Leave the past in the past | The Lefkoe Institute

Many psychotherapists tell us that our current difficulties are a direct result of our childhoods. As a result many people “blame” their parents for any upsets or suffering they experience as adults.

When you eliminate a belief using the Lefkoe Belief Process it becomes quite clear that what happened to you as a child has no impact at all on you as an adult. What runs your life today is the meaning you are giving those childhood events.

This is not merely a semantic difference. If your life were controlled by childhood events, you would never be able to get free of those events because the events did occur and there’s nothing you can do to have them not have occurred.

Moreover, if your upsets and suffering today really were a function of what mom and dad did and said to you as a child, then in a very real sense your problems today would be their “fault.” And if that were the case, it would make sense to “blame” them for your difficulties today.

On the other hand, if your life today is a function of the meaning you gave those events, meaning you now hold as beliefs, then you can change that meaning at any time and become totally free of your childhood.

Take a moment and reread the last paragraph. When you really get it, your life will transform.

And if your feelings and behavior are the result of beliefs (and conditionings) you formed in childhood, beliefs and conditionings that easily can be eliminated as an adult, then fault and blame become irrelevant.

Your parents acted the way they did because of their beliefs, just as you act the way you do because of your beliefs. Sure, it would have been nice if they had had some parenting training and had eliminated a bunch of beliefs that would have enabled them to be better parents. But—no matter what happened during your childhood interactions with your parents—you can have your life today be whatever you want it to be.

So we need to stop blaming our parents for what doesn’t work in our lives, eliminate the beliefs that are causing our upsets and suffering today, and then go out and create the lives we want.

If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using The Lefkoe Method, go to http://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one limiting belief free.

Thanks for reading my blog. Comments and questions are welcomed.

Follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/mortylefkoe and join our fan page on Facebook (The Lefkoe Institute) to get our latest insights on the role of beliefs in our lives.

By Morty LefkoePublished On: Tuesday, May 19, 2009Categories: Uncategorized4 CommentsTags: beliefs, blame, childhood, conditionings, core beliefs, fault, meaning

Ayala May 31, 2009 at 10:44 pm - Reply

I did the public speaking DVDs and they did not work for me. I can see that if someone had a difficult childhood with their parents it could perhaps be easier to do these DVDs . However, I found it difficult since my parents actually were very skilled and did take parenting classes.
manasi k. May 20, 2009 at 8:27 am - Reply

Hi Morty!
Thank u so much for everything that u are doing. I can see that my life is changing just b’coz my thinking & beliefs are changing! Thanks once again & plz keep writing.
Pamela May 20, 2009 at 5:06 am - Reply

Thank you Morty !
you made it really clear.
Pam
Michael Valenti May 19, 2009 at 5:58 pm - Reply

Thanks for handing these insights out for free, Morty. Please don’t worry that you don’t get enough feedback. Many will read but not comment. You are doing great work. I did the Lefkoe method on my limiting beliefs and had some real growth experiences. I really recommend your method to everybody.

The question of letting the past rule us is really important and I can see now that you are right, that it is our beliefs which we don’t question which keep us stuck in our suffering.

Thanks again, and please keep writing.

Michael Valenti, MD

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