Podcast: Play in new window | Download
What do you desperately desire, that the more you get, the harder it will be to achieve your goals in life?
Answers.
Let me explain.
It seems that nothing would make most of us happier than getting the answer to our questions, such as how to improve our relationships, how to make more money, and how to get anything else we want in life.
But answers are a type of belief. They are a solution to a problem, the way to do or get something.
And like all beliefs, answers are “a truth,” not “the truth.” Like all beliefs, answers are limiting, whereas questions are constantly pointing us in the right direction. In fact, answers actually prevent learning and change. Questions make them possible. Why? …
Learning and changing are relatively easy—when we don’t think we already have the answers. Most children naturally and effortlessly acquire such complicated skills as learning how to speak and read. For children, learning is a not a difficult task.
As we grow older something happens in most of us that severely hinders our learning: we think we already know the truth—we already have the answer.
To make this assertion real, consider this:
What do you ask a lot of when you don’t know how to do something? … You ask questions, right?
What happens to the questions when you discover how to do it? … They stop, don’t they?
If you think you already know the right way to do something, how open are you to learning a better way? … You aren’t, are you?
The history of corporate icons, such as GM and Lehman Brothers, is filled with stories of companies that thought they knew how to succeed, that were convinced they had the answer for how to succeed—and that failed while still proclaiming they were doing the right thing.
You see there is no “right” way to do anything at all times under all conditions. There is only the best strategy for the moment. And as circumstances change, the best way to deal with them changes also.
That gives us a clue to an alternative for “answers.” Instead of trying to find the “right” way to do or achieve anything, look for the best way at the moment. And then keep asking the same question regularly. If your reality doesn’t change much, the best way of dealing with it probably won’t change much either. But when reality changes enough, the best way of dealing with it will change, and the old answer will no longer be a good one.
This is why in a world that is changing rapidly strategies developed early in the year at a corporate retreat usually become inappropriate long before the end of the year. The same principle is true for individuals who are constantly looking for answers for how to achieve their goals. What worked yesterday or what worked for someone else, won’t necessarily work today or for you.
Don’t ever settle for the “answer.” Always hold your answers as working hypotheses, subject to constant checking and actual revisions when necessary. Live out of questions and observe what emerges. I promise you will be more successful than if you operate out of answers derived from what worked for you yesterday or what worked for someone else.
Please share any comments you have on these thoughts on why answers prevent new learning and actually can inhibit our ability to get what we want in life.
These weekly blog posts also exist as podcasts. Sign up for the RSS feed or at iTunes to get the podcasts sent to you weekly.
If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to http://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one limiting belief free.
To purchase DVD programs that we guarantee to eliminate eight of the most common daily problems people face, go to http://www.recreateyourlife.com/store.
copyright © 2010 Morty Lefkoe
Very interesting post and comments. I look foward to Morty’s responses.
Hey Morty,
Thanks so much for your work!
I recently purchased the Natural Confidence program, and I must say, I’m astounded by the results… literally, I would go through a belief, and the next day I would strangely noticed subtle yet powerful changes in my reactions. The best example, in my case, was after eliminating “in order for me to be important or good enough, others must like me”… the next day, I would interact with people and subtly with strangers passing by, WITHOUT a compulsion to elicit approval from them! I was just chill :)
Anyway, my main reason for commenting is to ask you advice on using your program… I’m about a third of the way through, and I’m wondering if for the rest of the beliefs I can somehow shorten the process by only listening to the “essential” parts versus the whole thing. The reason I say this is because I tend to have ADD tendencies so it’s difficult for me to listen to everything, especially if it seems non-essential, like re-explaining the same exact general concepts as in the other beliefs. Is there a good way for me to skip non-essential parts and have the same overall effect?
The second question I have is about eliminated my own personal limiting beliefs that aren’t on the program. Is there anything you would recommend, aside from watching the DVDs with replacing my own belief-up-for-elimination. (The main belief I’m thinking of eliminating is “I’m broken” or “My psyche is permanently damaged”… I developed these beliefs after some very intense and traumatizing events from a couple years back, and while I now feel normal in a sense, I still this belief.)
Thanks,
Nate
A new thought.
Ecellent.
Could it be that by not assuming, we are asking therefore we are learning?
The old cliche’…never assume anything!
As a nurse we are taught critical thinking. My definition of this is “why you think what you think about what you are thinking”. When I found the LefKoe method it seemed to be on the same track. As a home health nurse with critically ill patients I find this information to be vitally important. Yes I have certain underlying skills that do not change. However, the interpretation of the information gathered must be constantly challenged. The “tightnes in my chest” may be gas, stress, or heart complications. Each with a different response on a different day. Thank you Marty for the great post reminding us “Answers close doors Questions open”.
I also received a virus warning when I first opened this page.
You always have great advice, Morty.
However, I, too, received a Trojan alert when I opened this wepage.
Thanks for the awesome post, Morty.
As someone said – Much more dangerous than ignorance is the illusion of knowledge.
I read an article several years ago about the value of questioning and that asking “How?” generates more “answers” and “truths” then just asking “Why?” Of course, this is most children’s way of finding out about the world. As an adult, I find this a more practical way of moving on; in my family “Why” questions were asked a lot not to figure out a person’s unique way of looking at or doing something, but rather as a way of saying, “That’s wrong.” The tone was frequently challenging or accusatory….though this may be one interpretation of those events. This one change from asking “Why” to asking “How” has opened up a world of exploring my own Journey to self-fullfillment. And like Mark who deals with horses, one solution or answer doesn’t necessarily work for everyone.
Love and Light
Great post!
Doesn’t one run the risk of asking too many questions and simply getting lost in analyzing the current situation?
I am a professional farrier, my line of work keeps me constantly questioning what I already know. Every horse is individual even to the same afflictions so the answers do not always work the same for the question being asked.
In my case I need to keep asking, “Is this the best way to do this right now?”
So, what you’re saying is to be a sceptic of our own answers and beliefs! (as Don Miguel Ruiz puts it in his book; The Fifth Agreement). And keep asking; “Is this the best way to do this right now?”
I spent like 2 hours with a very educated highly intelligent friend to help him see the possibility of occurrings outside his beliefs. He seemed to agree with me on the existence of those possibilities but he was compelled to see them as coincidences, or events at the margins. His beliefs obviously pulled his perspective to where it was where I was trying to help him look from a different perspective. Without going to the past and reevaluating the answers he already had about reality, it was a waste of energy and a battle uphill. One interesting thing was his resistance to eliminate even one belief, to apply even once the Lefkoe Method. I have seen this resistance not from one person but from many. It is like taking the red pill in the movie Matrix and people feel its significance and some shy away from this freedom. He told me, “Even though you may be right, I like the taste of this juicy steak” referring to another character who was bargaining with the agents in the movie to erase his memory and give him a famous personality in the Matrix. The primary block in people to understand the power of the Lefkoe Method is the first experience of eliminating a belief.
Hi Morty,
Always love the content. Quick question though, lets take a skill like driving, there is not necessarily a lot of “Questioning” going on when learning to drive, the skills are very simple to explain but need to be learned on a subconscious level. If well learned this allows other such skills to be built upon the existing skills and also saves time in the execution of the skills in that one doesn’t need to relearn all the time.
Last year I learned about boundaries in my personal and professional life. While not THE truth in all circumstances that skill is super useful. How would you suggest one go about reviewing answers without being involved in constant re-evaluation?
-Schalk
Thank you Morty for your hints and for opening my mind.
Only one thing, when I opened this page it gave me some threat alert.