Most people want to avoid imbalance. We want to feel that we’re taking care of all aspects of our lives in a way that feels right. Yet, in today’s fast-paced world, achieving and maintaining balance is about as easy as juggling a broken bottle, razor blades, and a chainsaw.
So how can we create life balance in an increasingly out-of-balance world?
To answer this question, we’ll discuss the following three topics.
A: How avoidance patterns keep us from establishing balance
B: Why compulsive patterns put all our eggs in a broken basket
C: How do we change the beliefs that cause our unwanted patterns
Let’s see how we handle avoidance patterns first.
A: How avoidance patterns keep us from establishing balance
Sometimes, we avoid working on an area of our lives. Maybe we have a friend we’d like to speak to more, but think, “I’ll be bothering her.” Or maybe you’ve been meaning to focus on fitness, but you often feel too tired in the evening to go to the gym or even go on a walk.
We call these avoidance patterns. There’s something we want to do, but we can’t seem to get ourselves to do it. When we’re stuck in an avoidance pattern, we often think, “Tomorrow will be better,” but will tomorrow really be any different? A thousand promises about tomorrow later, and you know the answer.
Why do we avoid actions we know would be good for us?
If you’ve been reading my other articles, you know the answer. It’s limiting beliefs. Beliefs that tell us that it’s too hard to solve the problem, make the change, or do something different. Often, these are beliefs about ourselves, such as “I’m not good enough,” or beliefs about the activity “Exercise is painful.”
As long as you have a belief in the way, you’ll struggle to take actions you’ve been avoiding for years. However, avoidance patterns are not the only obstacle to balance. We also have another type of pattern that gets in the way, which we discuss next.
B: Why compulsive patterns put all our eggs in a broken basket
Sometimes, imbalance comes from doing so much of one thing that there isn’t time for other things. If you feel compelled to work twice as hard as your colleagues, spend weeks perfecting things only you will notice, or feel the need to make everyone like you, then you may be experiencing a compulsive pattern.
If you feel OK doing these things, then this kind of pattern isn’t really a problem. But if you miss out on other activities that can make your life feel full, then it can be useful to change them.
In many cases, a compulsive pattern is caused by beliefs that say you have to do something in order to be something. The person compelled to work extra hard had the belief, “What makes me good enough is achieving.” The person who spent so much time perfecting things believed, “What makes me good enough is doing things perfectly.” And the person who needed to make everyone happy believed, “The way to be important is to make others think well of me.”
C: How do we change the beliefs that cause our unwanted patterns
Once you find a limiting belief, you can change it by answering the following questions.
- What are the earliest events that led to your belief?
- What else could those events mean?
- Is the meaning in the events or in the mind?
- How would I have felt back then had I given the events a different meaning?
- Does my belief still seem true?
We guide you into eliminating a belief in much greater detail in our free videos found at http://www.recreateyourlife.com/free
Check them out if you haven’t eliminated a belief yet.
Now, you may still have a big question about whether life balance is always possible.
But aren’t some imbalances caused by situations …
… such as having a demanding job or being a caretaker for a sick family member?
It would seem so, wouldn’t it? Certainly, if we have a demanding job, we choose to meet those demands, but if that’s the only way to put food on the table, it doesn’t feel like we have another option. And if we care for a sick family member, we may not want to consider dropping that responsibility just so we can have more time to play.
In the book Re-Thinking Positive Thinking, we learn of Charlie, a college student who took time off school to help care for his ailing grandmother. He struggles to deal with the stress of the situation, as does the rest of his family.
Charlie describes his challenge:
“I was having a hard time [ ] taking time out for me, to keep myself healthy. I felt guilty asking my uncle to look after my grandmother for a few minutes so I could get away.”
In this kind of situation, there’s often no responsible way to have total life balance. But even small acts of self-care made Charlie feel guilty. When he overcame the beliefs that caused the guilt, he was able to finally care for himself.
“I couldn’t do anything about my grandmother’s illness—she was going to die. But I could find ways of coping, so that I could handle her illness gracefully.”
As you can see, changing beliefs creates new possibilities, even in the direst of circumstances.
To sum up
Avoidance patterns keep us from having balance in life as they cause us to avoid the very actions that would produce balance.
Compulsive behavior patterns keep us from having balance by causing us to spend too much time on some areas and not enough on others.
To change beliefs, you can ask yourself the following questions
- What are the earliest events that led to your belief?
- What else could those events mean?
- Is the meaning in the events or in the mind?
- How would I have felt back then had I given the events a different meaning?
- Does my belief still seem true?
Changing beliefs can even help you gain some balance in situations such as Charlie’s, where balance seems impossible.
Don’t let your beliefs stop you from having a balanced and beautiful life.
How to eliminate the beliefs that keep you from having a balanced life
When we try to fix our lives, we often start something new, like an exercise program, or attempt to stop something harmful, like eating out too much. But too often, these changes are short-lived.
Why?
Limiting beliefs get in our way.
We may have beliefs causing us to avoid our goals or beliefs driving us to take actions that give us little time to act on our highest intentions.
Wouldn’t it be great if there was a way to find and eliminate these beliefs?
Well, you don’t have to imagine it. We’ve created it.
Presenting: The Natural Confidence Program
In Natural Confidence, we help you identify and eliminate 19 beliefs that hold almost everyone back from their goals. Each belief can be eliminated in 20-30 minutes. So, in around 10 hours, you can have a lifetime of freedom.
See for yourself here: http://www.NaturalConfidenceProgram.com
