How to discover the real reason we avoid taking an action

Every year firefighters are injured when they slide down fire poles too fast. But despite the danger, thousands of fire stations contain these poles. Why?

The answer: horses.

Before the gas engine, horses transported firemen to a burning building. They kept these horses in their firehouses. Firemen lived on the second floor to keep horses from invading their space. However, sometimes a curious horse would climb the stairs, which caused a problem. Horses can’t walk downstairs. So in 1878, Company 21 in New York got rid of the stairs and installed the first firepole. The horse problem was solved.

When we avoid taking an action, the real reason for our avoidance is often just as hidden from view as the real reason firefighters used fire poles. Fortunately, we have a specific process to uncover this “real reason” called Avoidance Discovery.

Avoidance discovery is the process of uncovering the beliefs that cause us to put off an important action

We all have things we keep meaning to do but never get around to doing. Avoidance discovery helps you figure out what you are really avoiding so you can get on with it.

Avoidance discovery has five steps

First, take note of what specific action you are avoiding.

It does no good to be vague, you need a concrete action for this process to work. So if you want to write a book, “writing a book” is not specific enough. Instead, you might need, “Sit down for 20 minutes to list 20 ideas for topics.” Yes, you need to be that specific.

Second, imagine taking that action.

See yourself at your desk typing out that dreaded email, putting your name on the tax form, or dialing up that crush you’ve been meaning to call.

Third, notice the feelings that come up as you imagine taking this action.

You may feel fear, annoyance, apathy, or some other emotion. Get as clear on your feeling as you can.

Fourth, notice the thoughts that show up as you imagine taking this action.

Pause to let thoughts emerge. They always do. Our minds can’t shut up for long.

Fifth, guess what you might believe that causes these thoughts and feelings.

I know “guess” might seem like too flimsy a word, but you may find that your best guesses actually lead you somewhere. Don’t try too hard to figure out the perfect wording for your belief. Just list out ideas. One of them will seem to hit paydirt eventually. You’ll know this belief is one that is holding you back.

Several years ago, we had a client who was putting off all sorts of things

He had a vacation to schedule and kept putting it off even though his company threatened to take away unused vacation time. When he imagined planning the vacation, he felt uncomfortable. His thought, “I’ll screw it up.”

So what did he believe that had him assume he’ll screw up the vacation planning?

We found two beliefs that day. “Mistakes are bad” and “I’m not capable.” “I’m not capable” had him assume he’d “screw it up,” and “Mistakes are bad” would make him feel bad if he did.

But don’t we sometimes avoid doing something because we forgot?

Sometimes. And if so, you can set reminders, post notes, and do all sorts of things to help you remember. What stopped you from doing these things? Probably the same thoughts and feelings that stopped you from remembering to act when it was time to do so.

Summary

To find out what beliefs keep you from taking an action, do the following:

• First, note down a specific action you are putting off.
• Second, imagine taking that action.
• Third, notice the feelings that come up as you imagine taking this action.
• Fourth, notice the thoughts that show up as you imagine taking this action.
• Fifth, guess what you might believe that causes these thoughts and feelings.

Do all of this, and most of the time, you’ll find at least one belief in the way of action. Your next step will be to go through the belief process to eliminate it. That way, you’ll be able to slide into the next step on your big project more easily.

How to Eliminate the 19 Beliefs That Stop You from Taking Action

When you set a challenging goal, does a little voice creep in asking, “Can I really do this?” Do you get a little nervous, worried you’ll fail in some way? Do you feel that you are not really moving ahead with full force but instead are driving with the brakes on?

When that inner voice of doubt is silenced and you feel truly confident, you take action. You follow through. You feel like a train moving at full steam ahead with nothing in your way but the air. Life becomes an adventure.

How do we get to this place of living free of the inner doubts that plague so many of us?

One answer is the Natural Confidence Program.

When we’re learning to walk, we keep trying no matter how often we fall. And we fall hundreds of times. Yet somehow along the way, we learned to give up after just a few dozen tries. We doubt ourselves. We learned to hesitate. We may even have learned not to risk at all. When you eliminate the beliefs in this program, you’ll find that you reclaim the confidence we were all born with. You reclaim your persistence. You reclaim the optimism of a child.

See for yourself here: www.NaturalConfidenceProgram.com