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Most of the techniques that proclaim to permanently eliminate long-held beliefs don’t work. Why? And what do the successful techniques do that make them successful?
In order to understand precisely what it takes to get rid of beliefs, you need to understand how we form beliefs.
Because our survival as human beings is always at stake (even though our spiritual being is eternal), we have a built in survival mechanism that has us constantly asking about everything we encounter: Good for me or bad for me? Conducive to my survival or inimical to my survival? In other words, we are constantly appraising everything we come in contact with and asking (unconsciously): What does this mean?
As children we want to know why mom and dad (on whom our lives depend) are angry with us, or why they aren’t around when we want them, or why we can never seem to please them. For most kids between the ages of two and six, the answers to these three questions usually are: Mistakes and failure are bad. I’m not important. I’m not good enough.
Here’s how the beliefs are formed
After asking ourselves: What do these events mean?—we then “make up” one possible meaning. And then we “attribute” that meaning to the events, after which it seems as if the meaning is inherent in the events. In other words, it then seems to us as if we discovered the meaning in the events.
Because the overwhelming majority of people are “visual”—in other words, they know reality based on what they can “see”—they know their beliefs are true because they think they can see them in the world. Once you think you can see something, logic will never talk you out of what you think you have seen “out there.”
Let’s apply what I’ve just explained about how beliefs are formed to the most common belief people have, I’m not good enough. Mom and dad want quiet. Young kids are rarely quiet. Mom and dad want the house to be neat. Kids are rarely neat. Mom and dad want to serve dinner when it’s ready and leave the house when they are ready to leave the house. Kids are busy playing and doing what they want to do; mealtime and leaving the house are not always a priority for them. As a result, many times each day children do not live up to their parents’ expectations.
At best parents respond with annoyance and frustration, expressed in facial expressions, a tone of voice, and comments like: “What’s wrong with you?” “How many times do I have to tell you?” “Don’t you ever listen?” (At worst, parents use physical abuse and other punishments.)
When a child asks herself, what does it mean that she is not doing what her parents want repeatedly and what do her parents’ responses mean, the answer 99% of all children give is: I’m not good enough. (My associates and I have talked to well over 13,000 clients who have told us this.)
If she actually were not good enough, her parents’ responses to her behavior would make sense. In other words, this belief is a reasonable interpretation of mom and dad’s response to her when she is a very young child.
Here is the important part: Once she gives this meaning to the events, it seems to her as if her meaning (her belief) is inherent in the events—as if when she looks at the events she is discovering the meaning “out there” in the world. Once that happens, her belief about the way the world is becomes an entrenched “fact.”
Most of the techniques designed to get rid of beliefs never deal with how the belief got formed and what a belief actually is: A statement about reality that it seems you saw in reality. And because you think you saw your beliefs, you will hold on to them—despite understanding logically that the belief isn’t true and despite understanding that it is self-defeating to continue to hold on to the belief. It is virtually impossible to not believe something you think you “saw.”
How to get rid of the belief
So how can you eliminate the belief quickly, easily, and permanently? Here are the simple steps.
Take a look at a given belief and realize it is one “valid” interpretation of your experiences. And then realize that there are other possible interpretations that hadn’t occurred to you at the time you formed the belief, but, nevertheless, could just as easily account for the events. At which point you realize your belief is “a truth” and not “the truth.”
Then the crucial part comes: Put yourself back into the events that led to the belief and, as you look at them, ask yourself: Doesn’t it seem as if I can “see”
Then ask yourself: Did I really “see” it? Because if you really saw it, you would be able to describe it: color, shape, location, etc. When you realize that you can’t describe it, you immediately realize that, in fact, you never really “saw” the belief. You only saw events, but the meaning of the events—in other works, the beliefs you formed about the events—existed only in your mind.
At this point, for most visual people, the belief is gone. It existed and resisted being extinguished because you thought you had seen it. As soon as you realize you never saw it, that it existed only in your mind, it is no longer something you thought you discovered and saw in the world; it is only one interpretation of many possible interpretations that has existed only in your mind.
As the final clincher, ask yourself if the events that led to the formation of the belief have any inherent meaning. Did they have any meaning before you give them a meaning? By that I mean, can you draw any conclusion for sure from these events? You will quickly realize that the events that led to your belief have many different possible meanings; there is no one meaning that is inherently true. So, while the events might have had consequences at the time they happened, they have no inherent meaning. Any meaning exists only in your mind, not in the world.
At that point, for predominantly visual people, the belief is permanently gone.
Emotionally kinesthetic people are slightly different
The scenario is slightly different for those people who are not visual, who are primarily emotionally kinesthetic. If you are one of these people, you don’t know reality primarily based on what you see, but based on what you feel. If you feel something a lot, it must be true. Why would you be having a feeling over and over if there weren’t something in the world causing it?
These people—when asked: Didn’t it seem as if you saw [your belief]?—answer: “I don’t know what you mean by seeing it; I felt it.”
Here’s how to get rid of a belief if this describes how you function. Ask yourself if the events that caused the belief made you feel [the words of the belief]. The answer will be, yes
Then remind yourself that you had said earlier that the events had no inherent meaning and ask yourself: Is it possible for events that have no inherent meaning to make you feel anything? The answer, of course, is no. So if the events that seemed to have caused the feeling didn’t cause the feeling, what did?
The answer is simple: the meaning you had previously given the events. In other words, the feeling is the result of the belief you had formed. If you had given the events a different meaning, that different meaning would have produced a different feeling. The way to prove this is to imagine the earlier events, observing them as a participant, and then giving the events one of the alternative interpretations you had given the events earlier in the process.
When you do that the “feeling of the belief” is gone.
It becomes clear that having the feeling of the belief repeatedly tells you nothing about the validity of the feeling, because the feeling was not caused by events in the world. It was caused totally by you, by the meaning you already had given the events.
When you say the words of the belief at that point, they will sound meaningless and silly. The belief will be gone.
To summarize: Beliefs are statements about reality that we feel are the truth, that are facts about the world. We are convinced our beliefs are true because we think we saw them in the world and because we felt them so often that they must be true (or else why would we have felt them so often?). Once we realize we never saw the beliefs in the world, that they were only in our mind, and that the feelings we had repeatedly were only because of meanings we gave meaningless events—the beliefs will be gone forever.
Getting rid of beliefs quickly, easily, and permanently is actually very easy when you understand how beliefs are formed and what it takes to eliminate a belief. And now you understand that.
We are in the process of creating an on-line training where you can become proficient in each of the steps of the Lefkoe Belief Process for eliminating beliefs. If you are interested in receiving advance notification, please let me know.
If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to htp://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one negative belief free.
For information about eliminating 23 of the most common limiting beliefs and conditionings, which cause eight of the most common problems in our lives, please check out: http://recreateyourlife.com/naturalconfidence.
These weekly blog posts also exist as podcasts. Sign up for the RSS feed or at iTunes to get the podcasts sent to you weekly.
Copyright © 2011 Morty Lefkoe
What about cultural belief ,such as a debilitating fear of hex or people casting spells on other people. This my seems simple, but having imbue with a culture a fear of the supernatural form a kid can drive a person to loosing their minds.. How to break the belief or fear of this diabolic belief ingrafted in such a person
Amazing blog! I Loved reading this article.
Morty, I would by all means be interested in this online training.
Or for that matter offline will also do, just say where…
Love your program
Hi Efraim,
The training should be complete and we should be offering it by the end of the month. Make sure you are on our email and keep a look out for it.
Love,Morty
Hey Morty,
I’m also interested in this training. Please let me know when you are releasing it!
Thank you,
Ryan
David, I invite you to use some of my articles on your site, too!
Spread the good word!
Hi Morty,
I run a german online-magazine and this is a very good article. I would be interessted to re-publish it in german. Please contact me, if this is possible. Of course we will link to your website and your shop.
Thank you and keep up the great work!
David
hi, i have 1 ?…
im primarily auditorily moded, but your info seems to be only presented for visual or kinisthetic type people.
any reason why only 2 of the 3 modalities? which would be closer to auditory?
Hi Morty,
While the Lefkoe Method does indeed neutralize long held beliefs by going back to the original occurances and having one see the interpretation they gave it was only one of many possible interpretations, and therefore not “the truth” about that situation but was only one of many “possible truths”, which they attributed to the initial event, it seems to leave me, and I assume others, in a neutral place.
This neutral place is the place of realizing one can choose other possible explanations, and the original explanation wasn’t the only explanation available. But how does one move forward from this place with a sense of empowerment and motivation?
If the Lefkoe Method simpy removes the emotional limitation, distress, block, identfication etc. that we associated with the events which occurred when the original belief was created, it only provides one with a new position of being open to other possibilities. So, what must one do to establish a more positive life experience? Affirmations? Visualiations? Associate a more beneficial belief to the event? etc?
For instance, if I come to the conclusion that had I been raised by more loving, intelligent, supportive parents, then I never would have experienced the events that caused me to feel I wasn’t worthy of having the things that money could buy and therefore would never have developed a fear of having money, this releases me from the original belief, but it does not motivate me to do whatever I may be able to do to bring money into my life. So, after the release, what is one to do to change there circumstances and begin to experience the things in life they had been denied because of their beliefs previously?
I’m very curious about this, and judging from what so many who have responded after going through the “bust your money beliefs” course, it seems many others are interested in understanding how to move forward once original beliefs are released in order to see improved changes in their experience of life and their ability to change what becomes manifested in their life after beliefs have been released.
Thanks for any information you can provide on how to take effective “next steps” once one has gone through the Lefkoe Method and released self-sabotaging or limiting beliefs in order to experience desired changes, particularly in the area of financial income and abundance…
Hi Glenn,
A partial answer to your question can be found in a blog post I wrote last year, https://www.mortylefkoe.com/010510/.
ALso, beliefs are barriers. Once they are removed, you might need training or skills or a good strategy to get what you want, money or otherwise. Beliefs can stop you from getting what you want, but they can’t guarantee to give you want you want.
I don’t know any beliefs that will ensure you will get what you want.
Love, Morty
i want to thank you this is very helpful,
it turly helped me to understaned, and i will use it
again thank you very very much .
god bless you /
your angel
love & hags
meseret
Thank you for this. It really really helped :)
Hello Morty, I am presently “deleting” beliefs with your program and would also be interested in the online training you are preparing.
I have a problem with belief number 5 “I am good enough or important when people think well of me”. It doesn’t really go away. For me the belief goes more like this: When I am good enough, people think well of me and then I am safe. And it is more so that I believe that when people don’t think well of me, I am not safe no matter how good I am. My experience is actually so that when I think I am good enough, I feel unsafe as people consider this to be arrogant. Kind of tricky, any suggestions?
Hi Claudia,
It’s hard to know without talking to you and asking a few questions, but it seems as if the belief in the NC program did go away and there are other beliefs that are similar that still exist.
That is quite common. ANd it certainly is possible that the belief did not disappear because of other beliefs that would need to be eliminated first. Not sure.
Love,Morty
Please let me know when you are launching your online course. Thanks!
Hi Morty,
Please let me know in advance when you’re about to launch you on-line course in elimination limiting beliefs.
Thanks,
Jim
Hi Morty – Please do let me know when you are about to launch your on-line course on eliminating limiting beliefs. This is near and dear to my heart, and I would love to be able to help others heal their pain and limiting beliefs!
Sandi
Hi Morty. Please notify me when the online course is available to become proficient in each step of the Lefkoe Belief Process. Thanks for your help. Have a great day.
Please provide me the information on the online training for eliminating limiting beliefs. Thanks you very much.
Hi Morty Love it…Please add me to the list for pre-notice of the online training… Thanks! :)
I would definitely like advanced notice for the on-line training on eliminating limiting beliefs.
Hi, I’d definitely be interested to know when the online training for LBP becomes available.
Please send me information on the Eliminating beliefs Program.. One question: Since those beliefs are made unconscious and feel like the normal way to function sometimes is hard to identify those yourself! What you suggest to identify one got a limiting belief?…
Tks.
Jose
Great post Morty! I told my sister about your Natural Confidence program and she purchased it about two weeks ago. She is going through the beliefs and so am I. Since we were conceived and raised by the same Mom and Dad, it is amazing how similar our “made-up” beliefs are. After using your process to eliminate my beliefs (independently), it is great to share the sources of the beliefs with my sister so see how her sources compare. Most of the time they are the same or very close which validates your theory that most of our beliefs come from our parents in the early years of our lives. We have both searched for many years for a method to get rid of limits on our thinking. I am enjoying the results of your program and truly believe this is the program that will give us our freedom back!!! Thank you very much for everything you are doing. Please send me your online course infromation when available. All the best to you and your family. Bill Nonte
I’m not sure what I am really, I thought I was visual, my language patterns are geared towards that at least, but I’m also quite musical and very kinesthetic in my dealings with other people… I’m kind of a touch junkie..
Please tell me when the training starts
I am kinesthetic person primarily with visual being secondary. I feel, so therefore I am Is my motto, even though what I am feeling is not always the truth.
Hi Morty,
You’ll know from previous posts that I’m really interested in the online training, I’d really like to be able to help friends who are stuck with negative and very limiting beliefs but I want to make sure I have the process nailed before I risk not using it properly and losing credibitity for the method before I’ve been able to assist them.
I’m interested Morty in what your thoughts are around people who process information Auditorily? Is it just a case of substituting “see” for “hear” or something more complex? Just thinking this through, it makes perfect sense to question if someone ‘see’s’ something in the world as being real based on a parents behaviour, but if a parent forcefully and continually states something negative to a child, it’s not as simple to overturn, is it?
Advising someone that they didn’t really hear something that was expressly stated but that they’ve assigned a valid but not ‘absolute/true’ meaning is obviously counter intuitive, does this present problems or is there a sophisticated workaround for this?
The reason I ask is that the person who I think needs most help has an auditory dominant sense and when she talks uses words like hear, listen, loud and clear, music to my ears etc MUCH more than feeling/seeing descriptions.
Thanks Morty
James
Hi James,
I haven’t run into any problems with auditory people using the LBP that focuses on visual and emotionally kinesthetic people. There probably would be a way to modify the process if I really needed to.
Love, Morty
Thanks Morty,
I’ll let you know how I get on if I try it with the person concerned.
Thanks
James
Hi Morty,
Please notify me before you start the on-line training course for eliminating beliefs.
Thanks,
Geoff
Best advice I was ever given was “leave the world alone” and change yourself, because what you are projecting onto the external world is in yourself”.
Thanks for this Morty, it’s really useful. I had already learned the steps by doing Natural Confidence anyway, but I know a lot of people will benefit from this explanation.
This is one of those moments when I hate not having money. I rarely feel the need to buy material things, but taking this on-line training course is something I really really want! D:
Hi, Morty!
You were a guest in one of Joe Vitale’s group conference calls that I conducted last year!
I would LOVE to receive information about when your online course is available. Let’s CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!!!
Thank you, Morty!
Janeen
Please let me know about the online training for eliminating limiting beliefs! Thanks!
Ryan
Please send me advance notification about the on-line training in eliminating limiting beliefs. Thank-you.