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For most of my life I didn’t want to be me. In fact, I was so unhappy being me that I wanted to be someone else. When I was in my twenties I wanted to be Fred Astaire, because I liked the light and joyful sense of life he projected when dancing on screen. Later in life I didn’t care who else I was as long as it wasn’t me.
During my twenties and thirties I contemplated suicide, evidence of how utterly miserable I was at that time.
Unless you have personally experienced depression it is hard to imagine how debilitating it is. It is all-encompassing and feels like being in a black hole from which there is no escape. Doing anything at all when you feel so hopeless and helpless is an effort. Sometimes washing the dishes was my major accomplishment of the day.
I was so afraid of being alone that I put pressure on my two former wives to not leave me, as a result of which I lost both of them. Like depression, being alone was more painful than I could bear.
Photo credit: worldislandinfo.com
Why am I telling you about how miserable I was for over half my life? Because so many people today feel the same way. And because none of those feelings are present in my life today.
I no longer want to be anyone else because I am thrilled with who I am and what I do. The depression and neediness disappeared many years ago and never resurfaced, even a little bit. I’ve had a blissful marriage to Shelly for almost 30 years. I live in the “creator” space most of the time, in other words, when I look inside I usually feel that there is nothing missing (although I still have goals, I am not attached to them), anything is possible, and I have no limitations. I rarely give meaning to events and when I do I am able to use the Lefkoe Occurring Process to dissolve the meaning in seconds. In other words, I am totally satisfied with my experience of life and don’t feel the need to change a thing.
Brittany was feeling hopeless
My daughter Brittany was upset the past weekend about an illness that no one has been able to diagnose—a condition that makes her tired, nauseous, and very emotional much of the time. She was starting to feel that it would never be diagnosed and cured, and that she would have to live with it forever.
So I described to her in detail how horrible my life had been for so many years and how it is today, as I’ve just told you.
I had this conversation with Brittany because I wanted her to realize that no matter how bad things might be right now, you can never make absolute predictions about the future. And I’m repeating the essence of my conversation with her to you, because no matter how difficult your life might have been so far, that doesn’t mean it can’t turn out to be exactly how you’ve hoped and dreamed it would be.
Even if no doctor has been able to diagnose Brittany so far, that doesn’t mean we won’t find one tomorrow. And even if all the personal growth courses and workshops haven’t given you the freedom and joy you’ve been seeking thus far, that doesn’t mean that there is nothing out there that ever will.
I’ve talked to a number of people recently who have given up on ever finding a way to get rid of the barriers to a happy and fulfilling life. After 20 or 30 years of sitting through one course after another, reading one book after another, and going to one therapist after another—none of which resulted in a real change—they feel as if nothing is ever going to work. And the despair that comes from concluding nothing will ever help them makes whatever problem they started with feel even worse.
My purpose for this blog post is for people whose perspective on life is: “I’d like to be truly happy but probably never will”—to shift to: “It is possible for my life to work—and if I never give up hope it will.”
Obviously I think The Lefkoe Method is one very effective solution. It worked for me and for tens of thousands of others. But regardless of what method eventually works for you, don’t ever give up hope that someday it will all turn out and you will achieve the happiness you’ve always imagined was possible. Don’t allow frustration to destroy your dreams.
I persevered, never gave up hope, and finally created the life I had hoped was possible … and you can too.
Please forward this to anyone you think it might help.
Please share below any comments you have on having the life you’ve always dreamed of.
These weekly blog posts also exist as podcasts. Sign up for the RSS feed or at iTunes to get the podcasts sent to you weekly.
If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to htp://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one limiting belief free.
To purchase a DVD program that I guarantee to help you significantly improve your confidence and also eliminate the major day-to-day problems that most people face, check out http://recreateyourlife.com/naturalconfidence.
copyright © 2010 Morty Lefkoe
Dear Mr. Lefkoe,
Thank you for your most inspiring words!!
just a short note..have the doctors checked your daughter for endometriosis ? only because when I was 17 I had similar symptoms and when they discovered what it was they did the necessary procedure and steps and I felt MUCH MUCH better.
Love & Light, Erin
Oops..iPhone typos….
“take the luck right Out of it is what I meant to say”. Also as I reread
My post I’m not sure “taking control of beliefs” is the most accurate wording. Maybe seeing/feeling the negative ones dissolve. That’s sort if how I experience it. Almost like
They never ever existed in the first place.
Thanks for the encouragement Jon. It sounds like you have been there. I hope I will be able to move into a whole new place, spiritually, soon.
Yes. Thank you Harold. I really believe strongly deep
In my core that you can do this. I dont know why, and yet I do. I know I don’t determine reality (ha…though I used
To have quite a big ego) but I’m so happy to find
More faith in my gut feelings, and Also to have discovered this work of Mortys that seems remarkably powerful. (personally I love that it’s been clinically tested since i can be a bit of a
Skeptic and have somewhat of a
Scientific background)
Hi Jon,
Thanks for taking the time to support Harold.
I know it is possible because I have done it myself.
Love, Morty
Thanks again to you Jon for your support. It helps to see people commenting with certainty that the Lefkoe Method is as powerful as promoted. I am empowered by your support.
And of course, Thanks to you Morty for making the program available to me. I am up to Belief 13. When I opened belief12 I let out a big sigh because I had been speaking the word “stupid” to myself for sometime now. I’m feeling better with each belief I eliminate. And I love Who am I really. I have thoughts, I am not my thoughts…I had been using those words to combat negativity but I’m finding that the negativity is not there so I just use them because they are so profound and enlightening. I am committed to finish the program and get myself back in the game to go the next step in my journey. Thank you very kindly sir for lighting my dark pathway. On to Belief 13.
Love Harold
Harold,
Good luck to you!
I have found this stuff to be quite helpful for me, along with some
Other things. I cannot be sure what works, but I will try anything, and have.
I believe you can be free of your depression with a nice confidence it will not return. That you can not
Just be ‘not unhappy’, but truly happy and joyful.
There is no need to give up all hope ever (though- unless to be quite deep about it- you give up hope and realize that right this moment you’re okay, no…good, no….so very peaceful)
Anyhow, sounds like you’ve tried a lot of stuff like I did. Hope I don’t said patronizing in my encouragement, I just really want to wish you to try something new, even in the darkest of
Moments. Think of how awesome it would be to help others! Good
Luck, and I know regaining control of your beliefs can take thenlu k right out of it.
-jon
At last! Someone who understands! Thanks for potnisg!
Dear Morty,
Thanks for your post on not giving up hope. I’ve been receiving your emails for almost a year along with a number of other healing modalities. At this writing I am very close to giving up hope for my life. I have tried many things to help me overcome depression but I seem to come right back to it. I spent most of the afternoon today with a knife in my hand. Then I had to pull myself up to go and attend a PTA meeting at my son’s school, where I am the President. I am out of work and have no income right now. I did have an interview for a job yesterday, so I put on my game face for a few minutes. I know it doesn’t make sense to feel the way I do but I do. What I would like to know is, would you be willing to barter in some way so that I could use the Lefkoe Method to help with the depression I feel?
Hi Harold,
Please call me at (415) 506-4472 and let’s see what we can work out.
I was terribly depressed for many years earlier in my life so I know how you feel … and I haven’t had anything resembling depression for a long time. It is possible to totally get rid of it.
There is an answer, I promise.
Thanks Morty, I will call you in the morning.
Your blog is so very important. This post helped me for today and I will try to keep thinking that I will never give up until I will find help with a physical problem I have. Thank you for your effort and time writing the blog posts.
Hi Morty,
Wow. Thank you for that post.
I’ve been through hard times where I told myself I didn’t know if I would make it…..and yet even that was not true. Deep inside I knew I would. What I called my heart told me there had to be an easier, more joyful, and permanent way.
Your type of work in one free video, helped me a lot! I’ll get the DVD’s. I hope too that you continue to report on research results. For me the most important research result would be some study that shows improvement, that last for a significant period of time, and is verifiable by others. While I know such studies are difficult, I think they are the only way to sort through the anecdotal evidence of thousands of techniques out there…from EFT, CT, The Work, Option, Sedona, and dipping your left pinky in lemonade twice a day.
I love that you are supporting this research. And it looks like the results are great. In the research on Public Speaking, I would love to hear of a follow up study, and find out that not just anticipatory anxiety was affected, but that many of them were much calmer public speakers for a year.
I’ve found as I try methods, there is an initial excitement that has proven to be illusory in some cases, and this can drive self-report that may not be exactly accurate. That said, you’re approach seems very promising and rational. And I’ll try it. I’m not giving up hope.
Love,
Jon
Hi Jon,
We did a six month follow up on the public speaking fear study and the fear had not returned. We also offer an unconditional lifetime guarantee on the public speaking program and have a return rate of only about 8% after five years and over six thousand customers. So I think it lasts!
We intend to do more research in the future.
Thanks for your interest in our work.
Love, Morty
Thank you. Done.
That’s plenty of evidence for me to continue this path!
It took me two years to get a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia from a rheumatologist. He also saw that I was low on DHEA and prescribed some for me.
I only recently found out about Fibromyalgia – I had never heard of it before, and no-one had mentioned it to me.
It creates a wide range of seemingly unrelated symptoms because of widespread inflammation in the body.
The main symptoms are pain and fatigue. Depression is just one of the symptoms, not the cause. Other possible symptoms, among the many, are a sore jaw, bruising easily, and memory problems.
Not knowing what’s wrong can make you so frustrated you want to cry. The symptoms can make you want to cry too.
Some of the medications I was on before, like painkillers and antidepressants (which I am off now) caused awful nausea. I was treating the symptoms the only way I knew how. Fibromyalgia can also cause nausea.
I don’t know if Brittany has tried this route. If not, it may be worth investigating.
I also hope this comment might help others who are grappling with these symptoms, and don’t know what’s wrong.
MR Lefkoe
Tell your daughter to check if she has candida
which is a mushroom that when overgrowth can make
some problems.
i love your posts
Loved this post! So much of it I could relate to. As I read it I couldn’t stop thinking about the book I just finished reading titled, “The Three Insights” by Tim Pond.. it too taught me to never give up hope and has helped me find my unique purpose in life. Great book for anyone going through depression. Thanks for your wonderful words.
Dear Morty thank you so much for your blog,I am am very sorry to hear about your daughters illness, without trying to sound forward, I can’t help feeling that her symptoms are an intolerance to something or a hormonal imbalance. It may be of use if you have not tried it already for her to keep a diary of the times she feels queasy, or very emotional incase there is a pattern. i myself had similar symptoms at one time only to find that it was down to birth control pills, and an intolerance of caffine. Much love alexis
ps. Dr. Teitelbaum is the medical director of the Fibro and Fatigue Centers.
Morty,
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. I remember from the time I graduated until I married, the hopelessness and depression I felt. Still, in the midst of the despair, I knew there had to be something better and it looks as though this is what sustained you also. At heart, I’m an optimist, yet the depression dragged me down and I felt like suicide was a valid option. Too chicken, I suppose. I “ran away” at one time when the negative pressure weighed me down. Took a bus trip across several states. At one point, I destroyed my ID and sat in a bus station rest room stall and swallowed twelve aspirin. Didn’t want to die; just wanted out of the darkness. Then, I returned to California, where I was living at the time and where my sister and BIL lived and talked to a therapist. Returned to Washington State. I wanted to give in and give up yet something inside me said, “No, it isn’t time.” At one point, I was on meds; hated them, made me feel floaty, and gave them up. Found a therapist-the best one I had-who validated my feelings. Kept looking and reading. Never gave up hope. Hope keeps the way open; hoplessness closes it down. And finding the belief eliminator on your website, then Natural Confidence, and the LOP…these are the hands up to me.
“In the midst of winter, I discovered within me an infinite summer.” and this. “Remember, Red, hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.” Andy Dufresne(Tim Robbins) in “Shawshank Redemption”
Love and Light to you and your daughter and anyone who sees it through the darkness,
Lauren
i have never given up hope that one day she will find me there are letters waiting for her if she ever looks for me
Hi Morty,
Oddly enough, I have been reflecting on the fact that the one thing I have had going for me during the darker phases of my past was that even though I didn’t know how to reverse the negativity I felt, I did believe that I would find a way someday.
That one hope or belief has led me to your ‘method’, and I can’t even begin to describe how dramatically my thoughts, feelings and behavior have changed over the past few weeks–without any effort on my part. If anyone out there feels like they just can’t stand the thought of trying ‘one more thing’, please try this. It really does work, and it’s amazing what a burden is lifted once these negative feelings are gone. It’s never too late. I’m in my fifties, and I feel like a brand-new person.
By the way, Morty, I have had my share of pernicious health problems; and sometimes undiagnosable conditions can be allergies–even though the symptoms aren’t always typical of allergies. You might find the following web site very helpful: naet.com. This protocol has helped me tremendously. Like you, the doctor who has come up with this treatment, started it by finding a solution to her own problem.
Cheers and have a great day!
Dina
Thanks, Dina. That helps me.
Morty, thank you for your wisdom. I, too had been caught in the warm brown mud of depression for years. Struggled out with a snare in chemical addiction and landed in a chronic pain illness. But, it is with hope that I live today. Abiding hope that massages and lifts my heart to recognize each day with my eyes as I wish to see it, recognizing the sky as I wish it to be. It is hope that each day builds my world for me, my hope that creates my universe.
Dear Morty, love your thoughts on so many things. Related to this is about a happy, healthy soul 106 years old who understands how to keep a song in her heart http://www.youtube.com/user/AliceTheFilm
Love and happiness to you and your daughter, Molly
Great video. Someone else sent me the link – touching. Someone who lives, despite all she has lived through, with much happiness, caring – in a world of music.
Molly,
Thanks so much for sharing this link. I cried when I watched and listened. Listening to music also helped me through despair. Alice is an amazing woman and truly inspiring. Love her laugh and think she is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever been privileged to hear and see. I’m looking forward to the movie.
Love and Light,
Lauren
Oh, I so relate to some of that. I am so glad you mentioned that even if you are using self-help products, many will not work for you.
I was in that position for many years and along with depression, the breakup of my marriage and the church I went to, and I was supposed to be an expert with all the material I read.
Thankfully, I persevered and here’s the hard line: If you are feeling low and struggling you must never give up. Yes, other people do NOT understand how hard it is but you have to keep going. I am now happily remarried to a woman who loves me to bits, I have a new daughter and have been designing products to help other people for the last few years. You can find them at http://www.personal-powerpack.com
I think the Lefkoe method is a great, great tool btw.
Doug Cartwright
Dear Morty,
Thank you for your touching and heartfelt words.
The challenge of depression is that it goes to work on the motivational and optimistic circuits aspects of the mind, and so people dealing with it are generally in pain and yet do not believe that they have the resources to move to a happier state.
So I think that it’s important for people who live with depression and other chronic mental and physical illnesses to know that there is hope. They can find a way to transcend their current life situation and move into a space of greater wellness and happiness, as demonstrated by examples like you and other people who have recovered.
-Jack
DEar Morty,
Yes, a lot of the time I dont want to be me. But it is getting better
I have received a lot of help from you, but also from EFT, which can truly help both physical and psychological problems. I most sincerely suggest it for your daughter. Its mysterious, but is often used as a last resort, with remarkable success. And it truly cannot harm – you just tap.
There are many great sites and practitioners.
I also know about un- and mis-diagnosis – my husband has a disease which was not diagnosed for 20 years.
I do really feel for your daughter, and will be tapping for her.
I used to have the same symptoms as your daughter and it turned out to be ME/ post viral fatigue syndrome, which they can’t diagnose other than to rule out other possibilities. I used the lightning process on it and got cured but do your own research. Good luck :-)
Yes she may have ME/CFS/CFIDS but that does not explain the underlying problem–which can be Lyme, tick-borne coinfections such as babesiosis, gut problems such as candidiasis (intestinal candida), chronic viruses, leaky gut syndrome, and hypothyroidism. She may also have hormone imbalances from these things and/or malabsorption of food leading to nutritional deficiencies. Morty, please take her to a Fibro and Fatigue Center (fibroandfatigue.com), they are in various cities… see endfatigue.com too, there is a doctor finder on that site, which is Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum’s site. It’s even possible to do the treatment remotely, he mails you the prescriptions for tests.
You won’t get anywhere with a regular doctor so don’t bother.
Good luck to your daughter, those of us who have been through this can certainly sympathize. Took me years to get anywhere!
Hi Morty, I always enjoy your entries. Re never giving up. I never gave up – for for some years I gave up trying, as the only tools I had found (talk therapies) were not working, did not get me any further. It’s only been over the past year and a bit that I’ve come to a number of tools, including your Lefkoe method. What changed? Partly something changed in me, maybe made my need greater, maybe made me more open and searching for tools. Also the internet brings us so many links – so your method was recommended by someone else. All the best, Elsa
Dear Morty, that was a truly touching post. When I first did the Lefkoe Method, the changes were so apparent that it was almost as if I had changed faces…suddenly people wanted to be around me and I felt I could take on the world. But I entered a toxic organisation and everything started to unravel. It kept unravelling till I hit rock bottom, stayed there for a while, then started the long ascent out. (how do you stop getting yourself deeper into the hole? stop digging).
Even if I was unable to sustain the results, I still think of it as quite incredible. Thank you for sharing your story – if you could get from where you were to where you are, there’s hope for the rest of us.
Mr. Lefkoe,
Thank you for your article. I think your article very inspiring and give me a new stace for hope. I think hope have characterictic open-ended. But, I have a quetion about hope. How I can stil put my hope when my hope isn’t come true?
Mr. Lefkoe,
Thank you for the uplifting and encouraging article. I have only recently come to know of you and your work. I look forward to INHALING your blog and getting the book and DVD and whatever else. I’ve been doing various healing techniques for years now but I cannot bring myself to charge for the service. The reason is that I wish to deliver what you say you are delivering. I don’t want to do any less than that. I look forward to learning from you and pointing people to you and your institute to learn more.
Seig Mens