If you’re an expert in a certain field, many people think that you are supposed to have all the answers and never make a mistake. I’m not so sure about that. I think I am an expert in the fields of human behavior and change and I certainly don’t have all the answers and I make mistakes all the time.
One mistake I’ve made was thinking that because most people think they can “see” their beliefs “in the world,” everyone could. When I realized I had made a mistake, I had a breakthrough. Actually, “mistakes” are like course corrections, in other words, you realize that your solution to a problem isn’t working, which gives you the opportunity to find an even better solution—a breakthrough.
Here’s how my mistake led me to a breakthrough that will be beneficial to millions of people.
The Lefkoe Belief Process (LBP) is so effective because people using it unlearn their beliefs. In other words, most (visual) people think that they can “see” the belief as inherent in the events that gave rise to the belief. For example, if your parents were critical when you didn’t live up to their expectations, you might conclude I’m not good enough. At the time it would seem to you as if mom and dad’s comments and behavior inherently meant I’m not good enough. So it seems like the meaning we ascribe to events is inherent in the events, as if you can “see” the belief “in” the events, just like yellow is inherent in a lemon.
When you realize the belief (the meaning you ascribe to the event) is not “in the world,” that it is only in your mind, the belief is unlearned and rarely comes back.
The Lefkoe Belief Process worked with thousands of clients
For over 20 years we used the LBP effectively with thousands of clients. There were always some who said they didn’t see the belief, or they said they saw the events but didn’t know what we meant when we asked if they could see the belief. And some people replied: “I didn’t see the belief; I felt it.”
Because most people could see the belief and then unlearn it when they realized they couldn’t really see it in the world, I assumed that everyone should be able to do it. When they said anything other than “I did see it,” we assumed we were not being clear and we tried to explain over and over what we meant so they would agree that they saw the belief. That was my mistake.
After many years I finally realized that not everyone is visual and that emotionally kinesthetic (K) people (about 10-15% of the population) know reality more through their feelings than visually.
So I added a couple of steps to the LBP for these people. This revised LBP was more effective than the original version for many K people, but many of them told us that their beliefs came back after a couple of days or a couple of months. Sometimes if they used the LBP with the new “K” steps several times on the same belief, it stopped coming back, but not always.
We needed a new process for K people
Finally I decided we needed a brand new process for K people. After getting feedback from a lot of K people and having several of our Certified Lefkoe Method Facilitators trying different versions of a new LBP-K Process with different clients, we had a new process. We are now on version 14 and, based on a lot of feedback, it seems to work almost all the time to permanently eliminate beliefs for K people.
I promised in last week’s post that I would provide the actual steps of the LBP-K Process for those of you who are K or who want to help K friends of yours eliminate a belief. I can’t guarantee that everyone will be successful using this process without training, but some of you might and it’s worth trying.
Please leave any questions or comments in the comment section below.
Lefkoe Belief Process-K
To be used instead of the LBP when client is clearly kinesthetic
1. Close your eyes, go inside, and find your feeling related to (words of the belief). Just try to experience this feeling as fully as you can right now.
2. What are the earliest events in your life that seemed to cause the feeling, (words that represent the belief)? What was going on?
3. What are several different meanings or interpretations you can now give the same earlier events? [Help the client identify three additional interpretations or meanings.]
4. If the earlier events can have many different meanings, can you get that there isn’t a single inherent meaning? In other words, do you know anything for certain as a result of the events? [The answer should be: no.]
5. Is it real to you that the feeling you had as a child and still have today is the result of the meaning you gave the meaningless events you just mentioned? [The answer should be: yes.]
6. The feeling feels very true, doesn’t it? … Imagine being a little kid and experiencing the events you just described right now. Also imagine giving the events happening to you right now in your imagination a different meaning. Choose a different meaning from the list of alternative interpretations you just created. What meaning do you want to use? … When you do, do you still feel (words that represent the feeling)? [The answer should be: no].
7. Is it real to you if you had given the same earlier events a different meaning at the time, you would have had a different feeling then? [The answer should be: yes]. And if you had a different feeling then, how do you think you would feel today? [The answer should be: “the same”].
Also, notice that a feeling that you experienced as absolutely true disappeared when you gave the events a different meaning.
8. Now imagine being a little kid and experiencing very different circumstances. (Describe very different circumstances to the client). As these different events are happening to you, do you still have the feeling represented by (words that represent the feeling)? [The answer will be: no]. If you didn’t have the feeling (words that represent the feeling) then, do you think you would today? [The answer should be: no]. Again, if your feeling (words that represent the feeling) really is true, then changing the earlier circumstances shouldn’t change the feeling, should it?
9. Go inside. Is the feeling (words that represent the feeling) still there? [The answer should be: no.]
10. Now say the words of the belief. … Do the words still feel true? [The answer should be: no.]
copyright © 1997-2014 Morty Lefkoe
A PERSONAL NOTE TO MY READERS:
There’s nothing new to report regarding my health since my last update.
I cannot thank you enough for the hundreds of messages of love and support. And I know that many of you who haven’t written have been sending me love and support also.
Thanks for loving me. I love you too.
Thanks for reading my blog. Please post your questions or comments about the need for self-discipline. Disagreement is as welcome as agreement. Your comments add value for thousands of readers. I love to read them all and I will respond to as many as I can.
If you want others to improve their lives as you have with the information on my posts, please share this blog post with them by using the buttons located below.
If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to our belief-unlearning program where you can eliminate several limiting beliefs free.
You also can find out about Natural Confidence, an interactive digital program that enables you to eliminate 19 of the most common beliefs, which cause some of the most common behavioral and emotional problems we face.
Copyright © 2014 Morty Lefkoe
Morty, it occurs to me that this new process could be combined with the other processes but paying particularly close attention to an answer to the following question that could be added (like maybe step 5):
Instead of “Is it real to you that the feeling you had as a child and still have today is the result of the meaning you gave the meaningless events you just mentioned?” maybe you could ask, (5a) Would you say that this is more like a feeling you have that (words) or would you say that this is more something you know to be true that (words)?
I’m sure you can see that this would then lead to treating the belief as something they know (see) or something they feel before you ask, “Is it real to you that the feeling you had as a child and still have today is the result of the meaning you gave the meaningless events you just mentioned?” You could then ask a different question at this point which would lead to them seeing it and then not seeing it if they “know” it’s true or they saw it.
Morty,
I am interested in knowing what your thoughts are regarding the pros and cons of creating a youth public service message and eventually perhaps a series of videos or a forum broadcasted on the public broadcasting television that is designed to share with students the benefits of going through a program based upon your natural confidence program? My 14 year old son has recently become a member of the legislative youth advisory council to the state senate. Even though he is young, he is able to communicate clearly (and live) the very heart of messages that impact people in a positive way.
I have experienced a profound change in my life since applying your natural confidence program approximately one year ago. I have experienced a sense of peace that is coming from the joy of daily seeing my son grow so so so strong in every area of his life. Even though his father recently passed away unexpectedly, I know that my son is healing and growing with an even more passion and appreciation for life.
Using mother’s instinct, I sense that my son is at a pivotal place in his life. I sense that the improvement of other people’s lives (and in particular Youth) through the provision of your message of eliminating limiting beliefs and access to your practical “user-friendly” techniques of growing natural confidence is critical. I believe my son, through the platform of the state’s Legislative Youth Advisory Council, is the person that could deliver and live this message. He (and perhaps you if you are called to do so in your heart) could help this council to develop a club, program, series of messages/videos, booklet, etc. that would pivot my son from being able to grow and help only those who are in his every day life… to a much broader scale throughout our state’s school system.
I suspect that you are using time, resources and energy already in expanding healing & strength of your own body and life as well as your clients’ lives. If you are struck with any thoughts, experiences, ideas or resources (methods, exercises, techniques, programs, websites &/or products) that you could share with us as we are moving through this phase of “brainstorming” & “thinking outside the box” in how to bring your message as the seed of solution to so many of our Louisiana youth’s needs… please share them with this mother.
Note: I ride and love horses. I raise, help and love my son (& the youth of our community). I respect, am inspired by and pray in full love for your healing.
Hi Morty,
I’m so pleased you’ve done this! As a K person, I tried the earlier version several times and stopped each time it came to “seeing” it. It made no sense to me and although I understand visual, auditory, kinesthetic it just put me off continuing.and I turned to other things.
The other aspect of your experience with this issue is that I have developed tremendous respect for your courage and integrity. To have created, used and promoted your earlier system for so long and then to have to go back to the drawing board could have been very difficult for some people and you have set me a truly wonderful example of honesty, vulnerability and authenticity. Bless you for that. xx
Ha! I was sitting thinking about something I’d done and wondering if it was a mistake
I had just literally asked my angels have i made a mistake here when bing went my phone. I looked and it was this post coming in. Thank you.
Thanks Morty so much for this! I’ve been waiting for such a long time for this.
Anyways, on Step #8 when you have the client imagine very different circumstances, for example, say you are eliminating the belief “Change is Difficult”. Would the very different circumstances be the exact opposite of what led to the belief (like you trying to change and finding it very easy?) Or is it something else.
That was the only part where I wasn’t 100% sure of what you meant. I’d appreciate it if you could clarify that. Have a wonderful day,
Ted
Hi Ted,
Yes, I mean the exact opposite or as close as you can get.
Love,Morty
Thanks Morty for clearing that up!
Here’s another distinction that I wanted to share with you. “So the way to tell if you are kinesthetic or visual is to figure out how you try to justify the meaning. For example, with me, I see the events like everyone else, however, I look toward my emotions first. It’s like the emotions I’m having is verifying what I think is true. I’m sure for other people (who are visual), they let what they think they “see” (the events), determine what they know about reality. And the emotion just comes after.
So it’s not the fact that some people are more emotionally oriented or visually stimulated than others. It’s about how each person goes about looking for evidence to justify what they think they know about reality. Some people use their emotions, other use what they see.
Again, thank you for helping me reach this brilliant distinction!
Have a blessed day Morty,
Ted