, I see us growing up as a species and not worrying about some invisible entity somewhere juding us.
Love and Light on your Journey,
Lauren
Thanks, Lauren.
It’s simple to correct for the phenomenon you speak of.
If there is a Creator that created everything one could come up with all sorts of reasons why that Creator has either done or allowed things to be as they are. Making up things about this can only lead to neurosis on a personal level and the building of societal structures that become power bases. Whether these actually have behind them the Creator or not would still not be immediately eliminated as a possibility even then.
The simple strategy is to look at the creation and see how it behaves. Then, to look at all of the various claims of having a personal contact with God by various people and records and begin to fit in how the people who hold these to be authentic actually behave. Is it any more like the rest of creation – are they moved to more integrative, united and sustainable behavior – or are they more or less as destructive than the rest of humanity?
Another line of evidence to look for would be in the meaning given if indeed having come in touch with the Creator whatever group or record also claims to have a paradigm given by the Creator to explain who the Creator is, who human beings are relative to the Creator, each other and the rest of animate and inanimate creation, what happens at death, and specific hard or “impossible” to come by knowledge of the past and/or the future. Again, the body of knowledge would have to generate unity, purpose and sustainable action, not just be interesting.
You are not alone that believing or seeking evidence for a Creator is juvenile while ceasing such is like waking up. But studying the results of that belief upon a population of those who sincerely hold it we see that it hasn’t resulted in their unity nor sustainable behavior but more human misery.
In fact, ‘growing up as a species by ceasing to consider hard evidence for a real Creator with a personality’ is really just a meaning that people are creating and they are doing it to escape pain. Like many other meanings we create it is without evidence. There is tons of evidence that people and whole religions that claim to have a relationship with a personal Creator actually do not according to the writings they claim to source those beliefs. It is also true that those groups have also created a massive amount of pain for their own populace and those that don’t subscribe to those beliefs. Yet it still is not evidence against the basic premise of a personal Creator and therefore a meaning formed to protect against those groups foolishness is reactionary meaning creation. As such, it is sure to create it’s own pain, even if one doesn’t link the suffering to the meaning.
Dan,
As it is said about democracy; it’s messy and followed by long periods of human suffering because for the most part people have to be dragged screaming to anything new(something they didn’t consider or realize before but goes against what they believe). I don’t reject a creator to escape pain; I reject the existence of a creator because, for the most part, most believers use their belief as a way of controlling people. It is the reason the founding fathers rejected any sort of religious belief as part of our constitution. I grew up in a Christian household and what I have seen and experienced, is that people use their religion to judge others against a fixed criteria. I did experience Oneness when I was a teenager; however, I did not and do not attribute it to a creator. I understand your line of reasoning; I just reject it. And I’ve never seen any “hard evidence” for the existence of one. One would actually have to meet this entity face to face and I’ve yet to hear of anyone doing any such thing. It is merely a meaning people attribute to an experience whether it produces strife or togetherness. It is ultimately(in my opinion)up to the individual to ascribe meaning to these experiences and their is such a thing as a group mentality. Another thing, when Morty speaks of the Who Am I Really process whether dissolving a belief or an occurring, there is never mention of a supernatural entity responsible for the feeling of strength, serenity, and peace. When, in fact I experienced my own Oneness, I read the Tao Te Ching, the closest I could come because there is no mention of a creator. Your argument is well thought out and I appreciate the feedback; I just don’t accept it.
Love and Light on your Journey,
Lauren
Responding to: [Lauren November 9, 2012 at 1:42 pm]
Hi Lauren,
I appreciate your feedback as well and I respect your decision to reject or accept any conclusion you may.
Oneness as a perception is fantastic and wonderful to experience. I experience it at will, I call it Field Consciousness, and I use it to heal myself and others and simple open to flow throughout the day. Still, I recognize that my experience doesn’t add up to unity of behavior in either myself or others. Oh, it can prevent me from doing many stupid things, but that isn’t the same as doing wise things. Many people think that Confucius stated the same “Golden Rule” that Jesus did. The fact is that he said DON’T do to others what you wouldn’t wish them to do to you. Jesus said DO to others what you would have them do to you. The subtle difference create different universes. The latter requires a unity of cognition, a perception that surpasses the limited scope of human consciousness and can see all perspectives at once, see what is really the best thing – what is TRULY the loving thing to DO – in the moment and for the future outcomes of all involved. Not doing something is not the same thing. Therefore, Field Consciousness and that feeling of blissful oneness, while wonderful, sublime even, fails to meet the deep need of humanity.
I don’t discount your, my or anyone else’s personal experience as valid evidence when accepting or rejecting anything. In fact, what I am presenting here is what the LM attempts to do. It attempts to unlearn something so that other things can be learned or viewed as possibility. In other words, your judgment of rejection based on your personal experience disallows further information. You say that religions tend to make people judgmental yet you have judged a simple concept which you cannot disprove arbitrarily as untrue.
On the other hand, I’m not saying that judgment is a bad thing. We all judge. What is bad is not realizing how limiting it can be. Every decision we make limits us. The laptop I’m typing on right now was designed in a way that limited it into a small space which makes for a few issues. It doesn’t have some advantages of a desk top. However, it doesn’t have the limitations of a smart phone either. Someone made decisions in design that allowed for the most advantages possible in the smallest space and weight possible. The Creator does the same thing. We live in a carbon universe. No other element is able to do what carbon can do. Without carbon life in this particular universe couldn’t exist as we know it. There is no other way that we can speculate based on the chemical elements and the mechanical laws of the universe that govern them that life could arrive. But even limited to that one element we find fantastic variety.
So the point of judging is that it keep us open ended and connected. What happens in a poor design is that it ends up causing problem after problem, shortsighted limitation after shortsighted limitation. That is what happens with bad judgments and why a person needs to check not only how a judgment/decision would impact themselves and their own friends/acquaintances and life but also all human beings present and future, all life and all other species and creation. The power of judgment is that we are designing our life and that of everyone and thing around us.
You and I are engineers in that way and engineers have to take seriously the responsibility that they are designing a product that people are going to use which could greatly aid them or hurt them depending on it’s quality.
Your thinking that you grew up in a Christian household: was it? The design of Christianity from the study of the Bible shows that they were commanded to preach and teach a message of peace as their life course, just like Christ and as intensely as Christ. Following Christ would have meant not being involved in politics of the lands in which they dwelt for they were ambassadors and emissaries of Christ, the Lord of God’s Kingdom, a government separate from any Earthly one. Ambassadors don’t involve themselves in the politics of other lands. The record of ancient Christians also shows that they didn’t join the military or fight carnal warfare for the same reasons. Right away, if one goes by what is actually written in the book of Acts and the four Gospels and other writings of the NT, we can slice off 95% of all religions which claim to be Christian.
A bit of accuracy can help one rethink judgments.
Take democracy. Most people don’t realize it, but they have little experience with true democracy. In school I was rightly taught that the United States is not actually a democracy. It was designed as a democratic republic. The popular vote doesn’t elect the highest office of the legislative branch, the electoral college does. In the dawn of America, the electoral college was made up of people who actually WERE voted into office by the people. Today, that simply isn’t the case. Both the Senate and the House and the President are often in office (and/or controlled thereafter) on the merits of special interest groups with billions and billions of dollars who focus is to 1) keep what they have, make more, and to that end their goal MUST be to take control and continue an illusion that they and THEIR government are needed and legitimate. They control marketing companies which design polarization campaigns so that people can push back and forth and feel as if they have a choice and still have a government. Following the money one sees definitely (but sadly) that the democratic republic of the United States disappeared early in the 1900’s and was on it’s way out as early at the mid 1800’s.
But even the very idea of a democratic republic, as all other human self-governing ideas, is not a proven idea. The very fact that it creates as much damage as it does in it’s people and all resources, while having to use lie campaigns to spin the results of it’s existence, shows that it is not truly successful. No government in the HISTORY of history has ever reversed this trend, stabilised and begun to behave in unity with all humans, species and it’s environment. Period.
People’s world begins to spin out of control when they even begin to consider these issues. Fear is the basis of at least 85% of most people’s belief systems, even when they are feeling serene. A person can feel totally serene getting their head chopped off or going to their death over a waterfall…if they are able to dissolve the meaning they may give it. Still, that doesn’t help them escape their fate and make their path a failure.
The fact is that just as we are not consciously aware of our Occurrings before we do that process, we are not aware that many or most of our global paradigm beliefs are in fact, based on fear OR the threat of fear. Our greatest drive as biological organisms is to MOVE AWAY FROM FEAR. As cognitive creatures, we humans subconsciously reason ourselves in and out of all sorts of places all much of the time never seeing one of the greatest pains of all, that we are not in control of our own minds, government, religion, lives and world and we don’t see a demonstratively successful way to regain that control and balance in ourselves and our world.
I took a course that comes form the same place as these four steps, but your steps are much easier. The course I took was called the Landmark Forum, the class size is around 150 people, and you say what events in your early childhood that you still remember and are upset about. The instructor writes one event at a time in a circle on the left, then writes what your interpretations are about the event on a circle on the right. Seeing how your interpretations are separate from the event forces you to “I collapse” them, but one of the pitfalls of this methods is that when you think you’re upset you can’t differentiate what goes in the left and what goes in the right. I think steps work a little better for me, following something one step at a time when you’re not thinking clearly is more effective. I love you too Morty!! Remember that we’re all one, and those 150,000 people that caught a spark from you spread that spark to someone else, the cashier at the gas station, their mother, their friends, etc. so you are the center of a fantastic movement of positivity.
Dear Morty
Thanks for the blog. To me it seems quite courageous to reveal inner thoughts and upsets to an unknown audience. May you find much positive meaning in your life and work and enjoy the blessings of your own discoveries of how to get free of these dark thoughts, if they continue to appear. For myself – getting to the stage where I can question the negative meanings I give my day or my life – but should I listen to my hopes or fears for how it will be?
Many thanks
James
Dear Morty,
It was wonderful to read what you have shared!! There is so much to learn about the process that you have described!! Thank you, I hope to learn much from the process and be able to follow the process myself too!!
Thanks for the post Morty. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who gets blindsided by off days.
I am in a psychology class and we were talking about being superficial and how to really get to the root of our “real person” that is underneath all the superficiality. We need to rationalize more with our feelings and truly care about what we are feeling, and then use that rationalizing to get to a conclusion and direct ourselves towards what we want in life.
Morty, it always amazes me how our subconscious seems to be with us telling us everything we need to know. I have the same type of experiences at least twice, sometimes three times a week. My problem is I am not listening completely. I tend to stop the negative emotions when I feel them coming on as if I do not want to listen to it because I do not like negative thoughts. This is a great eye opener for me. Thank you for sharing!
If you really wanted to help as many people as you say try giving this thing away for free how much money do really need at this point in your life this would get this and it does work I got NC thanks for making it
Wow Morty, brilliant post!!!
Thank you so much for leading by example, and teaching me that is ok to be human, and still keep striving on becoming my most sublime self.
Remember that by impacting only one person, you are also affecting that same person’s circle of influence… That’s a lot of people Morty, probably close to the million… or more… who knows? who cares? Don’t pay attention to the numbers, they’re not important, what truly matters is your intention to contribute to make this world a happier place to live in.
Mil gracias for bringing hope with your labor of love, and for all you have done to impact my world!
I love you!
Patti
Hi Morty!
I had the exact same negative reaction for the exact same reasons just a couple of hours ago. Your blog link happened to be in my email inbox and the title got my attention as I was getting upset, really upset too. Reading your article and everyone’s comments helped me shift out of it. Thank you Marty and thank you everyone for your sharing your wonderful comments!
Geneviève
Thank you so very much.
excellent Post! Thanks you!
Morty, this post is golden. You need to do more articles like this. In my opinion, this is exactly how you spread your genius method to more people. If people can learn to do this stuff for themselves, rapid change can happen.
Thank you Morty.
You have made a difference for this one.
Good personal post. It takes guts to expose yourself like that (at least I imagine).
The first step of observing yourself having the emotions and recognizing that you aren’t them sounds a lot like mindfulness and what we try to do during meditation. No? How can you add that into Lefkoe theory? It seems to me that this step doesn’t have to do with beliefs; other techniques maybe be needed too.
This reminds me hoe important it us not to just relying on 1 technique..
Hi Jason,
We have many more techniques than just the Lefkoe Belief Process. I recently wrote about the sense process and the occurring process is like mindfulness is some respects. Being able to step back and watch your creation is enabled by the Who Am I Really? Process. There is also a process to de-condition triggers for emotional eating.
I think The Lefkoe Method now has about 9 different processes.
Love, Morty
I love you too Morty.
And, just for the record – I find your wisdom soooo sexy : )
Morty,
I love that you describe it as a game. Last night, I was listening to the election returns and found myself feeling nervous about who was going to win. Instead of watching the first part with my family, I sat on the computer in another room and listened. After awhile, though, I thought, “What difference does it make? Whoever gets elected won’t change my day to day existence.” I walked out and watched, both the results on tv and how Lauren the creation was reacting. I realized the meaning I was giving my feelings, “If my candidate loses, all the progress we’ve made in the last sixty years will all disappear.” All or nothing thinking. When I dissolved that meaning, that nervous, I don’t want to watch feeling dissolved as well. And the game goes on….
Love and Light on the Journey,
Lauren
I can so relate to your feelings but it is so nice to read your post as if I am watching a movie with lessons for me to be learned from your pain. I too have the desire to be the provider of products like yours because I know and believe that it will enable the masses to live a better quality of life.
Although I have not purchased your product, just the complimentary information you distribute through your blog and emails have revolutionized my thinking. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the seeds you plant! My dream is to have an affiliate relationship with your company so that my company will be able to offer your product to millions of women we serve.
Hi Camille,
We have affiliates for our products. If you are interested please call us at (415) 506-4472 for more information.
Love,Morty
I also sometimes have to have a conversation with my “Avatar” when he gets to feeling down.
Thanks Morty,
Very helpful. I will write down these steps and bring with me all the time. It’s so easy to get stuck in confusion when things like this happens, so a “cheat cheet” comes very handy.
Morty, thank you so much for taking the time to share with us your experience. What you do does make a difference in the lives of people you will never meet. God bless you!
Hi Morty, I appreciate u sharing this bcuz often times, those who want to assist others in self growth & personal development don’t share that they too go thru human struggles and feelings. I love how u have shared that very human aspect of yourself but also showed how you remedied the problem. This is really big. Bcuz we all face challenges that try to throw us off our paths daily. We are spiritual beings in human form so as we live this human life, we are not exempt from emotions & situations that may affect us negatively. It’s about keeping those things in check when we are faced with them and getting to a point where they affect us less & less. Thanks again for sharing your process.
Hello Morty,
you are pretty close, you got all this way by yourself.
you just have a tiny insight missing for the completion of your journey.
so simple so easy to miss.
Please take a look at this video, watch it in it’s entirety and it will be obvious for you.
It’s not the case for most people, for this to be obvious to you, you had to go through your own path which opened the door for you to understand and see the truth, which would only have seemed like nonsense to you otherwise.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqCXTlePoqQ&feature=related
It takes courage and trust to be this truthful…to let us ‘see’ you in your darker times as well as your lighter times. Not many on the earth can do this. I can see and accept you exactly as you are, no matter how you ‘show up’…I have love for you either way!
Hi Morty, Great post and great example. Thanks!
By the way yourwork has really helped me immensely and I did take quite a lot of time to write in and offer to help you promote your products BUT I got a “Cookie Cutter” answer back so I stopped approaching you.
Perhaps Morty there are qualified people like myself who are willing to help promote your services and all you need to do is to open your eyes and see them :-) I’m still open if you are :-)
Blessings Morty!
Carl :-)
Hi Carl,
I’m not sure who answered you or what was said, but we are always interested in ideas on how to get our work into the world and we have affiliate arrangements for our products and services.
If you are interested please call us at (415) 506-4472.
Love, Morty
Hi Morty,
I’ll write you a personal email outlining some ideas and strategies and also some feedback. I believe that you can significantly expand your reach out into the world and help more people. Next year could be your biggest year ever, and why not! Your product is amazing and unlike many self help products out there it actually works quickly, noticeably and permanently. I’ll have that to you by Sunday.
Blessings Morty!
Carl :-)
Hi Carl,
I look forward to hearing from you.
Love,Morty
Hi Morty,
Sent you a 11 page doc on monday with some suggestions. Just wondering if you got it?
Blessings
Carl :-)
Thank you so much for sharing this, Morty. I can SO relate! The question that has helped me is defining for myself, “How many people do I have to help to know I am making a difference in the world? What’s my definition of “making a difference” and of “winning” this game?”
I’ve decided for myself that if I had only affected even just one person (even though I’m way beyond that), then I have made a difference. AND, then there’s the ripple effect to consider, too. So it’s nearly impossible to affect only one person.
When we do our version of this process, we end with a step that asks, “What’s an interpretation (new meaning) that would feel better?” We find this step really helpful.
Thank you, Morty. This is exactly how I was feeling yesterday. You’ve helped me today. I’m going to keep this article at my desk, in case I feel that way again.
Thank you Morty for being so authentic. Your post “wake” me up.
Maybe you don’t impact all the world but you impact a person’s all world!
Morty,
Isn’t it true that our lives can be sometimes so overwhelmed by the have not’s that we don’t appreciate the haves. Everyone knows that we our own harshest critic, but I don’t think people really understand the impact that it has on us. As you have mentioned so many times, it is the beliefs not truths that we carry that create for us, so much unhappiness and internal turmoil.
I had a very similar thing happen to me last week. As you now do, I find it easier with much practice that I can determine what is causing these feelings of discontent quicker than I used to. I too can step outside of myself. However, it still takes time and much reflection. So after I did almost exactly what you did, I too found that I was giving meaning to my work that I no longer felt. What I have done and accomplished no longer holds the same value to me that it used to. However, once I acknowledged that I didn’t want to go to work that day because a part of me wasn’t being fulfilled at work. I no longer felt the same way that I had for so many years. I then realized that I could turn those feelings into action items and not inward toward personal suffering. I’ve changed and with those changes, what is important to me is different and work holds a different meaning now. Yet, the value that I provide is also different. I lost a child two years ago and I have learned that sometimes it is not what I do in my work that has the most impact. Showing up every day and displaying the human spirit’s desire to continue to live through such tragedy is perhaps more of a gift than the work I actually accomplish. I lived through this and I show people every day that I wake up that they can to.
We always want more. We want to help more, do more, have more. Yet, the value we can provide to even one person is and should be reward enough. So when you have those days when you feel like you haven’t done enough or reached enough people, look at your website. See the lives that you changed and know that your truth is you’ve done a lot.
Hi Tara,
I’m truly sorry to hear about your loss of a child.
Congratulations for continuing to “show up” every day.
Love,Morty
What I like about Morty is that he doesn’t present himself as one of the smiling faces promising wealth, success, power, personal attraction, etc. Morty is a regular guy, not slick, not a gladhander. He’s earnest and sincere and hasn’t gone to any great length to make himself photogenic. A comment to Thomas: I am working in Mexico and am amazed at how happy the sector of people who have few material resources are and how generous they are with what they have. That said, I could not or can not be like them. They are happy because of a culture which supports their indifference to poverty. I am, for good or bad a North American with all the social baggage that comes with being so. Morty speaks to me and my striving and scheming live and its attendent dissappointments.
Morty. This is the most courageous thing you’ve ever written and here I thought the method evolved all because your wife needed it. While that was lovely and romantic this is just as powerful a message. Now here is my thoughts about lifetime achievements. NO ONE ever knows the depth and breadth of their reach and impact. That should not stop us! We should still work our passion and bring it and give it to the world. Karl’s reply shows a great example of that. I learned this from Brian Klemmer before his death. Be a compassionate passionate Samurai (look it up) have goals that reach beyond your life and Morty you already do; you just haven’t seen it as that. As for happiness for happiness sake that’s nice for some but most of us are wired with love which means we want to help and some of us want to help a lot; which means we feel pain when we fall short of our own expectations. I keep going, I find a way over, under, or around. I found your method and it helps to get me moving in whatever direction I need to move and when I help one more person I smile and am able to gain momentum. Thanks Morty.
“The Lefkoe Method can help people get rid of their negative feelings and their barriers to taking action. There’s nothing else in the world that can do what our work can do.”
To state and believe the aforementioned as fact, you clearly possess an incredibly egomaniacal, narcissistic, self-ordained, messiah-like opinion of yourself and your eponymous “Lefkoe method.”
“Nothing else in the world…” You have much more inner work ahead of you, Mr. Lefkoe. Given your desperate need to be famous, I doubt you will undertake that work.
And probably what you need is more compassion and self-reflection, Mr./Ms. Spats.
Our response to someone who has the courage to show their deepest and most vulnerable feelings in such a clear way (Mind you-with the intention to help others) , says a lot about our heart.
Blessings, love and light
Patti
I don’t doubt mr. Lefkoe’s heart Patti, but i agree with the previous poster about this being an obvious sign that Lefkoe should step back and consider taking the time to take care of his inner battles before teaching others how to do it.
That seem to be the most responsible thing to do.
That doesn’t mean all of his teachings are bad and should be stopped, but clearly some of his claims could be reconsidered as well.
much love!
Thank you for your loving, bright, and kind comment, Berube. It says a lot about your heart.
That was precisely what I was referring to when I responded to Spats; I somewhat agree with you (and him/her?) about the possible need of Morty reconsidering the way he manages his passion for his work without diminishing its importance; but who are we to attack him for it? We’re all human, and we must support each other, much more when we’re down, and he’s doing his best to help the world; I was just suggesting some compassion for the darkness he showed he was experiencing, and giving him some recognition for how he brilliantly showed us how to come out of it. I’m sure he (Morty) has a lot to think about with this great post. It’s all good… from wherever point of view you look at it… It’s all good…
Much love to you as well!!!
Patti
You can believe in the superiority of your system without holding an “incredibly egomaniacal, narcissistic, self-ordained, messiah-like opinion” of themselves. To make that leap in your argument without first proving it–claiming it “clear” as you’ve erroneously done–constitutes egregious logic.
Furthermore, what is a “narcissistic” opinion? An opinion that thinks highly of itself? Do opinions possess sentience? If so, like Skynet, when did they become self-aware? Our heads should be on swivels lest the Terminators of our independent self-reflecting notions seek to crush us afoot!
@TG: spot on! I’ve never found anything like the Lefkoe Method(s) in all the world of self-development. To claim superority for your system has nothing to with with the descriptions Spats places upon it. His statement says more about his state of mind than Morty’s.
In the beginning I would try and find out what I was reacting to and staying with – amazingly it was almost like the feeling began to talk to me and reveal patterns both in my personal life and ancestral line. I was aware that I was observing, which is called the witness consciousness in Easter Philosophies,so felt quite safe and even OK even though I seemed to be in emotional pain and was suffering.. Gradually these feelings began to dissolve as a kind of Grace descended on me and I saw what I was doing to promote it, and also the when, why and how I had created it in the first place along time ago. It is important to drop our ego defences if we want the truth, as the ego is a trickly little fella and can bamboozle us.
There is so much out there in cyber space re what you are teaching and some great interviews to help people on the way. The only true teaching comes from a direct inner experience which most people are too much in fear of to even contemplate.
I do think there is a need for all of us, and teachers and so called gurus to be very much alert as to whether our ego is seeking aggrandisement which it can justify with a need to `save` people. There are no true saviours outside of ourselves , in the end we have to be our own saviou until we find out there is no one and nothing to save. Thank you for your post
I really can’t find the words to say how really I admire you Mr. Morty.
This is exactly what I’ve been trying to do the last couple of days every time I had negative feelings. I’ve been practicing your method for two weeks and have made the decision that I want to put it into use on a day-to-day basis every time I get overwhelmed by this cloud of negativity and I was successful to some extent, specially when I saw the events and feelings from the perspective of an observer, but I was in need of clear steps to follow when this episode comes in order to dissolve the negative feelings entirely. I’ve been thinking about the most effective way to do it since then, and now after reading your post, I got all the peaces of the puzzle in place, like if you are sitting with me and answering all my questions. I think this will be a really effective practice for me, and anyone for that matter, to overcome suffering whenever it happens.
Thank you very much.
Morty you are a woncerful and giving soul and those that have read your articles or e-mails know this. You have made a differance in more peoples lives than you think. Many that have learned from you pass their knowledge on to family or friends or colegues and through them to countless others. This way you have helped and will carry on helping albeit unknowingly so be happy in this knowledge.
Thank you for being super you.
Fantastic blog Morty, the lefkoe believe elimination process has changed my life such much and I continue like you to work on my limiting believes every day and I do see a dramatic change in me for the better. I have got rid of so many toxic believes that has held me back I am in such a better place since I started working with the lefkoe process nearly 11 months ago. I’m 35 now and hope at 75 I’m still using this daily so I can enjoy my life to the max! Thank you and Shelly so much for the work you continue to do its truly amazing.
Thanks for taking us through the steps Morty. The step I would normally have most difficulty with is identifying the time of the onset of the bad feeling and consequently the thoughts I was having at that time. Is this just a question of being more aware of myself or is there anything else I can do to make this easier.
Hi Leila,
It just takes practice. The more you look for the events and meaning that have led to emotions, the easier it will be to find them and dissolve the occurrings.
I’m sure it will get easier for you with time.
Love, Morty
Hi Morty
Thank you for sharing this.
It has helped me articulate and define a pattern around how we / I can sabotage ourselves / myself – just to be absolutely clear! – and outlined a process to deal with it.
I’ve concluded that it never goes away (Ridley Scott called it his ‘Black Dog’ days), and actually if you recognise and learn how to manage them, our negative feelings about ourselves do have the possibility of a positive outcome – drawing our attention and awareness to things that merit it, as part of our growth as human beings. The path to a life with more meaning is inevitably going to involve facing up to our own ‘ghosts’ that I believe we all carry as human beings, as part of our history. Also the disappointment is greater if we don’t come up to our own personal aspirations. If we didn’t have these setbacks I believe we would be in danger of becoming removed, complacent and arrogant, especially important if we are involved in helping others with their journey.
Wow, terrific analysis and article again Morty! This is it! This is what it’s all about indeed…. thanks
Hi Morty,
thanks for that bold and couragous article. This is exactly what I have to teach my 6 year old daughter who is having a hard time right now learning to ride the school bus on her own.
So there you have your impact.
You think this is a small impact?
Yeah, but you don’t know her, I do and I think this will have a major impact on the world. ;-) Ok, I might be a little bit biased.
Next, “Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.” (Napoleon Hill)
One benefit could be that your realized that what you do in spreading the word, is not getting the best results. Now you have the chance to start thinking about that. How can you improve it? What else can you do? Are you a bit ahead of people, so they don’t get how you could help them?
What about doing videos where you film yourself working with a client? Put them on TV, youtube, dailymotion etc. Infomercials on TV. Hire a good copywriter to make the connection between your product and the real market, i.e. what people are actually looking for.
Gotta run, thanks again.
Karl
PS: I think that’s the main point, people are not looking for your help, for they don’t know that they should be looking for it. Only a few on the self-growth plane are interested in that sort of advancement. How can you make it obvious for the common man that he could and should have a better life?
Spot on Karl. The only reason I got the “self growth plane” a couple yrs ago was after a breakup and I was off my rocker.
Morty, great piece and excellent work as always.
Thank you Morty for showing yourself in this personal way… I can really feel you and your passion to contribute to the better of the lifes of people.
As I once told a group of my students…….”you must get to a point in life where you care enough not to care.”
Jeff Dun I love your comment.
Excellent comment Jeff, Bravo!
My new quote of the day, thanks :D
I love you too, Morty c:
I am certain that one day, the popularity of The Lefkoe Method will rise exponientially, everyone in the world will know about it and you will be one of the most important characters in human history.
I’ll restate my point by telling you this, one of the best books I’ve ever read was about a anthropologist who studied cultures. He talked about a primitive culture who only worked as hard as they had to to sustain life. They spent the majority of the time they had loving their children and families and creating art. What he noticed is they were not only healthy but happy and lived longer than average lives. You know what that told me ? They didn’t waste their lives on anything other than what was really important, primarily because their minds were not filled with useless information that this culture is so fond of. Their minds had not been poisoned by bad thinkers.
May I ask you, Thomas, who is this anthropologist and which is that culture you talked about? It’s very interesting. Thank you. Thank you, Morty, I really appreciate your work. Good luck to you all, people, on getting to know yourselves.
funny that my name is Thomas as well. Anyways, I read a similar story through my medical anthropology class during College. I had to sell the book to pay the bills unfortunately, but I do remember about the tribe being in New Guinea. The anthropologist had gone to the tribe once, before the french colonization of the island, and 10 years later afterwards. Indeed, the tribe’s focus was on their families, their well being, oh and sometimes work lol. And after the french colonized and the anthropologist returned, they introduced the concept of time, church, and order. Everyone wore watches and were pressed to stick to a strict time schedule, and violence rates increased and the life expectancy decreased as well.
I find it interesting to look at; What I took away from it was that over stimulation was the issue. I’m recently getting over video game addiction and I’ve noted how more creative and free the mind can be if you just let yourself be bored. Sit in your room and turn off all the music and TV’s and cell phones. After awhile your mind will remember how to daydream and you’ll be in your own happy little world for awhile :)
You saw it too. lol, good for you Thomas. What always fascinated me was the self help industry itself. The only reason anyone would buy into it is that they listened to the lies in the first place. Stuff like you need this or that to be happy and none of it is true. In fact all the stuff thats going on in the masters of the secret industry reminds me of the story of chicken little.
After listening to it for awhile eventually you “wake up” and think about whats really important, and how do you really want to spend the rest of your life. How hard do you really want to work ? Success is a concept, and when your gone, no one will give any credence to your having been here.
It may have been bateson. I’ll have to dig that book out of the attic. There are cultures even in this day and age that are similar, lol. What most people forget that everything that exists on the planet today, especially in this “civilized culture” was made up, and there is absolutely no truth to any of it. Where people go wrong is they buy it as truth. I think life is just too damn short to do anything you don’t like doing, so why lie to yourself ??????
if you didn’t want to go to work then maybe you should have listened to your inner wisdom in the first place. I don’t know how many people I’ve met who somehow convinced themselves that the work they do is significant and that it matters, but in the end nothing you do really matters one iota.