Podcast: Play in new window | Download
What if there was one principle about human feelings that would enable you to control your own experience of life?
Well, there is, and here is the principle: The meaning you give to what happens to you totally determines your reaction to what happens to you. One meaning can lead to upset and suffering; another meaning of the same event can lead to excitement, challenge, and happiness.
Take a moment and think about this. … Because events in the world have no inherent meaning, when you give meaning to events it seems as if your meaning (how the event is occurring to you) is what is actually happening. In fact, however, your occurring exists only in your mind.
This very important principle is relevant in two ways.
Our meaning creates our beliefs
First, all of our beliefs about ourselves, others, and life itself are nothing more than the meaning we have given to meaningless events. I’m not good enough is the meaning we have given to parental criticism or dissatisfaction with what we do as a child. Relationships are difficult is the meaning we have given to our parents arguing all the time or to our first couple of unpleasant relationships. Life is difficult is the meaning we have given to difficult childhood experiences where we and our family struggled a lot. Etc.
So our anxiety, procrastination, concern with the opinion of others, lack of confidence, difficulties in relationships, stress, etc. are all primarily the result of beliefs: the meanings we gave earlier in our lives to meaningless events. (Conditionings also play a role.)
Our meaning determines how reality occurs to us
Second, the meaning we give events determines how they occur for us at the moment. One meaning can lead to a positive occurring; another meaning can lead to a negative occurring. Unfortunately, most of the time most of us never distinguish between what is actually happening and the meaning we are giving what is happening.
For example, your boss asks you a question. If you give it the meaning that your boss is dissatisfied with you, you likely will feel anxious or angry. If you give the same question the meaning that your boss is just trying to get some information, you will feel calm and provide the information.
Another example: Your spouse asks you to do something. If you give it the meaning that he is asking because he doesn’t trust you to do it on your own, you will be angry or upset. If you give it the meaning that she is just telling you what she wants, then you probably will feel nothing at all.
Meanings that turn into beliefs are generalizations about ourselves, people, and life that stay with us forever, unless we eliminate them. Meanings that determine how an event occurs for us disappear as soon as we stop thinking about the event.
When people eliminate all the beliefs that cause a given behavioral or emotional problem, the problem disappears. People who have done this have reported profound changes in their lives. And yet the changes reported by people who have learned how to dissolve their negative occurrings and be left either with just the unvarnished facts or a positive occurring are even more profound.
Here are just a few stories from people in recent Lefkoe Occurring Courses to show how powerful it is to be able to control the meaning you give events.
“Occurrings dissolve instantly”
I’ve found that almost all of my occurrings dissolve instantly this week, that there was nothing to really stop and work through except for the one incident above. I feel much lighter emotionally now and a LOT less reactive – I find myself looking at situations fairly dispassionately now with a little bit of curiousity as to what may be going on. LOVE IT!!
–Renee Maxfield
“I’ve continued to shift my occurrings fairly quickly”
This week I’ve continued to shift my occurrings fairly quickly. If something happens that triggers a negative feeling, I’m able to distinguish that it is due to my occurring. I then look at alternate meanings, preferably positive ones, and am able to shift to feeling pretty neutral or sometimes more positive. Practicing this technique definitely puts me into the creator space, where I know that I’m creating my reality at every moment.
–Raechel Morgan
“In the past I would have been angry. This time, nothing.”
I experience negative occurrings less frequently now and those that do arise are often removed with little or no conscious effort. Here are some examples from this week’s experiences.
My body is shocked by an unexpected loud noise caused by someone dropping a heavy object. In the past I would have been angry. This time, nothing. No occurring. No emotion. Just awareness of the noise and the bodily sensation. Pleased by this I take the chance to put in place a positive occurring – I’m getting good at this.
I’m about to buy the latest igadget when the occurring that is pushing me to do so, the sense that it is a must have, just dissolves leaving me easily able to make the more reasonable decision to not buy. (The ability to dissolve occurrings and the habit of dissolving ones that aren’t useful provide great protection against increasingly sophisticated and manipulative marketing strategies)
—Robert Macfarlane
“It has made my life a lot easier”
So much has happened with my husband and our relationship. He is very negative about everything and is feeling powerless. His eyes are going bad and his walking is very bad as well. He feels his control is gone.
–Hilda Fogel
You can learn to do what these people have done. Learn how to control the meaning you give to meaningless events and you control your experience of life.
Please share below your thoughts and questions on how, by changing the meaning you give events, you can control your experience of life.
For information about my next Lefkoe Occurring Course, where you learn how to use the Lefkoe Occurring Process to dissolve your occurrings and your negative feelings, please check out: http://occurringcourse.com/discover.
For information about eliminating 19 of the most common limiting beliefs and conditionings, please checkout: http://recreateyourlife.com/naturalconfidence.
These weekly blog posts also exist as podcasts. Sign up for the RSS feed or at iTunes to get the podcasts sent to you weekly.
If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to htp://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one negative belief free.
copyright © 2011 Morty Lefkoe
I’m not that much of a internet reader to
be honest but your sites really nice, keep it up!
I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back down the road.
All the best
I am actually glad to glance at this weblog posts which consists of tons of valuable
facts, thanks for providing these data.
It’s very straightforward to find out any topic on net as compared to textbooks, as I found this piece of writing at this site.
Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the
book in it or something. I think that you can do with a few
pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than
that, this is magnificent blog. A great read. I’ll definitely be back.
This is actually a fantastic web site, many thanks just
for this. I would to help yahoo with regard to a number of working hours to learn
this kind of set.
My spouse and i detest whenever when I search engines designed for articles or reviews that will analyze
My partner and i normally come across useless articles
along with significant amounts of unsolicited mail.
An individual plainly obtain caution involving almost all the junk e-mail
in addition to hold your web site clean up plus high-quality.
Do you really have methods for my own personal website?
It’s remarkable to go to see this web site and reading the views of all mates concerning this piece of writing, while I am also eager of getting familiarity.
Highly energetic blog, I loved that bit. Will there be
a part 2?
Hi,
Glad you liked the post.
I’ve written several blog posts on happiness. Search on the right for that term and check out some of my other posts.
Love, Morty
Wow! At last I got a weblog from where I can genuinely
obtain valuable facts concerning my study and knowledge.
I am genuinely grateful to the holder of this site who has shared this
wonderful piece of writing at at this place.
Great blog here! Also your site loads up fast!
What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate
link to your host? I wish my website loaded up as quickly as yours lol
A person necessarily help to make significantly posts I might state.
This is the first time I frequented your web page and to this point?
I surprised with the analysis you made to create
this particular publish incredible. Great task!
I do not even understand how I stopped up here, but I believed this put up was
once good. I don’t recognize who you’re however definitely you are going to a
famous blogger if you happen to are not already. Cheers!
Please let me know if you’re looking for a writer for your blog. You have some really great articles and I feel I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d
love to write some content for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine.
Please blast me an email if interested. Thank
you!
Hi Leandro,
Thanks for the offer. I do them all myself.
Love, Morty
Very good blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers?
I’m hoping to start my own site soon but I’m
a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress
or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m completely confused .. Any recommendations? Thanks!
Excellent post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed!
Extremely helpful info specifically the last part :) I
care for such info much. I was seeking this particular information
for a long time. Thank you and best of luck.
Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the pictures on this blog loading?
I’m trying to figure out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Photos just loaded quickly and completely.
Sorry you are having difficulties. Try a different browser.
Love,Morty
Hi there! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any problems with hackers?
My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing a few months
of hard work due to no data backup. Do you have any methods to stop hackers?
Do you mind if I quote a few of your posts as long as
I provide credit and sources back to your weblog?
My blog is in the very same area of interest as yours
and my visitors would definitely benefit from some of the
information you provide here. Please let me know if this okay with you.
Regards!
Please feel free to quote from any of my blog posts. Just give credit and a link to the original post.
Thanks for your interest in our work.
Love, Morty
I like what you guys are usually up too. This kind of clever work and coverage!
Keep up the awesome works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll.
Asking questions are truly fastidious thing if you are not understanding something fully, however this article provides good understanding
even.
Hello it’s me, I am also visiting this web site daily, this web site is truly good and the viewers are in fact sharing nice thoughts.
It is appropriate time to make a few plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I desire
to counsel you few attention-grabbing issues or advice.
Perhaps you can write subsequent articles relating
to this article. I wish to read more things about it!
Hi,
I’ve written many articles on similar topics. Go to the top of this page and click on the link, Table of Contents, to see the titles of all my other posts.
Thanks for your interest.
Love, Morty
I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your blogs really nice,
keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back later. All the best
Quality articles or reviews is the secret to invite the viewers to pay a
quick visit the web page, that’s what this web site is providing.
Today, I went to the beach front with my kids. I found a sea shell
and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed.
There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely
off topic but I had to tell someone!
Excellent blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What web
host are you using? Am i allowed to have a affiliate link with your host?
Only when my site loaded as fast as yours lol Wow, amazing blog structure!
How long did you get blogging for? you make blogging look easy.
The whole look of your family site is great, as well as the information!
I’m unsure where you’re delivering your information, but good topic.
I need to spend some time learning considerably
more or knowing more. Thank you for magnificent
info I have been previously interested in this information in my
mission. You actually insure that it must be seem quite easy jointly along with your presentation
however find this matter to be really something which I do
think I’d never understand. Seems too complicated and very broad inside my situation. I’m looking forward for the
upcoming post, I’ll make sure you get used to it! I’ve been
browsing online beyond three hours today, yet I never found any fascinating page like yours.
It’s pretty worth more than enough during my position. I believe, if all webmasters and bloggers made beneficial content while you did, the web could be much more useful than you ever have. I love your wordpress theme, wherever do you get it from? This blog won’t make an appearance appropriately inside my
small droid – you may wanna be sure to fix that Audio started playing at any time
I opened this site, so irritating! I believe the advertisements caused my browser to resize,
you might desire to put that by yourself blacklist.
I recently now added this blog to my rss reader, great stuff.
Cannot get enough!
It’s going to be finish of mine day, but before ending I am reading this fantastic post to improve my experience.
Hurrah! In the end I got a blog from where I be able to in fact
take valuable data regarding my study and knowledge.
I have been exploring for a little bit for any high-quality articles
or blog posts on this sort of house . Exploring in Yahoo I eventually stumbled upon this site.
Studying this info So i am glad to express that I’ve an incredibly good uncanny feeling I found out exactly what I needed. I such a lot undoubtedly will make sure to do not disregard this web site and provides it a glance regularly.
I’d been looking through several of your content with this website plus i think this website is very informative! Retain adding.
I have to admit that you’ve done a superb job utilizing this. Additionally, the blog loads very fast in my situation on Firefox. Outstanding Blog! Would you like to mind merely pages and use a couple of the posts provided Presented credit and sources returning to your webpage? My blog using the similar niche as yours and my users would definitely make use of a few of the information you provide here. Please cause me to aware once this okay along. Thanks!
Hi,
Please feel free to use parts of my blogs with links back to the full blog as long as you give appropriate credit and copyright information.
Thanks for your interest in my work.
Love, Morty
Thank you for this insightful nugget of wisdom. I’m going to try to apply this technique to reduce the stress that I am experiencing from “difficult people” and also to stop buying up every “must have” in my life.
hi Morty,
i have done your confidence course wich has helped me somewhat.
i mainly ordered your course to help with anxiety wich it has not hepled.
your comment, So our anxiety, procrastination, concern with the opinion of others, lack of confidence, difficulties in relationships, stress, etc. are all primarily the result of beliefs: the meanings we gave earlier in our lives to meaningless events.
i really don’t agree with your comment, in my case mine are primarily physical ,when we are sick we don’t like to be around people(social anxiety)etc.
I just wanted to say it is not just our beliefs or coonditioning from the past that are affacting our emotions. it is our bodies telling us there is somthing wrong and we need to look at all the possibilities.
I have tried this many many times and nothing happens? What is wrong with me??
You know Morty, today I was reading a special edition of a newspaper where the main topic was happinness. It included many pieces of advice from different people on how to be happy. And I gotta tell you: all of it seemed USELESS to me.
Had I not known you and your work, I might have bought into such nonsense as:
*You just gotta cope with the negativity of your job
*Relax and imagine you’re in a pretty beach
*Suck it up and smile
*Listen to music
Most people assume that stress is a fact in the world, and they advice you to ignore it, even though it only exists in your mind. That’s like telling a frog to ignore the mustache on its face or cover it up with a scarf.
I’m glad I read your teachings.
Hey Monty,
What you wrote is so true! Thanks!
There is a certain region in the country that have an idiom:”You know what men are like” the saying of it is usualy done with down-cast eyes, drooping shoulders and often accompanied with a sigh. I once chaleenged this by saying “No, I don’t know what men are like I am a man and I would like to know how we appear to you.” There was utter confusion on the speaker’s face, her eyes darted around seeking help from the rest of the people and the subject was changed. I was not popular. But to me this is one of those beliefs that we have where the event that occur and the meaning that we attach is tied up in a package so neatly with a pink ribbon that to us it is virtually impossible to seperate the one from the other. When asked it is difficult to explain it is just a “knowing.”
Thanks for helping us unpack our knowings and living our lives more consciously, change our lives and managing it better.
Thank you so much! Your articles have generated a major shift in my thinking. Healing and empowering!
Morty,
I am unable to distinguish the meaning of events from what happened. I realize it is something I should do, but can’t seem to figure out how to do it! I do suffer from anxiety, depression, stress, lack of self-confidence, worry about what others think, etc. I started going through the “I’m not good enough” presentation, but I can’t identify or remember relevant incidents from my childhood, so stopped. Could this feeling have come from my 30-yr marriage? Please help!
Hi JMG,
Very few people are able to distinguish between reality and how it occurs for us. That is the purpose of my Occurring Course, to help you make that distinction and then dissolve the occurrings.
I’m riot good enough almost always comes form childhood events with parents. There is no way to know the source of your beliefs without talking to you.
Love, Morty
This was an awesome article.
Thanks.
Morty this was great. I have eleminated the “I’M not good enough belief which was leading me to procrastanate at a time when I really need to put the petal to the metal in my business and in my church work. Thanks a bunch for make this avaliable. My beliefs were keeping me from doing the things I needed to do inorder to be success and have the money to live the kind of life I want. Usually this kind of information is not avalable so its a vicious circle. By giving this away you made it possible for me to get what I needed to move forward. THANKS A BUNCH.