It’s really simple: if you stop giving meaning to events, your upsets and suffering will virtually disappear. I’ve explained how and why in great detail on many occasions.
Here’s my confusion: Once someone understands this, why doesn’t he or she make it a priority to learn how to automatically dissolve the meaning he or she gives events and stop suffering? What keeps people from stopping their suffering once they realize it is not inevitable?
Maybe it’s procrastination. Maybe some people are afraid of being responsible for their experience of life. Maybe there are some beliefs in the way. The thing I hear the most often is how the other person is really at fault in some way. The truth is, I’m stumped … and confused.
Daily I observe people who are dissolving meaning regularly and people who are not. The contrast in their moment-to-moment happiness and the quality of their lives is so striking I can’t help but be awed by it.
It works. Even at 90.
For example, my 90 year-old mother-in-law has been married for 71 years to my 93 year-old father-in-law. For the past 10-15 years he has been getting crankier and crankier, leading him to criticize almost everything she does. With annoyance: “Do this.” With exasperation: “Why did you do that?” With sarcasm: “I was just waiting for something to break.”
The meaning my mom has been giving these comments is “he thinks I’m stupid” and “there is something wrong with me.” That meaning results in her getting defensive, which, in turn, leads to her getting annoyed and yelling at him. That behavior leads him to getting even angrier with her.
And so the days and the years of their life have passed by. Underneath this constant bickering they really love each other, but their daily upset with each other has prevented them from experiencing it much of the time. (How many millions of couples would recognize this sad but totally unnecessary story?)
Then one day I convinced my mom to take the Lefkoe Freedom Course and learn how to dissolve meaning. She practiced once in a while but didn’t do all the assignments. As a result she stopped giving meaning to some events sometimes, but she never got to the point where she could dissolve meaning automatically. A year or so later I was able to convince her to review the course.
This time she did all the assignments every week. And every week she described new miracles in her life. The final result? My wife Shelly spent a week with them last month. Here is how she described their relationship now:
We were swimming in my niece’s pool and they were kissing. I don’t remember the last time I saw them kiss. He calls her “my darling” and she calls him “my sweetie.” I haven’t heard them talk like that to each other for many years. They have a new nightly ritual: milk and cookies. One night I walked out of the guest room where I had been watching a movie with my mom. Dad was just coming out of his bedroom. “Where’s mom?” he asked. “She’s sleeping,” I replied. He asked plaintively: “She’s not having milk and cookies with me? Then he added lovingly: “Is she covered good?” The energy in their house was peaceful for the first time in at least 20 years.
The interesting thing about this story is that when one person in a relationship stops giving meaning to what the other says and does, the nature of the entire relationship changes. You need two people to argue. If one person stops giving meaning to everything the other does and says, all arguments and upsets will stop. It has happened in my life and in the lives of others who have stopped giving meaning to events.
Stop your stress and protect your children
A woman who has learned how to dissolve meaning told me the following story:
My 11-year-old daughter was taken ill and rushed to the emergency room. After the first exam the doctor said he didn’t know what was wrong with her and he would have to give her a battery of tests.– (As you read this, imagine how you would feel in this same situation.) –I started to panic and realized the meaning I had automatically given the situation was that she was very sick and might die. I suddenly realized that the fact that she didn’t feel good and the doctor didn’t know why had no meaning. I didn’t know anything for sure about her condition. Suddenly a calm overcame me. As a result for the next four hours I was able to be relaxed and comforting with my daughter, which kept her from being frightened. After four hours the doctor came in and said, “she’s fine; you can take her home.” Being able to dissolve meaning in that situation was a miracle. Not only was I able to experience calm instead of terror during the four hours it took for the doctor to figure out that nothing was wrong, I was able to be with my daughter in a calm way—in a way that kept her from being scared.
That the daughter didn’t feel well and the doctor didn’t have a diagnosis at the moment was the event. That she had a serious illness or might die was the meaning the mother unconsciously and automatically added to the event. As soon as she made a clear distinction between the event and the meaning, the meaning dissolved. And when the meaning dissolved, her suffering stopped.
And the point isn’t that the daughter was ultimately okay. Being calm and not suffering for four hours when you don’t know if there really is anything to worry about is the point. And being able to be calm so your child doesn’t suffer is priceless.
And when we give meaning …
I don’t have to describe what life looks like when we unconsciously and automatically give meaning 20-50 times a day. Most of us just have to observe our own lives and the lives of almost everyone around us. Notice the victimization, dissatisfaction, annoyance, frustration, and unhappiness that most people experience during the course of a day. This experience is so common that it can easily seem like human nature. But it isn’t. Those feelings are not at all necessary.
You don’t need to buy anything to change your life
Yeah, I have a course that teaches you how to distinguish meaning from events and how to dissolve the meaning. The course is so good that I wish I could get you and the rest of the world to take it. It produces more powerful and positive results in people’s lives than anything I’ve created or have seen anyone else create. I can’t think of anything in the world that would do as much to stop upsets and suffering in people’s lives.
But this post is not about selling the course. There are a lot of free ways to start learning how to dissolve meaning. See especially several short instructional videos at http://lefkoefreedomcourse.com. If you aren’t interested in information about my course, ignore that material and just follow the instructions in the two videos. You won’t get all the subtleties and support the course offers, but you can start the process of learning how to dissolve meaning without spending a cent.
So why don’t YOU do it?
Which leads me back to the question I started with: If it is relatively easy to learn how to dissolve meaning—which will significantly improve your relationships and stop almost all the negative emotions (like anxiety, anger, grief, and sadness)—which lead to upset and suffering—why don’t more people do it? Specifically, why don’t YOU do it? (If you are one of the very, very few who does automatically dissolve most of the meaning you create all day long, congratulations. Please share your experience of living that way. And also share what you think got you to dissolve meaning on a regular basis.)
I’m looking forward to reading your answer.
Thanks for reading my blog. Please post your questions or comments about how dissolving meaning can stop your suffering and why people who know this don’t do it. Your comments will add value for thousands of readers. I read them all and respond to as many as I can.
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Copyright © 2013 Morty Lefkoe
Morty,
I have a question/problem myself about your material. I have purchased and listened to Natural Confidence which focuses on beliefs. Then I went further and got the Lefkoe Occuring Process, or LDMP for short. My issue is with working through LDMP is that I feel as though even when you can take this material, and apply it I have lingering issues with it.
For example I can dissolve a negative feeling I have toward someone I’m in a relationship with who previously would annoy me leaving dishes everywhere; but at the same time if I don’t take care of the dishes they will sit there for an extended period of time. In my example, I feel as though this method is just helping me “bury my head in the sand” sort to speak. It isn’t fixing the the underlying issue, “leaving dishes everywhere annoys me, because they know I will just clean up after them or it will sit there for an extended period of time” Doesn’t change. I despise living in a dirty environment. I’m not a super neat freak but come on.
The pattern is: Dishes left out—>me annoyed, they know I will just clean it up—> Me speaking to them and explaining I would appreciate they clean up after themselves—>I use the LDMP to dissolve negative feelings, BUT ONLY FOR THE MOMENT…BECAUSE—> It happens again confirming my previous annoyance. This is just one example.
If you could please advise me Morty, I think I could solve a lot of daily arguments, negative feelings, etc.
Thank you.
UPDATE:
Several days now after writing my above comments, I feel like I need to retract them. I realized this week, to my surprise, that the process actually did help me free myself from the hold of the “mistakes and failure are bad” belief. The change was very subtle, but I suddenly noticed I have been taking more action more quickly and without the usual worry, apprehension, or dread. And when I think about that phrase, I actually do not feel much emotional charge now. So, my apologies for being difficult, and thanks!
Thanks for the read….but I don’t need fixin, I ain’t broke! :)
With a mind that tries to understand the things that happens in order to deal with the pain or pleasure felt during the events and a deep rooted worldwide conviction that everything has a meaning and an ego that loves to be right about it’s conclusions and hate to be wrong about things, I say that makes it hard to let go and stop giving meaning to events and situations.
By giving meaning, events make sense even when the sense is nonsense. Letting go the I that needs to make sense out of the occurrence is as hard as letting an arm or leg being amputated.
Also in a world filled with people who give meanings to events its hard to be one who doesn’t give meaning to events. One then is free of the pain caused by the meaning but is still a stranger in reality where many people still share their opinions, conclusions and meanings.
I say its hard to let go the I that needs to give meaning in order to understand events in life because of this conviction that everything has a meaning and that things can be controlled once we understand.
The truth though is less complex, nothing really means anything and therefore it can be given any meaning. And even that meaning doesn’t mean anything, it only has an effect. A truth that’s hard to swallow for a convinced ego that loves the illusion of control.
Personally, it’s too expensive for me.
That’s the comment that confuses me as there are numerous blog posts and videos that describe how to do it at no cost whatsoever. The course does cost money and obviously gives you personal support every week. But you can learn a lot without the course and without spending any money.
Love, Morty
I’m really frustrated with this, and haven’t pursued any of your other offerings. I really wanted it to work, but I went through the free steps to eliminate “mistakes and failure are bad,” and the statement still has a lot of emotional resonance, despite several repeats. I of course intellectually can distinguish the past, painful “consequences” of mistakes and failure from some kind of absolute, metaphysical “meaning” in the events themselves, but knowing or accepting that just doesn’t make me any less hung up about mistakes and failure now.
Yes, I can see how we assign meaning to inherently meaningless events, but that doesn’t help me in practice. The negative consequences that inevitably flow from mistakes and failure are, for all practical purposes, the only “meaning” that matters, and “knowing” otherwise doesn’t seem to be making difference to my living experience.
Any suggestions?
@Brent, there is a war going on, for our minds.
Without mistakes, [in genetic code replication] life would be confined to replicating the cells in which life originated, all varieties of life can thank ‘mistakes’ for their existence. Get this: ‘conformity’ is a weapons project, puppets react ‘perfectly’ as our bot net controllers designed U$ to act.
A neg (also neg hit, negative hit) is a term used in the seduction community for making an ambiguous or negative statement to an individual in order to induce certain control reactions. An example of a neg is to ask, “Nice haircut; did you do it yourself?” or, “Great project, did your parents build that for you?” The war for our minds is NOT over; whom do you want to win it? When mistakes and failures are allowed become interesting learning experiences, they loose cunt troll of our minds. Have some fun with them, loose respect for cunt formity, play this war game as a smart-ass, waste their time.
Thank you. This is pretty interesting, but I’m not sure I completely follow the ultimate connection to my comment. Knowing or telling yourself that mistakes are necessary for growth doesn’t remove the underlying belief or the stresses it causes.
Just realizing that maybe mistakes and failure are not bad in some absolute, metaphysical sense doesn’t really help me. I already believe that, but it doesn’t remove the subjective experience of the belief. So this system just has not worked for me as advertised.
So I just was expressing my frustration about that, since Morty asked for input on why we think more people aren’t doing it. Maybe it’s because it’s not working for everyone. Is that so inconceivable?
@Brent it is still a childish belief. there is a lot of emotional resonance despite several repeats – but you can dissolve the meaning that you are making about the fact that there is still a lot of emotional resonance around that belief!
Basically, the fundamental act of insanity is to believe something is true because of our feelings and emotions about it (called “psychic equivalence”). If you believe something unconsciously, then you get emotions as a result of that belief being triggered by experiences that don’t jive correctly. If you then make meaning about those emotions, you are feeding it right back to the belief, and cancelling any progress you made about releasing that belief!! so the occurrence here is your emotions, and the meaning you are making is that “mistakes are bad.”
You might get further if you look at this belief from a different angle. It is an implant that our parents/caregivers put into us at a very young age (especially if they are intellectuals and want us to make them proud). The belief isn’t just that mistakes are bad, it’s that “Errors cause problems for other people and THAT is bad, so if you ever make errors, then others should control you so that you don’t cause problems for them.”
This belief allows you to give up responsibility for your mistakes, and allows you to control others because of their mistakes.
The truth is, we each have the right to make mistakes AND BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM. To err is human. We all make mistakes. with the childish, (incorrect) belief that when you make mistakes, you cannot be allowed to be responsible, we are all going around controlling each other. So let people make mistakes, and let them be responsible for dealing with the consequences. After a few occurrences where you dissolve the meaning that YOU have to be responsible for other people’s mistakes, you will soon be able to release others from being responsible for YOUR mistakes.
then you can screw up all you want! :)
Thank you for your help. Very interesting. Knowing such things, though, doesn’t free one from the impact of the belief. At least, it doesn’t for me.
The program indicates that one can know if the belief is gone by whether one still feels any emotional impact from it after going through the process. That is what I am referring to, and by that standard I definitely still have the belief. Thus, my frustration. That’s all I’m saying.
Knowing that mistakes and failure may not be bad in some ultimate, “out-in-the-world,” objective, absolute-truth kind of way doesn’t seem to change my subjective experience of mistakes and failure being bad. Moreover, remembering past experiences with my parents and realizing those experiences could have different meanings than the one I assigned them also doesn’t seem to do it.
So, like Morty, I too am confused about this. I appreciate you trying to help, but knowing all that doesn’t seem to magically dissolve the belief as advertised. Maybe I’m doing something wrong. Dunno.
I wasn’t pointing out your childhood stuff or whatever in order to make your belief go away, I was answering Morty’s question using your example, which is
“I am unable to stop making meaning of the occurrences because I am making meaning out of the fact that occurrences happen in the first place.”
put another way, “I am using my own feelings about the occurrence (which are based on my childhood belief implants – not on anything ‘out there’) as PROOF that the occurrence has meaning. So the process just can’t work, because I will make meaning out of the fact that I make meaning!”
it’s a feedback loop! :)
this is why Morty has these videos about “who am I, really?” if the clay thinks that the clay is making the clay, then the clay is stuck. if you (the potter) can step back out of the clay for a moment and see that your mind/brain is doing this, then you can release it in a moment.
Imho, this is all part of a very natural process of evolution of consciousness. We all have thoughts, emotions and feelings. Feelings we experience in our gut brain, which are induced in a form of emotions and thoughts in our cortical brain. Two of the latter build our Ego as sum of our belief systems recorded in our brain, which are an instrument of perceiving our physical world.
Evolution of consciousness is a two-way feedback process. Ego is needed to draw and focus our attention on a specific event before our senses. In order to give any feedback to our consciousness we have to use our belief systems in order to give meaning to events and classify the information and transform them to feelings.
I think Ego, as part of our physical world is influenced by physical forces, such as gravity, as well inertia, making it hard to change. It does so, for example, when we try to dissolve meaning it creates an avalanche of predefined, programmed negative thoughts in a similar pattern to all people thus creating a confusion and resistance to change. A kind of inertia. All it takes to beat this is following our intuition, which is made of feelings (the cortical Brain is incapable of feeling anything, not even pain). When we let positive feelings of archetypes of Love, freedom, truth, justice, ultimately happiness, being induced as positive emotions, they are meaningless no matter how hard we try to define them, thus giving us “free energy” to overcome inertia of stereotypes which ultimately create fear. Only then is our attention drawn to the chain of events which are required for us to experience archetypes in stead of stereotypes.
I think Morty’s methods are revolutionary and really break stereotypes to pieces in order to dissolve their meaning. But it cannot be done by the same forces which lead to building them. This is why fear creates even more fear and even more negative thoughts in order to make our Ego even harder to change. Nothing here can be done by force and this is why people reject it and refuse to dissolve meaning… This is why I think people aren’t actually doing it.
It’s what we are here doing Morty, making meaning. Some meaning serves us and some doesn’t. What is the difference between your life having meaning and giving meaning to events? Does your life have meaning if you don’t give it meaning? Why get out of bed if we our lives are meaningless?
Hi Morty,
I think it’s due to a core persona of shame and fear. I think a module regarding shame based beliefs may be helpful. I also think a module on God beliefs (though I’m sure some make take offense) would be helpful. I’ve been going through the 12-steps, and a majority of the steps seem to address shame beliefs about yourself, and your beliefs in a higher power. In addition to dealing with resentments, fears, and anger.
I’ve often wondered regarding your method (which I use very successfully in most areas, except this one regarding shame beliefs about myself) on how to handle issues that are derived very early in life, say 0-4 years old, or even from conception to birth?
During this time if we are abused, before we even have conscious memories or a way to verbally express ourselves, how does this work with your belief method? I can’t remember the event, or how I felt about it. If one never received what I’ve heard called “first acceptance” (that we are loved and accepted merely for being born, not based on anything we did) from our parents, what do you do? In this case, ones entire persona may be based on such beliefs as “I was made to suffer”, or “I don’t deserve love”, etc, etc. and their whole life and persona may be based around these beliefs. I think part of getting “stuck” here is the unknown of who you are without these beliefs….. and that you may be abandoned in your relationships, or have to change your life entirely if these beliefs are relinquished, and you have no idea who you are anymore.
Just my 2 cents.
Warmest Regards,
Brad
Hi Brad,
I think you are right about what you say in your post. I’m working with someone now and he has shared several religion based beliefs that were conditioned into him over several years of his life up to his teen years.
That he is a sinner and he must constantly seek God’s forgiveness, that he should not strive for anything for himself (personal success, money, etc) because that is a sin. There is several more beliefs as well that are very counter-productive to living a happy life as an adult.
This seems to be more of a conditioning issue at this point. He doesn’t believe the dogma anymore, however, it still is difficult for him to believe that God loves him unconditionally, even when he makes mistakes or “sins.” This may be a big part of the basis for “making mistakes is bad.”
If you were taught that God doesn’t like it when you make mistakes, it can be difficult to move beyond that without some direct spiritual experiences to the contrary. Makes me glad I didn’t attend church very much as a kid!
Paul
I heard quite a few times the one about being a robot if you don’t experience negative emotions.
I did the Lefkoe Freedom Course six months ago and it has so profoundly transformed my life for the better that I’ve been offering to teach myself the course to friends and family for free (so that money is no object). Several people I’ve talked to about it tell me that not experiencing negative emotions sounds like a robot. It seems that no matter how I try to explain that when you eliminate negative emotions you are free to experience any positive emotion of your choosing, my arguments don’t get through.
One person who felt a strong rejection to the idea of not experiencing negative emotions made the argument that “you can’t have joy if you don’t experience pain.” In my experience that is totally false, and if you think about it people don’t go out of their way to experience pain just so that they can increase their joy.
I’ve also heard from one person that she doesn’t want to eliminate her negative emotions; she wants to experience them fully. Go figure.
And also some people don’t think that they experience significant negative emotions, that they “just don’t get angry any more”. That argument breaks down when you catch them with a persistent negative emotion and point it out to them.
I don’t know. I’ll just keep trying to make a better argument for the course.
Hi Matt, sometimes if we go to another landscape to communicate our meaning, things become easier…
If we magnify anything in our physical reality, we soon come to see that it is mostly made up of structures of “nothing” …cells, atoms, electrons, etc., things reflecting “light” held together by magnetic charge(s) which we could call orbit, gravity, or “love” (attraction). If we look at the present moment, the physical things we are able to perceive or see, we see because of light or the reflection of light. When it is pitch black, we see nothing. No light, no visual sense, no awareness, no emotion, yet perhaps we can feel negativity as internally we pull up memories, with perhaps feelings we might call fear, anxiety, etc. …and these feelings as they are a memory are not actually present. We assess the moment by what is here, positive and not here, negative. Negative emotions are learned, we learn to become fearful.
Negative emotions we could say are void of present physical feeling. Because we still feel something, we perceive they are physically present and part of the moment… but if we take time to examine them, we see they are actually not present for one reason or another. Perhaps they are tied to some past meaning, or perhaps they are tied to an inner realm of our imagining… sometimes they are tied to an inner warning system of our wisdom trying to have conscious expression, we see this often with anger. Often with anger something is trying to be born into our realization.
Humanity is evolving, each day we become more, each day parts are transformed. We express in percentages of our highest possible awareness. We always have parts of our being that are evolving, so parts of our consciousness are birthing into our awareness, and parts of our consciousness where we simply miss the point of our life are transforming into a more enlightened state of awareness, so in that manner need to change or die.
The transformation process of our consciousness brings us more into the present moment, a place of light. Most who spend a few moments looking in this manner come to realize that negative emotions are emotions that are not really present. Negative emotions are the emotions that we refine and bring into the experience of the present moment, in a more enlightened manner of perception.
As we are always evolving, we can’t really ever get rid of negative emotions.
Repetitive negative emotions of say pain, don’t actually give us the understanding of joy… that would be like thinking driving off the road and into trees gives us a better understanding of driving… driving off the road happens sometimes but staying on the road gets us to where we want to go. Joy is the natural feeling of our connection to the planet… we each have somewhere to go, and something to do that often only we perceive to be important and necessary.
Negative means not present, or void of present… negative emotions are where we miss the point of our life. They are a necessary feedback point of the learning curve, but not a place to park!
Thank you for making the effort to pull others into their life purpose, and for sharing your insights, I hope you will have the patience to keep up the good work.
Hmmm… are you confused? …do you really think you are confused? …or are you simply motivated and acting according to your nature? …and what is the meaning of your foundational question?
Many years ago, I worked with a wonderful man, a Kahuna, a Keeper of the Ancient Wisdom of Hawaii. He was just what I needed… isn’t it wonderful how life always can be counted upon to give us just what we need, just when we need it!
Hawaii has wonderful teachings about these truths that you are bringing to the planet. Aloha means many things, my favourite is “Alo” “the ever present moment” and “ha” “the soul” “light and love”. We create our own life, so our life is right for us, but it is our job to make it “more right” this is the great teaching of Ho’oponopono “making right, more right”…we forget to do this, sometimes because too many foundational truths clang around in our mind! There are many great systems of truth on our planet… but who has ears to hear them, and the logic to apply them, and what about listening to our heart? What is challenge? And, perhaps a more important decision is, what challenges me?
As a student of Sigmund Freud, Immanuel Velikovsky’s career as a psychiatrist focused upon this aspect of humanity’s conscious mind’s struggle. Freud called it a type of “amnesia” that moves to center stage of conscious thought, once an individual has experienced trauma.
Why do we have this amnesia? …is a great understanding of truth that is crying out to be heard. How is it that we can create such a rift in our conscious mind. Why do we insist upon the re-creation of past traumas and then do nothing to overcome the trauma?
Our mythologies are full of stories about the great call for the hero to rise. The question each hero faces however is, what is a worthy opponent? We are all willing to rise to the challenge, of a worthy opponent.
With traumas of our past, there are foundational truths clanging in our mind and body… “Was this past event I am carrying so loudly in my mind actually a trauma?” “Was I really touched by it?” “I decide, what really challenged me.” Like the ostrich, we are silent, we have learned the lesson well, we simply turn the other cheek, and empowered by misguided righteousness, we hold our ground… “darkness is not real.” We decide we have not been touched, not traumatized, not been really hurt. We remember clearly our ineffectiveness in this past event, and feel the emotional truth of the trauma, still resonates, but we do not want to believe what our eyes, our ears our heart is saying… like a deer in the headlights we stop dead in our tracks… A deep inner knowing is now activated, “Darkness is not real” We know that in the end, justice does prevail, darkness can not exist in light, it has no place here. How is this happening, becomes our quest, an internal process dominates.
We lack the ability to maintain the realization that we are evolving into a physical landscape, that requires our input. SOMETIMES when we get a story line playing we must deal, sometimes we can do nothing! How do we decide when to move and when to overlook, what is a worthy opponent?
It does no good to pretend we are emotionally clear and free, we must do the work, and find our way out. Leaving it unresolved only keeps it in memory, so we drag it into today. We do not see that darkness is demanding to be set free, demanding our input, …resolution. Only what can be seen with the inner eye of understanding will be kept, as it can be held, has substance, is real. We can not hold the darkness of past traumas, they must become substance that we can hold. Empowered by the logic of intellect, if we decide this past trauma was not a worthy opponent, we are left to live our life from the bleachers, as part the living dead,. Numb and silenced, we try to ignore the unpleasant feedback feelings/memories playing. We say we are happy and try get on with living our life. Thankfully, our body mind does not let up…the unresolved does not shut down of its own accord. We move from mental, to emotional to physical distress…
To become empowered with our natural wisdom is the call our life is making. To stand for our contribution to evolution is our destiny. We must not forget the light or the dark is empowered by our agreement.
And those who finally do come to realize the workings of this strange human amnesia characteristic can’t believe their boon to humanity is not quickly and warmly embraced… but it is not. The coping skills of the broken and strong, don’t allow the pain, have nothing to fix, the past trauma was not real, yet it follows them loyally, and loudly expresses… few see its call to be set free.
Like many other great men, Velikovsky had as foundational to his controversial research, reinterpreting the events of our ancient history this same question. Do we hear the truth in Velikovsky’s work? Even if perhaps some of his ideas are unacceptable, is he accepted and known for making a contribution? And what about the others that have something profound to say that we do not easily want to hear like Schauberger? And Tesla? And all the others who have wonderful insights and clarity of mind, what about their contributions?
Why is it that understanding this plight of humanity’s conscious amnesia somehow seems to motivate and empower us, and activate a boldness of contribution? Why do we go along with the bullies, the illogical, the lies and deception… What and why is our life? What role does joy have, and is joy a freedom, is it wealth?
Thank you for your contribution, your work is ensuring that humanity will one day see what they are pretending to not see and pretend never happened… Why do we not take our life more seriously?… this is an old and great question!
It is time to hear this story!
Dear Breane,
Holy f**k.
Why indeed, do with go along with the perpetrator – the whole story of abuse in fact, which flowers out of any story of perpetrator, victim, or hero (enabler). In reading your thoughts, I realized it is really very simple: the spiritual “amnesia” as described is simply a protective mechanism of the mind to deal with that which cannot be fully received into consciousness at the moment because it makes no sense. It is just a little bubble of safety that encapsulates that so-called “trauma…” which is nothing more than an inability to consciously process. Simply a result of mental limitation. Like a computer which receives data files in a format for which there is no program (such as when I try to open an .exe file on my Mac)
The victim-perpetrator-hero story of abuse and trauma is the file folder where these impossible files go.
And then we have written a new program (called “poor me”) into which we place all new information that cannot be processed according to our current set of mental programs (beliefs) …dissolving the meaning consciously is a way to file the new information differently, more helpfully.
But it doesn’t necessarily correct those underlying structures.
Hi Lishui
Maybe simply choosing to do whatever is necessary to stop the play of the negative programs so we can get on with living our life in a full and self motivated manner is enough.
Nature seems to work wonderfully, whether we understand it or not, perhaps self-defined purposeful expression is the missing link…
Human beings have a need to attribute cause. Often we are trained to blame others or circumstances (which requires creating meaning) for our results rather than looking into our selves to learn why we are bringing events, circumstances, and people into our lives. There is always something for us to learn. When we attribute cause by seeing our part in creating our life circumstances, then the meaning we will see is that there is something we can learn and then we can let go and move on. Why are we afraid to let go of meaning? Soul searching is scary. What if I don’t like what (who) I find?
Morty,
Probably some people have limiting BELIEFS ABOUT BELIEFS (or beliefs about reality) themselves.
For instance, when I was using your program, some voices that ran through my head say things like “Don’t lie to yourself – is true”, or “This method (the LBP) only takes you away from reality!” In short, these are RESISTANCE against not giving meaning or detach meanings from meaningless events.
I am aware you addressed limiting belief about change (“Change is difficult and takes a long time”) in your natural confidence program, but what about BELIEFS ABOUT BELIEFS themselves? Maybe that’s the missing link?
I think some of your confusion could be explained by accepting that your calling in life Morty, could equate to an obsession. This is a good thing, but it doesn’t affect others the same as it might yourself.
I have four kids (within two and a half years of each other) and I am obsessed, admittedly, with doing everything I can to bring them all up to be great human beings. This has included sharing with them your Occurring work. But I can’t just focus on my thoughts all day long. I also have a real, not imagined, need to keep up with meal planning, shopping and preparation. Activity planning and execution. House maintenance, repair and upkeep, etc. etc. As a single mum, I do want mental peace. I also want an organized life. It is my experience that the two go hand in hand.
This is not to mention that I have to figure out how to make a living while doing all I do for my kids now that my husband has left us. I am “confused” about why my husband doesn’t value family more highly than himself. I am “confused” at how society can possibly agree that no fault divorce is just! It is NOT! Despite my confusion, all I can do is surmise that my values are more important to me than they are to others.
Each of us has our own obsessions. For some, it could be competitive cycling or any other sport. For others it may be music or gardening. For others yet, an aspect of science or mathematics. Each person who tirelessly spends hour upon hour doing exactly what they love or value most may also find themselves to be “confused” over why the rest of the world does not find the same high degree of value from dedicating themselves to focussing on, well, fill-in-the-blank!
Despite this confusion, thank goodness we all have varied and different interests! It certainly helps with the global economy that we do.
I believe that we all tend to make our own priorities fairly naturally based on what we find most interesting, not to mention what we find ourselves to be good at.
Please keep doing what you do Morty, because you are unique in your knowledge AND passion for this subject. It is to be noted though, that for those who have not experienced severe suffering, they would have little interest in doing the work you prescribe. They would not see the value in it. I just finished a book on “Why We Are On This Earth” which is all about individuals discovering God ONLY AFTER they have experienced trial upon tribulation. For the individuals in this book, their belief could only come after their suffering, not before. Though I remain atheist, I note a parallel with those who seek out your help.
Sally
We’re creatures of habit, Morty. If problems don’t directly and imminently threaten our a) bonds with others or b) survival, we have very little desire to make meaningful and lasting changes in our lives, unfortunately.
I dissolve my occurring daily and it helps. Meditation and taking the Lefkoe training helped.
Love Jason Linder
Morty,
I’m 25 years old and fortunately one of the “very, very few who automatically dissolves most of the meaning he creates all day long”.
My “experience of living that way”: Well, it definitely has a profound effect on my life. I have an online business, and for the past 5 years I made almost no money online, it was just recently that I started making enough money to finally say to myself “I didn’t waste 5 years of my life”. What helped me get going even after years of failure was a constant effort to dissolve any negative meaning I was giving to my failures, and see them as a way of learning instead. Dissolving the negative meanings I was given to my failures helped me, eventually, to succed with my business, and not only that, but to enjoy life a lot more during the process.
“what you think got you to dissolve meaning on a regular basis?”: I believe it was my passion for enjoying life in full no matter what. I think my need for finding something to be happy about everyday is the resposible for leading me to develop, over time, a way to combat any negative thoughts that could prevent me from doing that. I’ve always felt that if I let my fears and espectations pile up without control they would overwhelm me and make it impossible to go on or enjoy life in any way (trying to learn and build an online business requires a lot of self motivation), and so I’ve always tried to be objective and see things the way they actually are. Problems look a lot smaller and approachable when you take a step back and look everything from a more clear perspective, and it’s a lot easier to enjoy the small things of the everyday life when you feel you have control over your problems.
Just wanted to share my experience :)
I’d lovc to contact Lucio because i have been struggling to crack it online……the info here you have shared is brilliant…THANKS!!
Morty,
I took the lefkoe freedom course and I did all the assignments. But I have always had a confusion by what you mean by “doing it automatically”. I have set the alarm for several weeks and it became easier and easier to dissolve them but each time I had to do it consciously, so I decided to identify and eliminate the beliefs so I wouldn’t have to dissolve the meaning consciously everytime. So I’m currently not dissolving every meaning or on every situation but I do it when I have a negative emotion or if I want to discover other negative beliefs that I’m not aware I hold. :)
Juan
Instead of giving you an essay I will sum it up. Modern Human Beings seek to receive pleasure, no matter the cost, and it causes irrational behavior and thinking. So in a sense it is addiction to the bad, which gives them comfort like a security blanket. They don’t truly want to change, yet.
I think that people continue to make meaning out of events because of deeper stories we still have about ourselves that we have not yet dealt with. Our perceptions become clouded by this, and we become overwhelmed by what, to us, seems like “facts” rather than beliefs.
Lishui
Hi Morty,
I think it is about habits and secrets.
First, habits take more than 21 days. The reactive habit and the bias to defend our habits is pretty powerful…especially if we still give meaning to our ‘old way’ of doing things.
Second, people who believe there are secrets keep pushing on to look for ‘real’ secrets. It works like this…now that I know Morty’s Stuff it isn’t a secret & since I know it, it isn’t a secret…which means I need to move on because there is a secret out there that is the real answer.
That’s all I’ve got. The only other option is that people prefer their misery by choice; which is the thing no one can make sense of.
Bless you,
Fred Ray Lybrand
What a great question to pose! And some great answers from people who responded. Here’s my two cents on this…
One of my favorite sayings is, “You can be right or you can be happy.” It seems that often we are faced with that choice. Being right includes many things associated with human ego, including being identified with certain ways of being, perspectives, meanings, etc. which give our ego a sense of who it is. The false “mind-made” sense of self that exists within each of us.
So, to give up any meaning or interpretation can involve a bit of an identity crises for the ego. “Who will I be if I don’t get upset by this?” It also creates fear related to the unknown… The idea that everything is meaningless is very disturbing to the part of our mind which likes to pigeon-hole everything. If there are no meanings then how can we categorize and pigeon-hole people and experiences? This is a major problem for the ego which gets its sense of self from what it is identified with. This is where most people on the planet live, however.
For someone who is in the process of evolving beyond the egoic mind, and living more from a higher self perspective, your process works very well because this type of person has decided that being happy, content, at peace is more important than being right about what any particular event or thing means.
Someone mentioned above that there is a part of us that likes to suffer or enjoys the suffering. I believe that also has to do with the ego and pain-body concept, and it’s very comfortable and familiar, and it’s the way most people around us live so we are constantly having that modeled for us and being conditioned by those around us.
To live a life free of meaning is to truly go against the grain of the mass consciousness. To be able to “leave the tribe,” which also creates a great deal of fear until you realize in today’s world in developed civilizations, leaving the tribe no longer equates to certain death. We can live quite well even if we go against the grain of the masses because there are millions of people (still a tiny percentage of the world population) who are now doing that and there are many new tribes that have formed that we can join which have like-minded people. You have created your own tribe with the work you have been doing for the past 20+ years. We are evolving beyond the egoic survival mentality, but the vast majority of people on the planet haven’t gotten very far down that road yet.
So, letting go of our meaning-making machinery is an extraordinary leap to make for most people. Even though the benefits are huge and the level of freedom and happiness that results is unlike anything most people have experienced. It’s scary, and it takes wanting something enough that you will step into the fear and learn something new.
Keep shining your beacon to the world, Morty. More and more people are catching on and humanity will one day reach critical mass with these types of ideas and things will shift in a big way… provided we haven’t gone extinct before we get to that point :)
Love & Appreciation,
P
Perfect explanation :)
Thank you
Well, Morty if the genuine purpose of this post to really find out why don’t people use the technique that they’ve experieced working (rather then convert more people to your customers :)) ) – then for me it’s always due to some beliefs like
1) nothing’s really gonna work
2) all theese self-help guys are frauds
3) all theese techniques are just to make me PAY
4) results are not persistent
5) I can not get it working EVERY time in EVERY situation
6) Even if I can get myself relieved of some deep frustration and gloom – I ONLY LIE myself about what’s really important, I PRETEND that those experiences didn’t have such and such meanings (while deep inside I still know that they DID). So I’d rather feel bad and suffer (and even DIE), and be HONEST than LIE and get relief. I would rather be suffering but honest and REAL, than pretend, get relief and be superficial, pretending, and so on..
Hi Morty,
As strange as it sounds, I think the reason many people don’t do the things that will help them be happier because they find a perverse satisfaction in being unhappy…
It seems to me that there’s a kind of sick satisfaction to be found in blaming one’s circumstances and other people for being unhappy.
In a way it excuses us from having to take any action or responsibility for our own happiness, and secure in that knowledge, we can satisfy ourselves with the pursuit of momentary pleasure over long-term happiness…
Here’s something I hear from people often: “I want to feel the full range of human emotion. People who don’t allow themselves to fully experience their so-called negative emotions are robots.”
I have two different points to make.
First is for the average person. If the average person is told about the occurring course and how all of their upsets and negative emotions they experience all day are unneccessary, the majority of people will think you’re crazy. Based on their experience and most people they know, they see that as a way of life. The probably hold beliefs that assume life to be hard, or painful. Pain and stress is just a way of life for most people. So this will conflict with their beliefs and they will reject it.
Second, is for someone who is open-minded to the idea or thinks it is true. Even though they feel that way, many still don’t do it often. Why don’t they do it more? I view it no different than why people don’t exercise. We all know that exercise is good for us and will help us live longer, but many still don’t do it. There is certainly is not a shortage of information out there on how to be healthier, have a good relationship, and thanks to Morty how to eliminate all suffering. But people lack the motivation to do it, I believe, because of their beliefs and conditionings.
So overall, I think this is a pattern like any other pattern, that by eliminating the proper beliefs and conditionings, they will do the occurring process often and see the benefits of it.
I totally agree with you Matt!
I’ve experienced the improvements that comes from eliminating limiting beliefs, but still when there’s a “new” behaviour I want to change, I procrastinate in doing it.
I know I need to eliminate the beliefs that are in the way of using the Lefkoe method consistently before eliminating the beliefs that cause my other unwanted behaviours.
I think most people are conditioned to find meaning in their lives. It terrifies most people if you say to them life has no meaning. People think what is the point then in life, even if their lives would be much more happier by dissolving meanings.
Often people are not aware they deserve true peace and happiness.
Once they become aware it is still an adjustment to consistently allow happiness.
Hi Morty,
For me its just a matter of money – I know what I have to do but its always a matter of not really being able to spend money unless its for things that are absolutely essential.
Hope this makes sense
regards
stephen
Hello Morty,
Dissolving upsets or other emotions is not enough for me. It is not complete mastery, you are still not in complete control of yourself, some part is still subconscious and sending upsets/negative emotions to you from time to time. I don’t like to eliminate the upset, I want to experience the upset fully. I don’t want to be against even the upset. I want to so completely understand the upset/negative emotion that I will have completely mastered it to the point that it doesn’t have the slightest power over me anymore.
In my opinion, you can’t preempt/prevent something subconscious forever. You are to live your life, and deal with whatever comes as subconscious is becoming conscious. Otherwise you will be stuck in maintaining a happy ego, but life is not about happiness only. Life is about seeing it all, trusting the universe and genuinely maturing in the process.
It must be possible to have a completely silent peaceful blissful mind/body/emotions without any personality, as our true self, the formless all encompassing eternal consciousness, and stopping before achieving that state is stopping early.
In my opinion people really want that experience, not just to be free of upsets, so they don’t just want try to eliminate them, they are guided from/by a higher perspective/mind in such a way that they would want to solve it from the core. Some would be drawn to your processes, because they are also educative, they also complete the picture, they also help in self mastery. But some may need another path at a certain time to learn what they need to learn. Perhaps sometimes the quickest teacher of peace is war, teaching by contrast, for bliss maybe it is suffering.
How so? Maybe repeated suffering in the end would exasperate you so completely that, becoming aware of its chief cause, you will desire to drop the ego completely, from the root.
As long as you have an ego, you are an addict to it. It doesn’t matter if it is a wise ego, a scientist’s ego. It is an ego, a limitation for our boundless nature.
Love,
Erdal
for all of you trying i think this is the page!!
http://lefkoefreedomcourse.com/#
Hi Morty
Firstly keep up the good work. As a student of yours (removing beliefs) and not to give this a meaning!!! To me for me this is about fear.. the fear of not understanding what is in front of you/occurring to you..
You want to know how to react! what is best to do how to make sense of the situation to protect yourself from harm and risk. Why else would you want to make sense of the situation if it mean nothing? All you would do is miss it possibly? It would not matter and you might not take note. If in ones life something is important that you would like to achieve then you act according to that importance… it means something. It is valuable to you and says something about who you think you are.
Well these are my thoughts. What things mean to me..
I always like your program. I trust you very much . Sometimes, when I feel scared or frustrated, I go to read your blog.
I wanted to have a look at the videos, but the link http://lefkoefreedomcourse.com/ gives me an Error 404 – Page Not Found
Siwen
Hi Siwen,
Sorry the link didn’t work. Please try again with a different browser. It just worked for me on Firefox.
Love, Morty
Maybe they have these 2 thoughts of
“Yeah this works, but I will work on myself later. Right now I have A, B, C list of things to do.”
or
“I’m not too sure it will work on me…other people yes, but maybe not me….hmmm”
Either way, they think they are not good enough or important enough (see what I did there?) to work on themselves pronto! :)
I think oftentimes people feel stuck.
Seems to me that sometimes some people are afraid to leave a place that feels familiar and therefore comfortable .. even if that place is painful .
The unknown ( being happy for example ) can be scarey ! :-)
I’ve been reading your blog and a lot of other similar material. When i discovered it it made a lot of sense to me. it feels like i naturally am that way anyway, but i let life and other influences get in my way and forgot.
Now i consciously practice it all the time and my relationships have improved so much. I’ve even tried to explain it to friends but they’re not as dedicated i guess, or possibly don’t believe that they do have the power over their own lives, so it’s not working as well.
I still have so many beliefs i’d like to dissolve but am stuck inside of. It’s frustrating, but i work at it every day, and i see little improvements here and there, but it’s frustrating to know something intellectually but not grasp it in real life. It all depends on the area of my life. Perhaps some areas will just take longer.
I haven’t bought your course but i’ve combined what i’ve learned from you, and law of attraction, and other personal development things.
I like it because i find it’s naturally who i am, anyway.
I feel happier than i have in a long time, but in answer to your question, it’s hard mental work, and it won’t work if you don’t believe in it.
Everyone’s got there own path
Hi Jasmine,
You say you “practice it all the time.” What is it you practice? Information doesn’t change lives; eliminating the beliefs that cause problems have the problems stop.
You say: I still have so many beliefs i’d like to dissolve but am stuck inside of. It’s frustrating, but i work at it every day, and i see little improvements here and there, but it’s frustrating to know something intellectually but not grasp it in real life.
No need to keep “working on it.” You have several ways to eliminate the beliefs causing your problems and dissatisfaction.
1. Call us for individual phone or Skype sessions. We will help you be specific about your issues, find the beliefs causing them, and help you eliminate them. (415) 506-4472
2. Buy the Natural Confidence program that helps you eliminate 19 of the most common beliefs and the four conditionings that underlie most issues. For more info: http://naturalconfidenceprogram.com
3. Learn how to eliminate any belief yourself. We are in the middle of a course now and a new one will start shortly. http://www.lefkoeuniversity.com/offer/
You don’t need to keep suffering.
Love, Morty
Makes perfect sense…….but how does this fit in with overcoming procrastination??
Enjoyed the case study of your mum-in-law……sweet!
I think it takes time, we’re bombarded by slogans telling us to ‘live a more meaningful existence’ for many people giving meaning to something is a way of securing the constant change that surrounds us. it’s that idea that if we admit we don’t know what the meaning exactly is we will fall into some existential abyss, when the joy of living is in fact not knowing because then there is so much to learn and discover. But it’s scary, the great unknown.
Hi Morty,
I understand Your confusion.
I discussed something similar with another therapist even yesterday!
Let me explain it evolutionary: (and sry for the quality of my English)
In older times, when humans lived in caves, and even later, when they lived in tribe, the individuums had to stay in a clan. If they choosed to leave the clan and to it their own way, this could mean the death (no food, cold, getting killed, no partner) – in other words – we estimate that most of our grand-grand parents … stayed in the clan.
So we formed subconscious / instintiv fonctions to keep the clan together.
The clan-thought-body doesn’t really care about the feelings of an individuum.
Using Mortys words, it doesn’t care to put limited belief in the clanmenbers – to assure they stay loyal to the clan.
In industrynations – nowerdays those patterns still survived, but less on the surface.
In balkan and muslimic nations, its really hard.
The clan wants to “own” in your brain everything what you do and you archive.
With this mentality – it can control it. It put a competition where there is no competition (meeningless event)
Parents do it with their children (so they stay in the clan – or nowerdays in the society)
Siblings do it to each others.
It forms a big painbody. This painbody prevents that there are too many leaders who really know what freedom is. (the clan doesn’t want You to have freedom, it only cares you survive and serve to the clan)
Leaving the clan makes pain. Destroiing patterns (could mean death in older times) leads to pain.
Taking part in a surfacial competition (society), we get our role, by limited beliefs.
Leeving this role causes pain for evolutionary reasons.
I hope You got my point.
@Remy, You got IT right.
Paradigm conditioning, according to, Bob Proctor.
I stopped by to contribute HABIT, is what keeps U$ stuck in vicious.
When we try to change our habits, we are left with abit.
Some will make more effort and we still have bit.
A few have another go only to realize we still have it.
Then we try replacing it, with another habit.
Morty, there may be subconscious connections as, Remy, implies.
Universal mind, cosmic consciousness, or genetic imprinting, may
rewrite fail code where it resists.
I felt a severe emotional impact imprint change me permanently, I quit smoking, my fifth and last time. Such an impact may come from realizing a habit is not even ours. Habits may belong to species, more than to individuals. Human livestock wranglers may prefer herds remain fear manageable.
Be patient Morty, feudalism was not destroyed in a day, nor did Moses enter the promised land. See 100th monkey theory. Vincent van Gogh
never sold a painting. Keep painting, Morty.
No sacrifice is too great, for god to ask. . . someone else to make.
amazing analogy – I think it is exactly what is going on
David Wong popularized this idea as “The MonkeySphere” and Robin Dunbar came up with Dunbar’s number
Right now I am reading a book written in 1971 called “When I Say No I feel Guilty” and it lays out, one by one, the childish beliefs our parents teach us in order to emotionally manipulate us into doing what they want without themselves having to go into (totally natural) “fight or flight” mode.
Maybe because they have to experience it first before believing it actually works?
I wanted to have a look at the videos, but the link http://lefkoefreedomcourse.com/ gives me an Error 404 – Page Not Found
Cheers
Hi Vincent,
Sorry you had a problem accessing the videos. Try it again. It is working now.
Love,Morty
Maybe people give meaning to events because its something thr happens, and there’s meaning as to why they do it.