Last fall I conducted a one-hour tele-seminar in which I answered questions I had been sent about beliefs. I thought I would devote this week’s blog post to answering a few of the most common questions I received.
Question: Once you have eliminated a belief, what does one need to do to move forward and leave their dysfunctional behavior patterns behind?
Answer: In a word, nothing. Once you have eliminated all the beliefs (there is rarely only one) that cause any given behavioral or emotional problem, the problem just dissolves and there is nothing more you have to do.
Question: How critical is it to identify the origin of a belief correctly, and how accurately does one need to identify it?
Answer: Our experience is that you do need to find the real source of a belief in order for the Lefkoe Belief Process (LBP) to be effective in eliminating the belief. For example, if you think the source of a belief is experiences you had in school, when the real source is interactions with your parents, the belief might not be eliminated. Why?
Remember that in the process you are asked: Imagine being a child and observing the events that led to the belief. Doesn’t it seem as if you can see (the belief)?
For the belief to go away for visual people, you need to get that what you’ve spent a lifetime thinking you saw in those events, you never really did see. If you truly can see something, then it really is there. The trick is to realize that you didn’t see what you thought you saw. The belief (in other words, the meaning you gave the events) exists only in your mind, not out there in the world to be seen.
If you mistakenly choose other events that aren’t really the source, you still will think you saw (the belief) in interactions with your parents and the belief will still be there.
For people who are predominantly emotionally kinesthetic and “felt” the belief instead of seeing it, they need to get that the events didn’t make them feel (the belief); it was the meaning they gave those events. Again, if you have the wrong source, this part of the LBP might not work.
More often than not, a belief is formed from the meaning we give to a pattern of events, such as the way mom and dad reacted when you didn’t live up to their expectations or the fact that mom and dad weren’t around very much. Not the one time you remember dad yelling or mom not being home one afternoon.
There is no way to know for sure if you have found the “real” source of a belief. One test is whether or not it feels true for you that a repeated pattern of events led you to form the belief. Another is that you need to be able to answer yes to the question: Wouldn’t most people have formed the belief you did in those same circumstances?
In other words, the events must be a logical source for a given belief.
Question: When going through the process of eliminating beliefs, I have a hard time with the concept of ‘seeing’ the belief. I usually don’t think I saw it; it’s more like I felt it. So sometimes beliefs don’t go away because I don’t get it. Is there a way around this?
Answer: I provided part of the answer to this question in my answer to the prior question.
Emotionally kinesthetic people generally do not “see” the belief in the situations that led to the belief being formed, they “felt” it.
The end of the Lefkoe Belief Process has a section specifically for people who are kinesthetic, so if you don’t think you saw the belief, just skip that question and go to the next step of the Process (the events that led you to form the belief have no meaning) and then finish the Process. If you complete the LBP, the belief will be eliminated.
Question: How do you apply the technique
Answer: Most people cannot do it by themselves; a few can. Try it; it might work for you.
There are at least three reasons most people can’t do it.
First, without a lot of training it is hard for most people to identify all the beliefs and conditionings that cause any given problem. And if you don’t find and eliminate all of them, the problem might lessen, but not be eliminated totally.
Second, even when you know the belief you want to eliminate, it can be tricky to find alternate interpretations for certain beliefs and sources.
Third, most problems can be eliminated by eliminating the beliefs and conditionings that cause it. From time to time it is necessary to use additional processes that eliminate negative “senses” (of oneself, life, etc.) that were conditioned early in life or negative expectations, where one is conditioned to expect negative things to occur. You need to be trained to use those processes.
After helping thousands of people eliminate tens of thousands of beliefs, I find that I am able to walk myself through the LBP or the Lefkoe Stimulus Process (to eliminate conditionings) some of the time, but when I discover a new problem and I’m not sure what beliefs or conditionings cause it, I still need a trained Lefkoe Method facilitator to help me.
Question: Is it possible for limiting beliefs to have not originated with your parents? Is it possible for limiting beliefs to have formed in adulthood, say after romantic disappointment? If so, how does one locate the source of the limiting belief?
Answer: Almost all negative self-esteem beliefs are formed through interactions with parents during the first five or six years of life. We form many other beliefs later in life when we encounter new situations.
We form beliefs about school in school, politics as we start reading and hearing about it, and romantic relationships as we start having them.
How do you find the source of beliefs formed later in life? Training and a lot of experience.
Question: I think the biggest belief I have that keeps me from transformation is that I can’t do it – I don’t have what it takes to follow though.
Answer: That’s possible, but this is an example of how it can be tricky to identify all the relevant beliefs that cause a problem.
You might believe I don’t have what it takes to follow through, but what beliefs would you have to have to have formed that one? Probably many, including I’m not good enough, Nothing I do is good enough, I’m inadequate, I’m powerless, and I’m not capable.
In other words, there are probably a bunch of beliefs that led you to not follow through, and now you believe you can’t follow through. You have to find and get rid of all those earlier beliefs too.
Question: One of the biggest roadblocks is identifying the core belief that is holding me back. I come up with a lot of peripheral beliefs. What is the best way to determine what is the core belief that needs to be changed?
Answer: As far as we are concerned, there is no “the core belief.” There are almost always many core (self-esteem) beliefs and many other beliefs causing the problem you want to get rid of.
NOTE: We’re offering another tele-seminar answering your questions about beliefs on August 13, from 6:00-7:00 Pacific Time. For information and to submit a question, please click on https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/357775698
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If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using The Lefkoe Method, go to htp://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one limiting belief free.
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Copyright © 2009 Morty Lefkoe
Morty,
How would I go about becoming a Lefkoe facilitator?
Thanks,
Jonathan.