Because I’m in the change business I am frequently telling people that change is really easy if you first eliminate the relevant beliefs. Almost without exception, the response is: “But everyone knows that people resist change!”
Don’t you think that people resist change? Don’t you notice that your friends, family and co-workers frequently know what to do and just don’t do it. Of course people resist change. It’s human nature.
Maybe.
Obviously I don’t agree with this common point of view. People do resist something, but it’s not change. Let’s take a look and see what it is.
Let me describe two situations where people usually don’t change when they’ve been told why it is necessary and see if you can figure out what they really are resisting.
Resistance in Business
A common business situation illustrates workers who are seemingly resisting change. Many companies employ people called service technicians. These people see their job as installing, fixing, and maintaining whatever product their company sells.
In recent years management has tried very hard to get these people to provide a higher level of customer service. They are sent to workshops where they are told the importance of taking better care of customers: how customers will buy elsewhere unless they get a high level of service, how their jobs will be threatened if customers stop doing business with their company due to poor service, etc.
But in case after case, the level of customer service doesn’t improve much. According to management, many of the service technicians are “resistant” to change.
Well, if I’m right and they aren’t resistant to change, what are they resistant to? Here’s a clue: These employees believe they are technicians, whose job it is to install, fix, and maintain the company’s products. Now they are being told to take more time talking to customers, telling customers what they are doing and why, answering all the questions customers might have, etc.
Given their belief about their job, they think that what they are being asked to do will make it more difficult to do what they think their job is. They are thinking: How in hell will I ever get my job done if I have to spend all my time talking to customers?
Well, if someone is telling you to do something that will make it difficult for you to do what you think is right, what does their request sound like to you? … Like they’re telling you to do what you think is wrong.
In other words, the technicians are not resisting change (doing something different), they are resisting doing what they think is wrong given their existing beliefs.
What appears to be widespread resistance to change is nothing more than people acting consistently with their beliefs.
When I realized this many years ago (when I was a management consultant), I created workshops that would change workers’ beliefs about their jobs. The new job belief included the desired behavior. After eliminating the old belief and creating the new one, the workers naturally and effortlessly changed their behavior.
In the case of service technicians, we had them create a new job belief—I am a customer satisfier—in which taking better care of customers became possible. The shift in belief allowed employees to see taking care of customers as an integral part of their job, instead of getting in the way of their job. (And the level of customer satisfaction went from the mid 70s to the mid 90s.)
Resistance in Relationships
Now let’s look at a situation that comes up frequently in relationships. Imagine that you have a relationship with someone who yells at people whenever they don’t do what she thinks they ought to be doing. Perhaps you have told this person that you don’t like her yelling at you and you think it is inappropriate for her to yell at others. The response might be, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” But her behavior continues despite this admission.
The response, however, might be: “Yelling is the only way to get people to listen and do what you want.” That’s the belief that engenders the yelling. Given this belief, if you want to get someone to do something and they aren’t doing it, you have to yell to get results.
So if yelling is the right thing to do to achieve her goal, then not yelling is the wrong thing to do. The “yeller” doesn’t resist change; she resists doing what, for her, is wrong. Change the belief and the behavior will change naturally and effortlessly.
The logic of your argument for change is useless if you are trying to get people to do something inconsistent with their beliefs. They will continue to resist doing something they think is wrong. The next time you think someone is resisting change, ask yourself: What must they believe that has them think their current behavior is right and what you are suggesting is wrong?
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Copyright © 2009 Morty Lefkoe
I have a limiting belief that keeps me from using your program. ‘I can’t afford it.’ However, I think I am making progress at identifying my limiting beliefs. This particular post will help, since I need to change my habits and am having great difficulty doing so. I am very happy to be on your mailing list and am learning what I can from this free source of information. Let’s see, the new belief I need is ‘I can afford what I need in order to live better.’ Then the question becomes, ‘Do I need the parts of your program that I have to pay for?’ Time will tell.
Hi Morty,
Maybe that belief could be a blogpost sometime. :)
Thanks,
Judy
Hi Judy,
I don’t think we will be creating any more individual beliefs in the near future. We might create a package to deal with a new problem.
The only way you can get that belief eliminated quickly is to have a session with one of our certified Lefkoe Method facilitators. You probably could eliminate that belief and a few more in a one-hour session.
If you want more information, please call us at (415) 506-4472.
Regards, Morty
Hi Morty,
My mistake. The belief I am talking about is something like “Other people can have it, but not me.”
Thanks! Judy
Hi Judy,
Thanks for your interest in our work.
The belief you want can be found at http://recreateyourlife.com/store.
Regards, Morty
Hi Gaurang,
Thanks for your interest in our work.
There are two ways to eliminate these three beliefs. You can try using the videos that eliminate the other beliefs and just try to plug in the words of these new beliefs and see if that works for you.
If not, you can call us and have a phone session with one of our certified Lefkoe Method facilitators. I would think you probably could eliminate all three beliefs in one one-hour session.
Call us at (415) 506-4472 if you have any specific questions about sessions.
Regards, Morty
Hi Morty,
I could totally see your point with the technicians not wanting to be customer service reps. It caught my attention right away and I thought “That’s not their job,” but your explanation that it would be doing something they view as wrong points out the reason behind that attitude.
Your email about this blogpost asked for suggestions as to beliefs we’d like covered. I’d like to see a program for “I’ll never get what I want.” I don’t think I’ve seen that one yet and it’s one I haven’t eliminated with Shelly either. I would be very surprised if I was the only person out there who’s plagued by this one.
Thanks so much for the work you do!
Judy
I agree with you Morty that it is not the change but the belief that stops someone what seems like a change.
I have been following your blogs and trying your free belief program. I have not got the instant results as others have mentioned but have got curious and think that it might work for me if I try the program several times.
I am wondering about one thing though. As you mentioned the belief “Change is Difficult” in your blog, there are so many beliefs people have that limit them. I certainly admire the beliefs list on the “Belief List” page but I am wondering how one can eliminate all the limiting beliefs on has using your technique as they need the program you have created for that belief. I will just give certain examples:
Sex is bad.
There is evil in this world.
I should be afraid of God.
There would be many such beliefs so do you have any suggestion for someone to work on them till the program becomes available?
I totally agree with your description.
I have been in meetings being told by a manager that change is difficult while thinking, “Change is easy – just get out our way with all this paper work and meetings etc so we can do our jobs properly and we’ll change more than you expect”.
And of course the manager is thinking that all the paper work and meetings are exactly what is needed for the changes she wants…
Change is easy but imposed change will be resisted.