Most of us live life on autopilot. We wake up, rush to work, run errands, drive the kids around, make dinner, and collapse into bed—only to do it all again tomorrow. Our self-care gets squeezed into whatever cracks remain in our schedule if it happens at all.
Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and before we know it, we’re exhausted, depleted, and wondering how we ended up here. Why? Because we never pause to intentionally consider: How do I want my life to be? What do I want it to look like? How can I prioritize my well-being?
Why We Put Ourselves Last
Why don’t we prioritize self-care? Because we all have beliefs that keep our behavior on automatic pilot.
If you believe “other people’s needs are more important than mine” or “putting yourself first is selfish,” you’ll naturally find yourself taking care of everyone else first. This manifests in real ways: you’ll skip your workout to help a colleague, stay up late finishing tasks for others while neglecting your own rest, or eat whatever is convenient because you’ve spent all your energy meeting others’ needs.
If you believe “what makes me good enough are my achievements,” you’ll spend more time at the office than taking care of your body. You’ll check emails at 10 PM instead of winding down for quality sleep. You’ll skip meals or eat at your desk to squeeze in more work, all because your belief system has convinced you that productivity trumps well-being.
These aren’t just abstract ideas—they’re powerful forces that shape every decision you make throughout your day, often without your conscious awareness. When you believe “I must be perfect,” you’ll exhaust yourself trying to meet impossible standards instead of practicing self-compassion and reasonable self-care.
Our beliefs determine what we do and what we don’t do. They’re the invisible script running in the background of our lives, influencing everything from what we eat for breakfast to whether we make time for ourselves at all.
The Power of Intentional Self-Care
By becoming intentional about what you want your life to look like, you can transform your relationship with yourself. This starts with recognizing a fundamental truth: this body is taking you through the rest of your life.
Personally, I want to live a full, vibrant life. When my daughter asks, “Mom, want to go hiking?” I don’t ask how high, how long, or how far—I just say yes. That makes me feel young, alive, and vibrant.
Given those beliefs, I’m at the gym six days a week. It’s not something I debate each morning, even if I’ve only had five hours of sleep. I just go. My belief that “my health enables my freedom” translates directly into consistent action. When that alarm goes off, I don’t negotiate with myself—my beliefs have already made the decision for me.
This is what happens when your beliefs align with your intentions. The daily struggle disappears. You don’t have to force yourself to practice self-care; it becomes as natural and necessary as breathing. Your actions flow from your beliefs rather than fighting against them.
How to Become More Intentional With Self-Care
The first step is to stop and think: Am I genuinely taking care of myself?
Ask yourself:
- What kind of food am I putting into my body? Does it have positive energy? Is it clean and healthy?
- Am I exercising regularly?
- Do I sleep well?
- Am I making time for relaxation and rejuvenation?
So many of us get caught on a treadmill of responsibilities. We fill our lives with obligations until there’s no room left for ourselves. But this approach doesn’t serve anyone—not you, and not the people you care about.
I once told my children, “My mother always put us first. Her belief was that putting your children first was the most important thing in life. I remember being a child and wishing that she took better care of herself.”
Sometimes I’d say to my kids, “What you want is very important. Mommy needs to take a bath right now. I need to relax from the day, and then you’ll have a full mommy who’s ready to be with you instead of an exhausted mommy.”
Getting Started With Intentional Self-Care
Begin by making a commitment to yourself. Decide to treat yourself and your needs as important.
The truth is, when you’re at your best, you’ll be better at work, a better parent, and better in your relationships. When your needs are met, you’ll be more available to the people and priorities in your life—because you’re okay.
One of the most powerful steps you can take is to identify the beliefs standing in your way. Ask yourself: “What do I believe that keeps me from taking care of myself?” Then, observe how these beliefs affect your daily choices:
- Does your belief that “there’s never enough time” cause you to schedule back-to-back meetings without breaks?
- Does your belief that “showing weakness is bad” prevent you from getting enough rest when you’re tired?
- Does your belief that “I must earn love through service” keep you constantly doing for others while neglecting yourself?
When you connect your beliefs to specific actions (or inactions), you can begin to see the direct cause-and-effect relationship playing out in your life. This awareness is the first step toward change.
We all know exercise is important. Sleep is important. Eating healthily is important. This isn’t controversial. We know what to do, but we don’t do it because our beliefs block us—belief by belief, choice by choice, moment by moment throughout our day.
One of the most common limiting beliefs is “I’m not important.” If you’re not sure whether you have this belief, ask yourself what makes you important then wait for the answer.
Now ask yourself, “If I didn’t do, be, or have that thing, would I still feel important?”
When you truly know you’re important—when you don’t need to win, get straight A’s, achieve, or please people to feel worthy—you naturally prioritize your well-being.
Ready to Transform Your Self-Care?
If you’re struggling to overcome the beliefs keeping you from taking care of yourself, I’m here to help. I invite you to book a free strategy session with me where we can identify your limiting beliefs and create a plan for intentional self-care.
Your well-being matters. It’s time to make it a priority.
