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Do you have memories that recur from time to time that are painful? Are there events from the past that upset you every time you recall them? Events such as breaking up after a long-term love affair, or getting fired from a job, or not getting something you had expected to get.
If so, I have some good news for you. I am going to show you how you can quickly and easily dissolve the meaning you gave those “painful” events so that you will be able to recall them without the emotional discomfort that usually accompanies them.
Dissolve the meaning and the emotion also will disappear
If you are reading this you probably have eliminated at least one belief using the Lefkoe Belief Process and have experienced (in addition to intellectually understanding) that events have no inherent meaning.
All meaning resides in our mind, not in events. Meaningless events can’t produce emotions, except in relatively infrequent cases of stimulus conditioning. Consequently, most of our emotions arise from the meaning we assign events.
That being the case, dissolving the meaning you give events automatically will dissolve the emotions that accompany those events.
I have been teaching people how to use the Lefkoe Occurring Process (LOP) to dissolve how daily events occur to them—in other words, the meaning they give them—in my Occurring Courses for the past few years.
In the last course one of the participants said that he had been able to use the LOP to dissolve the meaning he had given an event in his past. I had never thought of using the LOP that way. He reported that when he did that, both the meaning and the painful emotion that had accompanied that event dissolved and never returned. So when he had the memory again, all he recalled was the event itself, without the meaning and the emotion.
Here’s what to do
Here’s how you can do that too.
Step 1: Recall the specifics of the event, exactly what happened.
Step 2: Make a clear distinction between the event, the meaning you gave it, and the emotion that resulted from the meaning. Here’s one example from a client today. Event: When I was a child I fell when playing and broke a tooth. Meaning: When I tell my mom she will be upset and there will be chaos in the house as a result of what I did. Emotion: Anxiety.
Step 3: In order to help you clearly get that the meaning is not inherent in the event, ask yourself if you can “see” the meaning in the world. When you realize you can actually see the event but you can’t see the meaning (because it is only in your mind), you will have made a clear distinction between the event and the meaning, and the meaning will dissolve.
Step 4: Recall the earlier event. Notice that you no longer experience the meaning and the emotion that used to be attached to the event. When I asked the client to recall the earlier memory of breaking her tooth, she said that the anxiety she had always felt when she had the memory was gone.
This is a simple process that literally takes only a few minutes to complete, but it can make a profound difference in your daily experience of life. Imagine being able to smile as you relive old events that used to be accompanied by painful emotions.
Share your experience
As an optional Step 5, please share your experience of doing this simple process in the “Leave a Comment” box below. I would love to hear about your successes and others will be inspired to try this process if they read about your experience.
If you found this post useful, please tell your friends and followers by using the buttons at the top of this post. I’d love to have thousands of people get rid of the pain in their painful memories.
Sign up in the box on the side to receive more information on how to use the Lefkoe Occurring Process to dissolve meaning and emotions.
If you would like information about having a Certified Lefkoe Method Facilitator help you permanently eliminate any problem in your life, please call us at (415) 506-4472.
If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to htp://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one negative belief free.
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copyright ©2012 Morty Lefkoe
Great actually….never thought it would work in real..will let all my friends know this link so that they can do something about their past memories provided if they got one. ..found this really helpful sir….thank you….
Hi Mortly,
I read your blog and found it interesting. However I have difficulties getting rid of some bad (or not) memories of my ex.
Here is the story and I would appreciate any help:
I fell in love with a guy and we moved in together. He seemed to love me, but after about 5 months he started chatting with other women (some were in other countries) and trying to get close to them promising them that he would go there to meet them.While with me he found a woman in a different state who he wanted to help to move to a different state, meet her and see if they would get along. He also went on dating sites and tried to meet other women this way. I confronted him and he said he’d give up, but he did not completely. He finally moved out and felt like we are our own way. He says that he misses and love me, but met a few women and spent his vacation without me.There are other issues regarding money. Like he runs out of money a week after he gets paid. Then he was borrowing money from m, but gave it back to me, most of it. He always expected me to have money to put down for trips. These facts became very annoying and I had hard time helping him this way. I’ve been trying to get him out of my mind, but I can’t. What can I do? Thank you.
I need some help with an old issure…..
For the past couple of years, I’ve been “working to forgive” a former co-worker who really knew how to push my buttons. There was one event in particular that would anger me upon recall.
Using the occurring process, I experienced a loosening of the intense emotions from the event itself.
It is interesting that the event itself is losing its “importance”. I don’t have to define myself as someone who is controlled by others.
l just used those steps on a very embaressing situation i recently had, i repeated the steps 5 times on the different meanings i gave to that event, and i feel noting now, the cringe worthy feelings have completely gone, is this like a simplified version of the lefkoe occuring process?
Yes, Mark,
This is a simplified version of the Lefkoe Occurring Process. You can live like that, 24/7.
Love, Morty
hello,
I am from Bangladesh. When I was 6 years old, our principal used to take drawing class. He used to slap and pull ears if we did any mistakes. I was very scared of him. One day, I didn’t do my homework. So, I went out of the class before he came and hid in the parking lot. When he found I was missing, he searched me and found me there. He was extremely angry. Dragged me by my ear from parking lot to Main gate [which was about 20-30 yards] and slapped me 10-15 times, then sent me home. I was crying so badly that it was hard to breathe. Dad called him at police station and threatened him. But after that incident I found out that if something bad happens in cartoon [like hero getting beaten] I cant control my tears and simple games like hide and seek makes me so nervous that my hands start to shake badly. Now I am 24. But still whenever I am sad and hear a slightly bad news, my hands starts to shake badly I get very nervous and start acting paranoid. My family is not a sharing and caring type. So I haven’t told anybody except two friends. Is there any way I can get past it?
Hi,
Yes, you can overcome all those early events by eliminating the beliefs you formed at the time. A few sessions with one of our certified Lefkoe Method Facilitators would make a significant difference.
Contact us for more information at (415) 506-4472. You also can contact us on Skype: mortylefkoe.
Love, Morty
Unfortunately, I can see the meaning of my event “in the world.” I do think that my painful memory shows that I’m inherently unlikable. I don’t want to share the particulars of the memory, just that it marked a turning point while I was a young girl. After the event, I became extremely depressed and self-defeating, a pattern that persists to this day.
The meanings I “saw in the world” after the event” I’m unlikable; people will (understandably) abandon me once they get to know me; and no matter how hard I work to gain respect, I won’t get it.
Others have suggested coming up with alternative meanings which are just as plausible as the ones I “saw in the world.” I have done that. For example, “teen girls can be cruel,” “maybe at that time I was acting vulnerable, so it brought out cruelty, but I didn’t deserve it” (and more along those lines).
However, it seems the original meaning holds the most power, because I truly do believe it’s the most true. I’ll re-read the post again to see if I’ve missed a point that will help me dissolve this powerfully bad memory’s meaning.
Lisa – I speak as someone who has done the Occurring Course and had some private sessions with the Lefkoe Belief Process – don’t give up! You absolutely can use this technology to eliminate this stuff from the past that affects you still. It just takes practice and focus. Give yourself a gift and take the Occurring Course or try a private session or order the Natural Confidence dvd, whatever you can do, but don’t settle for being stuck with these issues from the past.
I don´t agree you, this example is so simple, but if you really did things bad that change lives.For ex, I was a bad fatherm now a days I have a child, in fact a man at home, plent of LIMITING BELEIFS, FERAS, AND NO PURPOSE IN LIFE, CHANGING COLLEGES AFTER COLLEGES AND NO FINISH THEN How do you manage or handle this IF YOU NOW YOU ARE RESPONSBILE FOR THIS UNHAPPY LIFE, and I love my boy what can i do for him, he don´t believe me he don´t accept my help he don´t trust me and so….??
JOAO, You may benefit from taking a closer look to the meaning you’ve given yourself. It appears as though you’ve assigned a label of “bad” to your parenting which may have been the best you could do at the time. You’ve also applied the meaning that you must be “responsible” for your son’s actions. If he is the age of a man, his choices are his alone; yet you’ve applied the meaning that you are responsible. While you may want to see improvement in your relationship, his actions are independent choices and factually have nothing to do with you. Dissolving these meanings will allow you to dissolve the worry and angst which understandably can be so upsetting.
Dear morty, I have so many problems with anger at myself, embarrassment and anger about what people think of me me, that sometimes it’s difficult to identify where these beliefs and occurances are coming from. How do I find the sources of the pain when every thing is so conviluted
Hi Donny,
It can be very difficult to find and eliminate beliefs on your own, although people who have taken our Lefkoe Method Training have done it.
If you want some assistance in getting rid of the beleifs that are causing pain, we offer private one-on-one phone or Skype sessions. The price is $200 an hour during which most people eliminate 3-4 limiting beliefs.
For more information please call us at (415) 506-4472.
Love, Morty
Hi! your message was forwarded to me and I tried doing your steps…..it’s very hard to disconnect. What happened to me was that at my age of 43yrs…. I have never gotten in trouble with the police of any nature until now. I am separated from my husband and had a roommate who has prior DUI’s with the police. At the time, my landlord was supposed to do a background check on this guy and did not share any information with me other than “all is ok.” If I would have known…..I would never had allowed him to move in. We had gotten into a disagreement of my asking him to leave within 30 days because of his irresponsible behavior and a severe slob. I had a second job that I needed to be at during this arguement. He would not allow me to shut my garage door electronically so I proceeded manually. He got in the way and said that I hurt his hand……which he turned around and called the police on me because I did that on purpose. I spent a weekend in jail charged with “3rd degree assault.” I am still appauled…as I was calm and quiet as he had yelled at me the entire time we argued…… this upsets me severely and now I am not sure what will happen on my court date, July 9th. I am not familiar with the judicial system when involving the law……. so the fact that I am the mercy of the state is very upsetting to me…..not to mention that my husband and I had to switch residents because when I got out of jail…..I could not go home with that man living there. He is now out and I am home again….but this still devastates me. How do I get past this???
Hi Tricia,
I can see why you would be upset with all that you describe, but if you are able to make a clear distinction between the actual events and the meaning you are giving the events, the meaning and the feelings caused by the meaning will dissolve.
The video explains how to do this. The Lefkoe Occurring COurse spends 10 weeks teaching you how to do this all the time.
Love, Morty
Greetings,
What if the “meaning” is 1) an (at the time that the event occurred) unconscious intention/motivation that was self-destructive and only recently has become conscious as to its nature and/or 2) in fact, real physical (and allied emotional consequence) damage occurred ….. as opposed to a simply conceptual (thoughts, ideas) “in the mind” meaning ……. ?
Rick, here’s what I’ve been learning and practicing in the Occurring Course: First there’s the EVENT: whatever actually happened in physical reality – I did this, she said that, etc. Anyone who saw it would agree, yes, that happened. Then look and see what is the MEANING you have given to that event? Meaning is a conclusion you make about the event, it’s not intention, motivation, or physical or emotional damage. The event may well have had consequences, but that’s not the meaning you gave it. What does it Mean to you that it happened? What conclusion did you draw from it about yourself, or someone else, or how things are. When you can see clearly that the meaning is something you made up, and separate from the actual event, the feelings about it will dissolve.
Great advice! Thanks for sharing…
Yes! I did the process on an event from my early teen years, which always made me feel ashamed and bad about myself, and those feelings are no longer there. It’s a powerful way to let go of the past.
Hi John,
Glad to hear you find my posts enjoyable. Thanks for sharing them.
Love,Morty
Morty- I enjoy your insights-I will start featuring them on my FB page. John