“Remember then: there is only one time that is important – Now! It is the most important time because it is the only time over which we have any power.”
– Leo Tolstoy
To stay connected with my daughters, who live far from me, I send Blake and Britt a mindfulness card that I pick from a deck.
Today’s was awesome:
If you’re depressed, you’re living in the past.
If you’re anxious, you’re living in the future.
If you’re at peace, you’re living in the present.
Being in the present means being with who or what is in this moment. It is grace.
Living in the past is not satisfying because the past is, well, past. When we live in the future, we’re missing out on what’s happening right now. Plus, no one can predict the future.
What I wouldn’t give to be sitting next to Morty on the porch reading next to each other or walking in the farmer’s market holding hands. Those moments are precious, and we often don’t fully enjoy them because we’re not present.
The only thing that keeps us from living in the present is the meaning we gave something that happened.
Imagine your boss tells you he wants to see you in her office at 9:30 AM. You begin to feel anxious and start to worry. Boom! You’re in the future. What happened? You gave what she said meaning. “She’s going to fire me. Or “I’m in trouble.”
Perhaps it’s Valentine’s Day, and you don’t have a sweetheart, and you start feeling sad. “I’ll never have a relationship again.” Boom! Now you’re in the past.
In 1984 Morty and I suffered bankruptcy. We lost our beautiful home in Westport, Connecticut, and I was terrified. We woke up on January 1st and had no money and tons of debt. Morty walked into the house, and I was crying.
He said, “Honey, what’s wrong!?”
I said, “We’re losing everything.”
He said, “No, we’re not. We have our family and each other. It’s going to be fine.”
Worrying about money took me out of the present moment and into the future. Worrying comes from the meaning “Things won’t turn out.” I was in the future and he was in the present. He was grounded in the moment, knowing we would be fine.
If I had the occurring process back then, I could have used it to dissolve the meanings I was giving the events
That we were going to have to move out of Westport (we didn’t)
That we wouldn’t be able to live the lives we wanted to (we did).
That my kids would have to leave their private school (they didn’t)
This would have not only stop my suffering, but it would have allowed me to live in the present moment, where I was actually fine. I could have been at peace.
Being in the present moment is a practice.
When you are able to be in the present moment, you are being with what is happening now, rather than what you wish was happening (future) or what did happen (past). You can enjoy the simple things: a child smiling, a story your friend is telling you, a compliment a neighbor is giving you, or walking in nature. There is a whole life to be savored when you’re in the present moment.
At the end of every email that I send to my clients, I write
Anytime you have negative emotions stop and ask
What just happened
What meaning did I give what just happened
What else could it mean
What is the inherent meaning of the event (nothing)
Negative emotions keep us from feeling peaceful. We give meaning to what happened in the past (even if it was five minutes ago) and then feel unhappy, disappointed, angry or sad. When you get rid of the negative emotion, you return to the present. You are at peace.
Remember, in this moment, you are fine, and all there is is this moment.
Wondering what happened after our bankruptcy?
Morty stopped consulting for corporations and redirected our business toward one-on-one work with the belief process. As of today we have helped close to 200,000 people in virtually every country across the globe. Eventually, we moved to California and built an amazing community of friends. Life is good despite the fact that Morty is no longer with me. As so many of you know, I used the occurring process to stay present every day and that is what got me through his death.
