Is it really all going to turn out?

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I have a test for you. All you have to do to pass it is to answer one question honestly. For many of us that might be difficult because we might not want to know the answer.

Here is the question: Do you really feel that it’s all going to turn out for you?

No, I didn’t ask if you wanted it to turn out. Of course you do. I asked do you really feel, deep down, that it’s all going to turn out for you. Do you really feel you will have a long-lasting nurturing, loving relationship? That you will have financial abundance? That you will get paid to do work you are passionate about? That you will truly enjoy life?

Based on our one-on-one work with well over 13,000 clients it is clear that although most people want their lives to turn out, at the same time most fear that it never will.

My story

For a large part of my life I intended things to turn out, I wanted things to turn out, I did my best to make things turn out … but deep down, I felt that they wouldn’t. And no matter what I did or how hard I tried, and as good as things got, they never turned out the way I really wanted them to.

Because I thought that negative thoughts and feelings would keep me from getting what I wanted, I did my best to bury them so I wouldn’t know they were there. I covered them with positive thoughts and feelings, which I focused on constantly. But when things didn’t turn out the way I wanted, I had the sense: “I knew it. I knew it would never turn out the way I wanted.” I had managed to hide that sense from myself most of the time, but I never got rid of it.

Because many people committed to personal growth believe that what they focus on manifests, they are afraid of their “negative” thoughts and feelings. They suppress them. They do their best to have “positive” thoughts and feelings.

Unfortunately, underneath the layer of positivity lies the widespread sense that it is never really going to turn out.

How to deal with the fear it will never turn out for you

There is no need to live with the fear that your life is never going to turn out, whether that fear is conscious or just below the surface. So, I have a suggestion for those of you who have that sense.

First, acknowledge that you have it. Hiding it, suppressing it, pretending you don’t have it will not make it go away.

Second, identify the beliefs that cause it. Beliefs like: I’ll never get what I want. Life is difficult. I’m not deserving. I’m not worthy. I’m not good enough. It’s never going to turn out for me.

Third, eliminate the beliefs. If you eliminate the beliefs that cause the feeling that your life will never be the way you want it to be, the feeling will not merely be suppressed, it will be eliminated … forever.

When I finally eliminated the beliefs listed above and several others, my fear that my life would never be what I wanted it to be disappeared forever.

Create your own possibilities

One of the purposes of this weekly blog is to make you aware of possibilities for your life that you might not have been aware of previously. This week I want you to know that the feeling so many of us live with constantly—that our dreams will remain only dreams, never to manifest—is not the truth. No matter who you are or what your situation, that feeling is the result of beliefs. Eliminate the beliefs and the feeling will disappear.

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If you would like information about having a Certified Lefkoe Method Facilitator help you permanently eliminate any problem in your life, please call us at (415) 506-4472.

If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to htp://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one negative belief free.

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By Morty LefkoePublished On: Tuesday, July 10, 2012Categories: Uncategorized10 CommentsTags: Certified Lefkoe Method Facilitator, conditioning, fear, LBP, Lefkoe Belief Process, Lefkoe Institute, Lefkoe Occurring Process, Morty Lefkoe, occurring, The Lefkoe Method, TLM, WAIR?, Who Am I Really?

Brandon July 13, 2012 at 7:37 pm - Reply

Morty,

This EXACT subject has been on my mind for the past several months and I’ve stressed about how to deal with it. I have been acknowledging this fear but haven’t been able to shake it; partially because I have trouble finding the beliefs that underlie my feeling. Thanks so much for writing this and offering your suggestions.
Andrew Fretwell July 12, 2012 at 10:31 am - Reply

I highly recommend you read the works of Peter Levine “Waking TheTiger” I feel Morty offers an amazing service here but fails to address the way trauma is stored physiologically in the nervous system and in the cells of the body. As a body worker of over 25 years I have had countless people attending my sessions that understood with their minds and had worked on empowering beliefs but with gentle abdominal body work support information and maturity started to release undigested emotional charges stored in their body’s that allowed them to complete whatever had been frozen inside. I feel both approaches are needed releasing the shock in the nervous system and new empowering belief’s this combination works best in my experience
Lauren July 11, 2012 at 12:28 pm - Reply

Ali,
Actually it is easy to dissolve the meaning if you realize the meaning you are giving an even is just one interpretation of that event. When you come up with other equally valid reasons/interpretations, then it does dissolve or, in your words, “you release it.” I know; I’ve been doing it mainly unconsciously for the last two years. And I don’t feel like a robot either; I feel free, powerful, and strong instead of being at the mercy of my feelings. Our creation/ego, is emotional, but our consciousness is who we really are and not our thoughts, feelings, or actions. When you achieve that knowing, you realize you are neither a robot or at the mercy of your feelings. I’m not Morty, but I’ve experienced that many, many times. Hope this helps.
Love and Light on your Journey,
Lauren
ali begoun July 11, 2012 at 9:40 am - Reply

Hi Morty,
I love what you write and I’m thinking about your approach all the time in my life.
I have one sticking point that I find difficult. I would love to hear some thoughts from you.
It seems to me that even when we know that the meaning we are assigning an event is inherently meaningless, and we recognize that we can’t “see” the meaning in the way we can “see” the event, that doesn’t necessarily mean we can dissolve the meaning. Perhaps we can understand that the meaning isn’t true; however it still feels very real to us and therefore quite hard to let go.

I’m struggling with the simplicity you present around dissolving meaning. We’re emotional beings and we’re not robots. Even if something “computes” as meaningless, we can still feel it very much nonetheless. So although I feel I understand your words and I think the process of distinguishing the meaning you give an event (and the corresponding feelings you have) from the event itself is extremely powerful, I’m still unsure that that allows us to dissolve the feelings so easily. I find that they naturally pop up again, even when I do the work.
With gratitude,
Ali Begoun
- Morty Lefkoe July 11, 2012 at 12:00 pm - Reply
  
  Hi Ali,
  
  Based on my personal experience and the experience of almost 200 students in my Occurring Courses, it is possible to easily and quickly dissolve any meaning you give an event, at which point the emotions caused by the meaning dissolve also. That’s not my theory, it’s my personal experience, it’s what has happened to me and hundreds of others.
  
  But if you haven’t done it, it certainly can seem impossible or simplistic.
  
  Thanks for taking the time to comment.
  Love, Morty
Saule July 11, 2012 at 8:04 am - Reply

You are absolutely right-somewhere deep inside there is always a belief that all this will not work although when looking more closely – there is not a single reason why it should not work. Then mind readily presents various “excuses” (like it is not under your control, etc.) why it does not work. I would like to get rid of such “imbedded” belief (fear), but however the methods I tried in free programmes gave no noticeable results resulting in doubts that method can help me. Again, mind immediately gives plenty of explanations, why it did not work: there are many other beliefs, probably therefore i cannot feel anything different, and other. Therefore, although I like the concept, am still hesitating…
- Morty Lefkoe July 11, 2012 at 11:56 am - Reply
  
  Hi Saule,
  
  And now you have another belief: change is difficult if not impossible.
  
  Now you have to get rid of the original beliefs that caused you to feel your life will never turn out AND the belief you can’t do that.
  
  It is possible to eliminate beliefs but getting rid of just a few will not totally get rid of the problem.
  
  Try our Natural Confidence program that helps you eliminate 19 beliefs and four conditionings. There is an unconditional guarantee. If you don’t experience a significant change, send it back and get a full refund. http://naturalconfidenceprogram.com
  
  Also feel free to call us at (415) 506-4472 if you have anymore specific questions.
  
  Love, Morty
terrasmooth July 11, 2012 at 6:29 am - Reply

I only wonder about “when” things will fall into place… I guess impatience is one of the major things I am working on in this lifetime.
Jim July 11, 2012 at 5:33 am - Reply

My issue is that I’m afraid I won’t have enough time. My responsibilities to house and feed wife and kids keeps me in a job that takes up all of my time. I pursue my business on the after hours, but the family is pressuring me to be present then also, as well as weekends.

How do I break this cycle so I can put more time in the business and break free? I’m 50 and fear I’m running out of time.
Nicholas Godwin July 11, 2012 at 3:36 am - Reply

This is empowering. I just used this like right away on an issue with respect to an idea I was previously withholding myself from acting on, and honestly I feel this sense of release, and surge of energy to take action right away, not just because I feel motivated, but more like I feel free. Quite simple.

Thanks for this Morty. And Thanks to Steve Pavlina who introduced your site via his site, to me.

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I never miss Morty's weekly blogs. They put his work into concise and clear terms. He shows how the Lefkoe Method applies to a myriad of real human situations that cause suffering to most people. He explains how to eliminate this suffering by eliminating the core beliefs that fuel it such as "I'm a failure." He also demonstrates how his method differs from psychotherapy and is often more effective at producing long-lasting change in less time. … The blogs are different from his other services or products in that you don't need to buy them, schedule a session, or order a book. They are … brief, reader-friendly language, enough to read on a 10 minute break from work, for instance. The best part is I've seen positive changes in my own life that come directly from his blogs. This means a lot coming from a psychotherapist trained extensively in models of psychotherapy. I've also found them useful in my work with my own clients and to complement many theories of psychotherapy. I could go on effusively about Morty's magnificent blogs but I think I've already made my point.

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Thank you! I've read and considered the concept of creating my own world many many times but this is the first time I've actually experienced and felt it at my core. As you point out, it is one thing to know something intellectually and another to actually feel it and fully believe it. Thank you so much. This was truly a positive life changing experience. I will pass it on to all of my friends. I wish you every happiness and continued success.

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I have to tell you that you really broke something open for me when you shared your story about creating obstacles for yourself, because you thought your value was in how hard you could work to overcome those obstacles. Listening to you was a major "Aha!" moment for me - I realized I had been doing the same thing! I've experience enormous and recurring relief, knowing that I don't ever have to struggle again, and I'm perfectly worthwhile. Opportunities that I have been wanting for a long time have come pouring through the door since that "Aha!" moment...so thank you for putting your material out into the world!"

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