I’d like to slightly modify a story we’ve all heard before in order to enable you to get greater value from the many personal growth products and services.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat fish today but not have any fish for future meals. If you teach a man to fish, he will be able to eat fish forever as long as he is willing to catch the fish.
There is a third possibility that is not often talked about: If you transform the man’s diet (for instance, have him become a vegetarian) so that he doesn’t eat fish any more, his problem of not having fish to eat is solved forever.
Let’s apply the principle of this story to the rash of personal growth products and services we are offered daily.
- Giving a man a fish is equivalent to doing something that will make people feel better. Workshops that result in participants leaving “on a high” are a good example of this. There is nothing wrong with seeking and enjoying products and services that merely provide a good experience at the moment, but it is important to realize that such “high” experiences usually have no lasting impact.
- Teaching a man to fish is equivalent to giving people information, which if they used, would improve their lives. Workshops and books that provide people with useful information are a good example of this. There clearly is some “take-away” value, but the material must be used to be useful.
- Transforming a man so he doesn’t need fish any more because he no longer eats fish is equivalent to eliminating the source of, or transcending, people’s behavioral or emotional problems. For example, when you eliminate the beliefs and conditionings that cause procrastinating, feeling anxious, or worrying about what others think of you, those problems disappear. No further action is required to achieve these benefits.
What’s been your experience with all three types?
Most people who are reading this probably have attended a workshop or read a book that promised a transformation, which gave you the feeling of being “transformed at the time,” but then resulted in you feeling disappointed when the “high” wore off a few days later and there were no permanent improvements in your life.
Most of you probably have attended some type of course or read some book that offered some really useful information. This material spelled out in detail how to improve your relationships (like my blog post last week) or become successful. The information truly is valuable because most people will achieve what the courses and written material promise if you implement what they teach.
Lasting change
Relatively rare are spiritual practices or belief-eliminating programs that actually transform you permanently, so that thereafter you deal with life differently and feel differently about specific situations.
The third category of personal growth material is not inherently better than the second. Both the second and third types of personal growth material can make a profound difference in your life, but there is still a significant difference between the two. And in order for you to get the most value from what you spend your time and money on, you should be clear about the difference.
Before you purchase material that teaches you how to do something, make sure you are committed to fully implementing the information. Not using it at all or stopping before the full benefit is achieved will result in a lot of frustration and wasting your money. If you are committed to using what you learn, then books like Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles, Marci Shimoff’s Happiness For No Reason, John Gray’s many Mars-Venus books on relationships, and any of Ivan Misner’s books on networking. are invaluable. My weekly blog posts are another example of the second type of personal growth material.
Certain meditation classes, workshops with people like Andrew Cohen (founder of Enlighten Next, and sessions where you use The Lefkoe Method to eliminate beliefs and conditionings (and create yourself as the creator of your life) are examples of the third type of personal growth material. You leave these experiences with a different experience of who you really are, there are permanent changes in what you do and how you feel, and your life is demonstrably improved from then on.
There is value in each of these three types of personal growth offerings, but the value is very different. Be clear what you are looking for and then make sure that what you purchase provides you what you want.
What do you think about the three different types of personal growth products and services? Please write your comments below.
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If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to htp://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one negative belief free.
For information about eliminating 23 of the most common limiting beliefs and conditionings, which cause eight of the most common problems in our lives, and get a separate video of the WAIR? Process, please check out: http://recreateyourlife.com/naturalconfidence.
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copyright ©2011 Morty Lefkoe
Type 3 teachings I have come across (other than the LefKoe method) that have successfully result in personal transformations for me:
– The teachings of Lester Levinson.
– The teachings of Abraham.
– The teachings of Ekhart Tolle
Your analogy made me laugh out loud! And it really fits, too. I had spent a lot of time and energy “fishing”. It had kept me alive and growing, but taking the next step with your method has changed me at a much deeper level. I am moving into the 2nd year of a new business, and my mental outlook has gone from determination with dread, to excitement and confidence. I am NOT a failure! The weird thing is, I have not failed at hardly anything in my whole life. Two other successful businesses, 28 years of marriage, raised two great sons–homeschooled them through elementary school and they have graduated/are graduating with honors from college now. But that limiting belief was there through it all.
I spent a lot of time learning to overpower and ignore that belief. Now it is gone. Thank you, Morty!
Morty,
I believe I understand your explanation, but the analogy is throwing me off. The fish represents sustenance, which a person needs on an ongoing basis. If we continue to hand out sustenance, then people can become addicted to the fish monger and will never learn to take care of themselves. But if you try and teach someone how to fish and they have a belief that they can never be a good fisherman/woman, then the teacher and student will spend a lot of time/cost and make very little progress. However, if the limiting belief about fishing is eliminated first, then learning how to fish becomes very rewarding.
Paraphrasing what someone else said on one of your blogs. First, realize you are the creator. Second, eliminate beliefs that are holding you back. Third, set your intent and focus on it.
New to your blog.
Thomas
Hi Thomas,
Thanks for taking the time to post. And thanks for your interest in our work.
If you eliminate beliefs first (the third type of material), then behavior change occurs naturally and effortlessly.
Love, Morty
Morty,
I searched a long time for the third type of transformation. Since I was low-income, I bought books at first. I’d read them and think “This is it.” I used self-hypnosis as well to eliminate a very specific problem which was the first time I felt that transformative feeling. As the years went by, I bought more books and cassette tapes, then DVDs. The problem with so many self-development books is that there is nothing specific to do-Do A, then B, and C will happen. I’ve spent time in the first and second categories, but it always felt like something was missing. I’ve done journalling as well. Along with the tools of the Occurring Course, I am working with Afformations as well as discovering what works with me personally. Next month, I am going to follow Dr. D’Adamo’s Genotype Teacher Diet. Since eliminating beliefs and conditionings and using the LOP, I find I can “stick” to my own success programs as well as take away what works for me with others and use them.
Love and Light,
Lauren
Hi Lauren,
I’m thrilled our work has made such a difference in your life. And congratulations on your commitment to transform your life.
Love, Morty
Hey Morty,
I came up with the same realization as you. Many read a book and feel good for a while and may even take action, but the the change is temporary and short lived.
I think that is why I am not a big fan of concerts and other temporary high events.
I like the idea of permanent change myself.
Hi Marty,
Thanks for the quick reply :) Of course, I’ll give you credit and link to your page. I’ll let you know when it’s posted and transfer any interested people to you.
Warm regards
Kristin
Hi Marty,
thanks for that article – the argumentation seems very intriguing to me (though of course it’s not soo subtle you would not get the idea that of course the 3. version must be the most expensive one ;)).
Seriously, I think this approach is very helpful for a lot of people to make a good price/value decision – and be realistic about their expectations.
As you can see in my contact data I am blogging for mostly managers in GERMAN these days about innovation, leadership, change & personal growth.
I am pondering whether it would be a good idea to translate this article to German and post it as a guest post – would that maybe ok for you? Wishing you a week full of happy clients – Kristin from Bonn, Germany
Hi Kristin,
I don’t think there is any correlation between the type of material and price. In many cases the first type is the most expensive.
You certainly can translate the article into German and post for your readers. Just give me credit as the author.
Thanks for your interest in our work.
Love, Morty
Greetings Morty,
I like your analysis. However, a motivational problem I find is that I like fish. In fact, when I think of a diet that says I can never have fish again or I will not like the taste of fish again, I begin to resist. As crazy as it sounds that is the biggest problem in the self help world: we say we want to be healed, to be happy, to be free, but we truly only want a better version of the dream we already have, so when something comes along that will truly provide us with a new frame of reference of who we are, it is very scary, even if we say we want it. The devil we know is better than the devil we don’t – so to speak. At times, it is hard to figure out exactly what I do want. Anyway, I love your blogs (I do read them); I love your materials (I have used them and they do work on eliminating beliefs); I love your dedication and your heart (it inspires me); mostly, I love you.
Love,
James
Hi Morty, I read through the limiting belief list that you have, and these do not resonate with me. I have been the same path that you describe, but still, these reasons do not really fit me. I have an innate personal self confidence that has helped me survive through things that most people would not. I think it is because I have never been able to get the answer of – who I am – at the soul level. That and timing seem to be closer to the why of – why I haven’t been able to make any money the way I want to. In a moment of insight many years ago ( I was seeking the answers way back then), my son said to me – when you know who you are, you will know what you are here to do – The types of healers I have sought are the ones I thought could help me answer this question. So far no luck. How about you?
I don’t have the answer, but I listened to Harrison Klein and his “I AM” principles. If I understood him correctly, YOU decide what you and who you are. Whatever you put behind the phrase “I AM…”, that you are, as long as you consider it to be a command to the Universe in a sense of scientific prayer: and so it is. That is the true meaning of free will. If you are still looking for somebody to tell you, you haven’t still realized your full freedom I guess. And I would be kind of careful to allow others to tell me what I “am supposed to do here”. A healer who would give you this information would actually be acting against universal laws, wouldn’t he? It is up to you! What and who would you like to be? Please insert: I AM…
Hi Joseann and Lauren, I thank you for your direct reply. Frankly Joseann I did the I AM many years ago. It wasn’t the time for me to know. I did not ask anyone to ‘tell’ me who I am – at the soul level. I invite NO ONE to ‘tell’ me much of anything as that tends to create a dependancy relationship. I used the words ‘help me’ in my query, did you notice that? I referred to timing and something more etheral that were perhaps blocking me from the information I seek, rather than the standard list. So in fact I was seeking to know if his techniques work for other issues that are not on ‘the list’. Part of the question will come to be, how to identify what the block is and where it is located. For example is it physical, mental, emotional or spiritual? In which case – why? I have no doubt if the right question is asked, the answer will appear. Sometimes it takes a healer who has the ability to -ask the right question- not necessarily know the answer. Every answer to every question is fullly and completely ‘in the eyes of the beholder’ of the question . I fully realize that in fact all blocks may be created from some sort of fear base. However, it could also be the case that the timing hasn’t been right for me to know. Because when I know, I will act on it. Timing may or may not be a fear based thing. It’s a neutral.
Hi Daisy Lee,
I am not sure if I understood what you wanted to say. You wrote: “I have no doubt if the right question is asked, the answer will appear.”
So why don’t you ask the right question? It doesn’t take a healer, I guess, does it? You could look into access consciousness by Gary Douglas, I think they have a great bunch of questions to ask. And somewhere I read that asking “why” is not so good as it only gives you a reason why things are how they are. How about asking “how can I get out of this…” or something like that? And may be you could work on these beliefs with Morty’s help, that there must be a right timing for things?
“It wasn’t the time for me to know”
“However, it could also be the case that the timing hasn’t been right for me to know.”
Daisy Lee,
Morty has a “mantra”(the closest definition) that goes like this:
“I have thoughts, I am not my thoughts
I have feelings, I am not my feelings
I do things, I am not what I do
I am The Consciousness in which thoughts, feelings, and actions show up”
He does recommend you do this after eliminating several limiting beliefs; you might want to try his free belief eliminator whether you think something is a problem or not. It might lead you to what is really blocking you. Morty’s method is to lead you to who you are, not to provide you with answers as Joseann says. Another method is to ask questions: Afformations could help you get clear on this or one of Morty’s facilitators.
Love and Light,
Lauren